SPEED DATING WITH A MAFIA KING

7. DANGEROUS TERRITORY

AZRAIL’S P.O.V

There is no point in forcing yourself to work when your body is forcing you to sleep. I took a shot of the antiviral drug which fought off any infections to the body through blood infection. I always took it after going on my killing sprees, blood all over my body, not knowing what diseases it carried.

The shot drained all the energy from the body, just wrecking it hard with the bathroom immediately spinning. It was like taking a shot of heroine, immediately getting high on it.

The needle was pulled out before I fell and broke it in my skin. I threw it in the bin, throwing the vial after as my stomach turned even more.

My hands gripped on the sink, stumbling over in my briefs, my hair dripping wet from the shower I had just taken. My feet carried me as far as the bed, the room dark and cold. I could not even get under the covers, feeling the cold find shelter in me but too gone to cover myself.

Only one face filled my head as I drifted away. Only one voice, the only light in my life which I was afraid I would extinguish. There were so many things wrong in my life but her, she was the only thing right. Holding onto her would be selfish and she would soon turn into the darkness because everything in my cursed life turned to nothing but horror.

Her face shook away from my dreams, screams and blood filled my head. Many men I had killed, haunting me as they did every time I closed my eyes. I could see each and everyone of them, recalling them pretty well, recalling how I had ended them as if I was a God when I was far from that. I was nothing, a nobody who did not even exist in the world. If I died, it would all be gone just like that, my name disappearing yet I did not want to leave anything back. The world did not deserve scumbags like me, we were everything that was wrong with it.

My head turned, my body stirring with the pain hitting hard. The cold had sunk in deep, shivering hard. It was the worst sleep I had ever had, feeling more sick, feeling more tired than before. My head was pounding, a groan pulling from me.

My body turned around, feeling like death, feeling like the world was ending because it always felt as if it was but it never did.

And just like every other morning, I sat up in bed. My skin was pale, my lips quivering from the cold and I hated it. My head turned, staring at the curtains with them thick, hiding the light away from me. I had checked the weather while driving to the house and it would be cold throughout the weekend.

My hand stretched, pulling the phone over only for me to frown. It was nine o'clock. I had over slept, shaking my head. Such slacking could not be tolerated.

My body pushed up with me fixing the bed before going to the bathroom to shower, brush my teeth and piss. I walked out, the water having done all they could to warm me up but the damage was far grand. I wore a sweater and sweat pants along with socks before pulling on a beanie and slipping my feet in sleepers. My phone was put in my pocket, walking out of my room.

The noise could be heard where I was and I felt my head pound even harder.

I wished I had not texted back.

My mind always told me the best option for the both of us and I went for the total opposite of it. I did not understand it. I did not understand the need to keep on trying. I did not understand the need to try and make it right. I did not understand the need to have someone smile at me. I hated every single part of it, feeling weak, feeling strange and pathetic yet there we were.

My feet moved, walking down the steps and boxes were by the door. I frowned, my head pounding even more, not even wanting to know.

The house was warm and smelt good. Food was something I could use, so that was good.

I just did not know how to act. I did not have the energy to try and figure it out. I did not have the energy to try and be someone I was not. I did not like flowers, I hated them. I hated buying them, felt like a fool doing it. The guilt hit hard and I frowned even harder.

The sound of pots and humming came from the kitchen. How could she be that happy when all I was seeing was gray? How could she hum when I was drowning.

Fvck.

I should not have texted back, yet I had to deal with the consequences.

My body turned, walking into the kitchen as I wondered why I had to even go into the kitchen. Why didn’t I just sit in my office all day long as I would have done, doing my work in peace.

My eyes ran through the messy kitchen, the smell itself just deterring all my thoughts.

My eyes fell on the tiny girl wearing gray sweat pants, white sneakers and a simple t-shirt that looked good on her. She was not really tiny but in my head, I always had the imagine of her in my office the first time I met her. She had reminded me of a rabbit, so scared yet so cute it had made me frown. I had asked question from question, her body shaking so hard, seeing the fear but her voice had come out, low yet firm, answering so respectfully my groin had stiffened just a little.

She would always be like a tiny rabbit to me.

My eyes took her in from her short dark hair to her tall skinny neck and her well sculptured back.

I suddenly realized why I had texted back.

Buying flowers for her wasn’t as bad.

I would buy flowers from all over the country if need be.

I would continue trying, continue trying to be the best man I could be just to get a chance with her.

Color was suddenly all I could see, my feet moving on their own, closing the distance between us. She stirred another pot, closing the lid after, and placing down the spoon.

She wiped her working area and I could not stop myself as my arms wrapped around her waist.

Her body froze, she immediately shaking with her as if to faint. Her heart immediately went crazy, the blood rushing to her face as she got so hot but I had not even began. My arms let go, holding on her waist to turn her around, wanting to see that face.

She had a natural beauty with her innocence written all over her face despite everything she went through.

My little rabbit.

Her wide eyes stared back at me, having me to internally chuckle. She could not believe, her hands on my shoulders, having me freeze.

I was still not used to being touched, too many things having been done to me and all including touch. I did not appreciate being touched or held.

My arms ran around her waist, tugging her a little as she gasped out, giggling. My head lowered, an emergence filling me, taking over all my senses.

I did not want her, I needed her. My head lowered, her head tipping up. I did not waste time taking her lips, taking her and pulling her even higher because she was mine. She was mine and fvck it, she was all mine.

Her body melted to me, just wilting like a flower in my arms and I loved it. I loved how weak I left her, giving me all as we kissed. I slipped my tongue in, stroking inside with her wrapping her legs around my waist, pulling even closer with her hands trying to grip as hard as she could but soon, her hands slipped away and I knew it was time to pull away.

My head pulled back, lips parting from hers.

I hated kissing before I met her.

Her eyes were closed, her breath harsh, seeing her face as she tried gripping me again, weak and she did not know sexy that was. Her body leaned over, burying her face in the crook of my neck with me tensing, hating my body’s reaction.

My arms held on tighter, relishing the moment, relishing what I was feeling even though I did not understand it. Her head pulled up after a while, she blushing and grinning it was something I could capture and stare at for hours.

Her smile healed my dark heart little by little.

She bit her lower lip to let go of it, staring up at me as she tried to compose herself and it was an entertaining show to watch. I could just sit and watch her be herself and it would make my week.

“ Morning.” She suddenly whispered and that was where the problem was.

I did not like talking unless forced to. Why couldn’t I just nod my head to that.

I did just that, nodding my head with her not phased even a little.

“ Did I wake you? Sorry, I am nearly done though. I tried being as quiet as I could be.” She rambled on. I could just see the excitement. She had emphasized for the car to pick her up at six which had pissed me at that time, but I had agreed either or.

Since the weather would be cold, she wanted to come over, for the weekend.

I was not sure I was going to last but I was going to try. She was putting herself out and I would at least try to meet her halfway.

“ The food is nearly done. I have made our lunch, dinner and snacks. I bought some things which we would do all day if you don’t mind.” She continued with my hands falling away as I nod my head.

“ I also made you breakfast, we could eat it together.” She said, her head bowing down, seeing her hype chirp away little by little from my prolonged silence. She really was trying and I did not understand why. I did not understand her or people for that matter.

Why was she still around? Why was she letting her heart out to me? Did she not know the damage I could do? Did she not see the monster I was. I had ended so many lives, and would have ended hers too at any part of our marriage. Why was I even talking in past tense? If she crossed me, would I be able to hold a gun to her head? The pause in that question alarmed me. I was threading through dangerous territory and for the first time I did not know what to do.

One day I wanted to try, the next I wanted to forget I even knew her.