Uncharted Hearts: From Casual to Forever

019~ YOUR

Lucas

I sat at the edge of a long table in the conference room, my mind wandering far from the reports being presented by the heads of each department. The weight of my mother's threats echoed in my thoughts, a haunting melody reminding me of how messed up my life was.

Vulnerability, a feeling I seldom allowed, now hung in the air like an uninvited guest. Admitting my love for Aria felt like an involuntary breach of my own defences. I hadn't anticipated confessing to my mother, and I couldn't decipher where that admission had come from.

As the department heads droned on about statistics and accomplishments, my internal turmoil intensified.

I had denied my feelings when Jax had pointed them out. There was no way I was in love with her, right? When did these unfamiliar emotions for her begin to take root?

Admitting to myself that she was special felt like a small victory in acknowledging the depth of my emotions. I recognized a difference in myself when she was around. Aria was the only woman who didn't wear on me, the only one I allowed into a tiny part of the guarded space I rarely shared with anyone. For someone who kept to himself, that was a significant step.

A heavy sigh escaped my lips, and I absentmindedly tapped on the table, my mother's veiled threat still ringing in my ears like a dissonant melody. Closing my eyes, I allowed the conflicting emotions to unravel within me. Fear, love, and the revelation of my own feelings swirled in a tempest of confusion.

Drowning out the cacophony of voices in the room, she emerged in the darkness behind my eyelids. Every nuance of her face burst to life—the gentle curve of her smile, the spark that ignited in her eyes, and the cascade of her hair, a soft and mesmerizing curtain that framed her silhouette.

In that moment, everything else faded into insignificance; she was the sole focus of my thoughts. The contours of her features, the warmth emanating from her gaze, and the tender softness of her lips—each detail etched into my mind like an unerasable memory.

It became clear to me at that precise moment – I wasn't prepared to let her slip away, not now, not ever. I had made the grievous mistake three years ago, taking her presence for granted, and I had no intentions of repeating that error.

what about your mother?

The haunting image of my mother standing in proximity to Aria, laughter dripping with mockery, filled my mind. The realization struck me like a chilling breeze – she was entirely capable of executing the threats she had made. There was no bluffing in her intentions; I knew that all too well. The mere thought of her delving into Aria's life, orchestrating a move to harm her, sent shivers down my spine.

A surge of anger coursed through me, and without realizing, my hands slammed forcefully on the table. The room echoed with startled gasps, snapping me back to the reality of the meeting.

"f**k," I muttered under my breath, standing up abruptly and striding away from the table.

The attempt to bury myself in work as an escape had failed. I needed distraction badly, and any form was welcomed.

Running away from your problems won't solve it.

I know that, Goddammit.

I wanted to return to my office but thought against it. I needed to leave this building. I walked to the car park, entered my car, and drove off. Going back home wasn't on my list of options. I knew she wasn't there right now, but I didn't dare to go back. She had reminded me of the nanny that took care of me, a memory I didn't want to revisit. There was too much blood. I felt suffocated as I gripped my tie, tugging at it. The car felt like it was closing in, and everything seemed blurry.

I clenched the steering wheel, the hum of the engine and the rhythmic beat of my heart synchronized in an unsettling dance. My chest tightened, suffocating beneath the weight of the memories. The air felt thick, and I struggled to draw in a breath, as if reliving that moment had stolen the very oxygen from the car.

As I approached the intersection, the traffic lights changed, ushering in a kaleidoscope of colors that danced before my eyes. The world outside blurred, and the sounds of engines and honking horns became distant echoes beneath the relentless pulse of my heartbeat.

Breathe, Lucas. You are not f*****g nine.

I took deep, long breaths, attempting to regain control. I had to get rid of her new spies, but before that, I needed to sleep. I had barely slept since that night. My phone rang, and when I checked, it was Aria.

My heartbeat quickened, and something tugged at my chest. How long had it been since I saw her, heard her? I longed for her in that moment. I was tempted to pick up, but I couldn't.

It was dangerous for me to be close to her now. Still, I yearned to be selfish.

"If she calls the second time, I would pick up," I declared. However, she didn't call again. I reassured myself that it was for the best.

It was.

Jax screamed, "Jesus Christ, Lucas, you look like a f*****g zombie!" pretending to jump as I entered. I ignored him, walking straight to the room in his flat that I made mine, weariness evident in every step.

Shedding my coat, I let it carelessly fall to the floor, followed by my white shirt. Kicking off my shoes, I left only my socks on as I collapsed onto the bed, arm draped over my forehead.

Staying with Jax provided a temporary refuge, a brief escape from the ominous threats of my mother. I hoped to find another flat, somewhere she wouldn't easily locate. In the midst of my silent contemplation, a knock disrupted the solitude.

"f**k off, bastard," I grumbled, my eyes remaining closed.

Jaxson laughed, and I could hear his footsteps as he entered despite my dismissive tone.

"What's up with you? You've been having mood swings lately like a woman on her period," Jaxson teased, seemingly unaffected by my foul mood.

With closed eyes, I couldn't determine Jaxson's location, but I knew he was close. "Not ready to talk yet?" Jax pressed on.

"Get the f**k out of my room!" I shouted, frustration lacing my tone.

"This is my house, dammit," Jax pointed.

Fuck! I stood up to leave, picking up my shirt. However, Jaxson intervened, grabbing my arms and pulling me back onto the bed. I attempted to free myself, but Jaxson's grip remained strong.

"Let go of me," I seethed.

"Quit acting like a p***y. It's not like you have any other place to go," Jax advised sternly.

"I can stay at a hotel."

"You should've thought about that before coming here. You needed someone to talk to, and that's why you came to me. I don't get why you still haven't said anything yet," Jax pointed out, finally releasing me.

An unbearable silence filled the room. How could I broach the discussion about my mom being the root of my problems?

Cole and Jax when we were little, had often expressed jealousy about the fact that I knew my mother and grew up with her. Little did they know the harsh reality of what I went through staying with her.

"Whenever you feel up to it, I will try giving you a listening ear." Jax said and I nodded.

"I'm going out; won't be back until evening. Make sure you eat," he instructed as he left.

I despised the overwhelming sense of despair that consumed me, and right now, I had no desire to engage with anyone. I craved solitude.

I was jolted awake by the persistent sound of the doorbell, and I hissed in annoyance, wondering why the hell Jax hadn't answered it. Then, it hit me – he wasn't here; he had gone out. I debated ignoring the insistent ringing, but the person outside seemed determined. "s**t!" I cursed, lazily dragging myself out of bed.

As I walked out of the room, irritation still fresh on my face, I reached the door, where the bell continued its relentless noise. "Seriously, if the door doesn't open, take it as a hint and f**k off," I grumbled, swinging the door open with annoyance etched on my features.

The anger that had gripped me dissolved into something entirely different when I saw Aria standing there. She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, biting her lip, and those emerald eyes stared into mine. "I was going to leave if you didn't answer this time," she said, her lashes fluttering.

Time seemed to pause for a moment. My irritation evaporated, replaced by a mix of surprise, warmth, and a hint of vulnerability. Aria, standing at my doorstep, brought an unexpected rush of emotions. The unexpected rush of emotions and the magnetic presence of Aria stirred something within me, causing a strange tug in my chest. The initial annoyance from the doorbell transformed into a softer sentiment as I took in her presence.