Sunflower

Chapter 6

Lucy

Present Day

I've been silently stirring my drink, letting my mind be consumed with memories. Some of which I haven't thought of in such a long time. Those memories remind me of just how far Chris and I have come. In fact, I don't think I could've made it through the past five years of my life without him. I had no idea at the time we were only just confessing our love to each other that Chris would quickly become my safe place, my go-to person.

When I needed someone most, he came at just the right time...

And he really was my rock through it all.

I look over at him while he sits and pretends to listen to our friends laughing and talking together. He's forcing a smile every once in a while, but it's clear his mind is elsewhere.

He looks up at me and catches my eyes, and though I'm tempted to look away, I don't. I want to say something, but nothing feels right. I mean, we broke up hours ago, but then had s*x in the bathroom twenty minutes ago. It didn't erase the issues in our relationship. If only it really were that easy...the way it used to be.

Chris used to be my escape from everything. He made the world make sense again. He gave me the strength to go on.

And I guess that's why I feel so selfish for wanting him to stay here with me when he has such a big opportunity. I had told myself that my love for him is the reason I was ending our relationship; so he could be free to explore this new opportunity with nothing holding him back.

"How is your mom doing, Lucy?" Cole asks, making my heart dip at just the mention of her.

Chris and I share a look. He knows what a touchy subject my mother is for me. None of my friends, including Annie, know just how bad things had gotten between mom and me. But Chris knows. He knows almost everything.

"She's fine," Chris finally answers on my behalf.

Cole looks to me and furrows his brows as if he's waiting for me to go on, but luckily, Chris changes the subject.

"So Annie, what does your dad have to say about you getting married in a black dress?"

Annie gasps as all eyes turn to her. She looks around at us as if she's shocked that we know. Actually, I was the only one she told, but then I told Chris. And now due to his panicked subject change, everyone knows.

"What?!" Andrew and Cole ask at the same time.

Annie gives me a look; one that lets me know she intends to make me pay for this later. I only grimace.

She clears her throat and sits up straight. "That's right. I'm wearing black. What of it?"

"Well, you're definitely not a virgin, so I guess white was never an option, but black?" Andrew asks, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

"Ivory is pretty. Why didn't you go with that?" Cole asks.

"I may as well just carry a sign that says 'I'm not a virgin'," Annie replies in annoyance. "I know black isn't conventional, but I don't want to be conventional. Sam and I want to do things our way."

"Black is the color of death," Cole says, still clearly confused by all this.

Everyone laughs except for Sam and Annie. They only look around at us like they have no idea why we'd think this is funny. I have no idea why they would think we wouldn't. Annie's not a black wedding dress type of girl at all, but Sam brings out the weird in her.

"I thought women wore black dresses for divorce ceremonies," Chris says.

"Oh yeah, I saw something about that in an article once. Women are having ceremonies to celebrate divorce and they wear black wedding dresses or either do something crazy to the original dress," Andrew adds.

"How did we just go from wedding dress to divorce in a matter of seconds?" Sam asks.

Chris and I, once again, share a look. We were never married, not even engaged, but it kind of feels like we're getting a divorce. We lived together and spent five years of our lives being each other's partner in everything- happy times, sad times, hard times, fun times....

Suddenly feeling emotional, I stand up with the intentions of heading over to the bar, but I'm a little too drunk to make such quick movements and I end up toppling over onto Chris. Thankfully, he catches me and I'm not hurt in any way.

"Whoa there. Maybe it's time for you to stop drinking," he chuckles, helping me back into my chair.

I nod, staring at him blankly, even though I heard what he said. I am too drunk. Way too drunk. And if I don't sober up soon, I'm afraid I'm gonna do something really stupid.

"Maybe we should take a walk," he suggests.

Still a bit frazzled, I only nod and let him lead me towards the exit. No one even bothers to ask where we're going, although I can feel my phone vibrating in my back pocket. I know it's Annie and I know she's probably wondering what the hell I'm doing.

I'm kind of wondering that myself.

Once we make it outside, I take a deep breath and try to steady my racing heart. The fresh air sobers me up just a little and allows my foggy brain to recuperate just a little.

"Are you feeling okay?" Chris asks.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"You look lost."

I look at him and furrow my brows. I want to snap at him, but why? What does lost even mean? Empty? Hopeless? Alone? If so, then yes. I'm lost. I'm confused. Conflicted. Even in my drunken state, I know what I have to do, I just can't do it.

"I figured all that talk about divorce was probably hard for you," he says, causing me to look at him in surprise. "I mean, with what you just went through with your parents not too long ago."

I nod, hanging my head. My parents' divorce was bad. Really bad. The way they treated each other...I'll never forget it. It filled me with so much doubt about my own relationship, but Chris never faltered. Through everything my parents put me through during the long, drawn-out battle, he was my refuge. He showed me every day that he cared about me, even if my own parents didn't seem to.

The way he kissed me, the way he eased my fears, the way he just...held me...

He made every day better. Even days I had to spend with my parents. Ugh, and I remember the day they met him for the first time. It couldn't have gone worse.

4 years ago, Staten Island, New York

It's my first time coming back home in nearly a year and I'm no more looking forward to it than I was the last time I was here. But this time, at least I have Chris with me. We've been dating for close to a year, but I've never introduced him to my parents. He's about to find out why.

"I know I said I wouldn't sweat this, but I'm really starting to sweat this," Chris says as we walk up to the front door. "How do I approach your brother? What do I say?"

"Don't say anything. You have to treat Tommy like a cat. Let him come to you. Let him feel you out and decide when he's ready. Earn his trust," I reply.

Chris takes a deep breath and nods.

"I promise, my parents will be way harder to deal with than my little brother," I smirk.

"Ah, thanks for that, babe. It's exactly what I needed to hear seconds before I meet them," he replies sarcastically.

I ring the doorbell and wait for a about a minute before I ring it again. They're expecting us, so I have no idea what's taking them so long. But then I hear my mother yelling at my father; the sound of her shrill voice drawing closer and closer to the door.

I look at Chris and frown. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" he asks, giving me a reassuring smile just as the front door opens.

My mom is the type that attracts a lot of attention with her bright red hair, flawless, age-defying good looks and firm body, so I'm not surprised at all when Chris' jaw nearly drops to the floor at the sight of her.

He quickly pulls himself together and extends his hand to shake hers. "Hi Mrs. Sunday. My name is Chris Myers. I've heard so much about you."

My mom gives him a once over and smiles, shaking his hand. "Wow, Lucy. He's even cuter than you described."

"Mom," I smile like a psycho, hoping she takes the hint to back away from my man before I start acting crazy.

She giggles and steps aside for us to come in. "Tommy will be so happy to see you. He looks forward to your video calls every night."

I smile. "He seems to really like Chris. Through the phone, anyway."

Mom looks from me to Chris and smiles. "You know, it means so much that you've taken the time to get to know our Tommy. He usually doesn't take too well to strangers, but you're bringing him out of his shell."

Chris smiles proudly. "He's a good kid. I'm hoping he likes me just as much in person as he does over the phone."

We walk into the dining room and dad is sitting at the table with his face buried in his laptop, as usual. He doesn't even bother acknowledging us until mom clears her throat. He finally looks up at me and smiles, but it quickly fades when he notices Chris standing next to me.

"Who is this?" he asks, turning his nose up.

"This is Lucy's boyfriend, Chris. You knew he was coming, so don't pretend to be confused. It's not cute," mom says, rolling her eyes at him. "Please, have a seat and I'll bring dinner out," she says, putting her fake smile back on for us.

Chris and I take a seat at the dining room table and my dad goes right back to his lap top like we're not even here. I don't mind though. I've never gotten along with my dad all that well since I've gotten older. He's always been so busy and withdrawn. He claims he can't handle Tommy, or that he doesn't have time to deal with his tantrums, so that burden has always fallen on my mother. Over time, I can tell it's exhausted her- both mentally and physically. So I'm not all that surprised that she's started to resent my father.

"Tommy, you remember Lucy's friend, Chris, right?" mom asks, leading Tommy into the dining room.

Tommy only stares at Chris, emotionless. His dark brown hair falls over his bright blue eyes, making him look like a shaggy dog. But he hates getting his hair cut, so we only fight that battle every few months or so.

He's wearing his favorite Star Wars shirt, as always. And since Chris is a huge Star Wars fan, I know that's the topic he'll go for first.

"Hi there, Tommy. Cool shirt," Chris says, making me smile.

Tommy gives him nothing. He doesn't even blink.

"What do you say when someone gives you a compliment, Tommy?" mom asks him.

"Thank you," Tommy replies in a monotone voice.

"Good. Why don't you have a seat next to your sister and I'll finish getting dinner ready," mom says, pushing Tommy forward.

He hesitantly rounds the table and sits in the empty chair next to me. He keeps his head down, not saying a word.

"How is school going?" I ask Tommy.

"Good," he answers without looking up.

"What about the science fair? You never told me how your space project went."

"I got first place," he replies quietly.

"Wow, first place? That's great!" Chris says.

"First place for students with special needs," dad adds, glancing up at Chris from his lap top.

Chris looks at me like he has no idea what to say. I sigh and shake my head. I hate it when my dad is like this. He acts as if it's such an inconvenience to have a son with special needs. He always wanted a son who could be active in sports, the same way he was back in his glory days. But what he got instead was a daughter who couldn't have been more of a girly-girl and a son who is too afraid of social interaction to play any type of sport.

"Tommy, that's amazing! Did you get a ribbon?" I ask him.

He finally looks up at me with the hint of a smile on his face and nods.

"Are you going to show it to me?" I ask.

His smile grows even wider and he nods again. "Do you want to see my ribbon?" he asks Chris.

Chris smiles, looking from me to Tommy. "Of course!"