Blind to love

Letters home

Starting the day with a jog I think about ripping into the letter from the boys I received today though the post. Waking up later than usual I wasn't prepared to see a letter from the boys, they know I miss them but they don't know how hard it is for me to sit or lie in the silence. Taking myself around the fields this time instead of around town I find myself enjoying the jog as there's no chance of me running into my brother or Zoey as the first time wasn't what I had in mind, neither went to plan. Feeling the sun on the back of my neck I stop for a quick second taking my t-shirt off using it as a sweat rag wiping as the sweat pours from my forehead, I knew I should off checked the weather before I started jogging around the fields. Slowing my pace down a smile appears on my face when I feel a slight bit of wind, whenever I ran in training I never felt the wind as I have a back pack on or wasn't allowed to take our clothes off as we ran. Running in full uniform killed us all especially when the sun was out and our lieutenant made us run for miles, it was great for our endurance but it killed my back. Stopping for a little break I catch my breath before I pace myself back home ready to start on the car again, I have wanted to get the car started for a while but the piece of s**t still isn't starting, I got all the oil from the engine and replaced the parts I needed but it still wont start, I need another jack to get my car up as I may off accidentally broke the last one, my bad. Pacing home I feel the wind hit my face as I enjoy myself, its been a while since I have enjoyed such a moment, jogging around the town is relaxing and so much better then running on a treadmill in a gym and in front of everyone. However jogging with the wind in your face and an open space is what I love. 

Making it home all sweaty I waste no time grabbing a quick shower and changing my clothes wanting to open the letter from the boys its been a week since I have heard anything from them. Opening the letter a picture falls out dropping on the floor, picking it up I looked at the photo of the six of us smiling, I remember the time that photo was taken and we had completed a training course in record time beating kai's team record by only a couple of seconds, placing the picture on the fridge till I get a picture frame I pick the letter back up ready to loose myself in what they are doing. 

Callie 

You wouldn't believe how much we are missing you right now, our lieutenant has got us running like you wouldn't believe it and training against each other, we are knackered. However it's not the reason I'm writing now, I want to know how your doing? have you spoke to your brother yet if so how did he take it or did you back out? I know you wouldn't of said anything about your past and there's no rush, baby steps. I have let my parents know you are out the services and there excited for you to visit, they know about kai but don't be that the reason you don't visit. I sent the photo too you as a reminder that you are strong and let your smile lead your way. I'm sorry we can't be there with you but once we get leave we be on the first plane too you well thats if you will have us. Please write us back and tell us your ok, we are all worried about you and how your doing, if I don't hear from you soon I'm going to take it as your not ok and we be requesting leave to make sure you are, our lieutenant would understand. we miss you, and love you forever. look after yourself angel face. 

love your family of five boys 

Reading the letter I knew they are worried about me and them requesting leave to see me is a real threat as they would, I have learnt to take everything they say serious and I will be writing back pretty soon, I'm glad I have them to talk too as they understand me and everything I been though, I just wish they was here or I was there. They calling me angel face brings back memories as when they first saw me with my blonde hair and blue eyes they thought I was a barbie but when Ryan was hurt he came too calling me angel and it took less then five seconds for Jacob to call me angel face as I have one of those faces where they would think they are in haven. I love them, it was so easy to have my guard down with them. Looking at the handwriting I know Jacob has wrote the letter as he has the best handwriting after me of course but I love how they all signed it at the bottom like a personal touch, we did that when we wrote a letter and it was from all of us. Picking a piece of paper up I start writing back

Boys 

Don't worry about me I bought a car as a project car and I'm working on that to keep me busy and jog every morning feeling the wind in my face, you would love it here. I seen my brother but I couldn't form words and I chickened out, so I emailed him and he has loads of questions i can't answer, its hard for me to explain everything to him, he wouldn't understand. Like you said baby steps but I haven't emailed him back yet, I don't know how. Like you requested I am writing back so no need to request leave, I look forward to seeing you when you have time off which I'm hoping is pretty soon well thats if you don't get called off, I really look forward to seeing you all again and catching up, I miss you all. I will visit your parents Jacob but I don't want the pity looks they would give me, I'm still healing from the lost its still fresh in my mind, seeing him enter the building and less then a minute later the building comes crashing down, its stuck. I look forward to hearing your voices again, till then I love you forever and ever. 

love your angel face

Placing the letter in the envelope I'm looking forward to hearing from them again I just wish they drop the subject about kai as I don't think I can write about him without tearing up. Letter in hand I climb in my car ready to post this and head to a near by garage hoping I can borrow a jack so I can get under my car. Driving down the road I post the letter in the first mail box I see before searching for a garage, I mean how hard can I be finding one, turning the corner I carry on driving till one comes into view, I just hope they have a spare one to rent as I couldn't find one in the shops to buy. Parking the car outside I climb out seeing a little boy maybe around ten play with a football, as he kicks the ball to me, I kick it back hoping his parents told him not to talk to strangers, however he is the adorable little human I have seen, I love kids and wished I had my own but I cant. Shaking the though out my mind I give the little boy a smile before walking up to the garage. 

"Are you here for my daddy to fix your car?" I hear the little boy ask and he's the sweetest little thing, I guess his daddy is one of the mechanics that work here but I'm hoping the manager or owner is here to talk too. Nodding my head he leads us both inside to the main reception, I start looking around knowing this garage wasn't here when I left so it must be new, my home town isn't the biggest like the city but its not the smallest where everyone knows everyone business. As if It was I wouldn't of come back home, I wouldn't of copied if everyone knew about my past however this town does talk. 

"I hope your parents told you not to speak to strangers little man" I say earning a toothy grin and thats gives me the answer I'm looking for, his parents have warned him and I bet they told him to stay in sight so he can see him, looking at the time I see its only just after three so school must be over, no wonder he's here but teach them young I guess. Waiting around I see the boy run off when we both hear foot steps get closer, must be his father. 

"sorry about my son, what can I help with" knowing that voice I turn around, I didn't expect to see him again never mind in my home town, I'm froze in place as I look into green eyes, I can't believe we actually met again and that he has a son. wow small place. is it too late to do a runner?