The Billionaire's f*******n Desire

6. How to Unlove You?

Aaliyah's POV

Guilt crept into my system when I heard him say 'okay'. That was the last word that I heard him utter. I didn't even greet him happy birthday.

I regretted saying those words to him. When alcohol kicks in I can no longer control the words that came out of my mouth.

After dropping Mia off at her house we drove towards the Augustus' mansion. I want to greet him but I have no idea how I can utter those words after everything that I have said to him earlier.

When we arrived at the gate of our mansion I remained seated in the car. I wanted to say something and that hinders me from leaving him.

"I'm sorry," I blurted out with my head bowed down. I didn't hear any response for a few seconds but after a while, I heard him speak.

"You don't have to be sorry Aaliyah," he responded and as I listen intently to his voice I can tell that he is in pain.

"My words were harsh and I never meant those," I responded then lifted my head and looked at him. I saw him shake his head as if he disagrees with my words.

"Drunk words are sober thoughts, Aaliyah," he uttered then smiled at me and it was a painful smile.

I run out of words and I have no idea how I should respond.

"You don't have to feel sorry, you are just letting your thoughts out and there is nothing wrong with that," he uttered then gave me one last smile before getting off from his car and walking to my side to open the passenger seat.

"Can I receive a happy birthday from you Aaliyah?" he asked.

"H-Happy B-Birthday Carson and I am s-sorry," I uttered stuttering then picked up my bag and walked out of his car.

I walked towards the mansion without looking back. I continued walking until I reached my room. I immediately walked inside and lay my body on the bed.

I stared at the ceiling while the argument that I had with him earlier kept on playing like a broken cassette.

I couldn't sleep at all so I decided to walk out of my room and headed towards our kitchen. I didn't buy him any gift since I am planning to give him cookies but the cookies that I bake yesterday were put to waste.

When I reached the kitchen I walked towards our pantry area to get some ingredients that I will use in baking cookies.

I started mixing dry ingredients and then proceed with the wet ingredients. I mix everything up and preheated the oven.

After performing all the processes all I am doing now is waiting for the cookies to cook. After twelve minutes I took it out from the oven and placed it on the counter.

I waited for the cookies to cool down then grabbed the blue box with a ribbon on the side.

When the cookies are cooled I started putting them in the box. I stared at my finished product and I can't help but be proud of myself.

I smiled then clean the kitchen and walked back towards my room. I am still thinking of ways how should give it to him when I heard a beep of a car coming from our garage

I walked out of the room holding the box filled with cookies thinking that it was him but while I climbed down the stairs I saw him and Ava. Ava is holding a blue box and upon seeing it Carson smiled and then kissed Ava's forehead. I stopped midway down the stairs and just watch them hug each other tightly.

A bitter smile appeared on my lips then turned around planning to walk back to my room but before I could take a step I heard Ava calling my name.

I am hesitating to turn around but I guess it is rude to just keep on walking without looking at them.

I slowly look back and then smiled awkwardly at Ava who is smiling at me widely.

I walked in their direction to greet them properly.

"You are about to sleep?" she asked and I nod my head.

"You look good even though you are not wearing any makeup, Aaliyah," she uttered then stared at my face intently with adoration in her eyes.

"Thank you," I shyly uttered then gave her a small smile. Ava smiled back then turned her head on Carson.

"I find it odd but no matter how long I'd stare at you and Carson's face I can't find any similarities," she commented but later on chuckled maybe she find her thoughts funny as well.

"Anyway what's the thing you are hiding behind your back Aaliyah?" she asked then looked at me with curiosity in her eyes.

I have no choice but to show them the box that I am holding.

"You baked your brother cookies?" she asked in disbelief and I awkwardly nodded my head.

"I don't have any gift for him so...," I uttered then look at Carson and extended my hand to give him the box filled with cookies.

Carson looked at me intently before speaking.

"I stopped eating sweets Aaliyah," he politely uttered. This is the first time that he rejected me. He always accepts gifts from me even though it is a small ones but this time I received rejection and I have no idea how can my fragile heart handle it.

"O-Okay," I responded and I heard my voice break after a while I felt my tears falling from my eyes.

I cried in front of them and this is the thing that I hate the most, showing people how weak I am.

Carson's POV

I wanted to wipe away her tears and tell to her that I am sorry. I wanted to wrap her inside my arms but I have no right to do that because she is right, I have no right to everything. I have no right to hold her because I am just a bastard who ruined her family.

Her words earlier woke me up from reality. I have no right to love her because it will ruin her. It will ruin our family's perfect picture.

"Oh my God Aaliyah," Ava blurted out then wrapped Aaliyah around her arms. She caressed Aaliyah's hair and all I did was watch them.

After a while, Ava looked at me and I received a death glare from her.

"I'm sorry," I mouthed then walked out of the living room and walked towards my room.

When I entered the room I leaned my back against my door and closed my eyes tightly along with my fist.

I took a deep breath to calm myself down.

I don't want this feeling either. I don't want this racing heart whenever I see her. I don't want this urge to wrap her around my arms whenever she is hurt. I don't want this unrequited love but I have no idea how I should stop because every time I tried, I just found myself falling even deeper.

After a while, I heard a knock on my door. I took a deep breath first before opening the door.

"Why?" I asked Ava who is now standing in front of my room holding Aaliyah's gift.

"Just accept it. You don't have to eat it but at least have some decency. You can just simply accept the gift so you won't hurt Aaliyah's feelings," she nagged. I let out a huge breath and then took the box from her hand.

"How is she?" I asked and I sounded too worried.

"She stopped crying. She probably sleeping right now," she responded and I nod my head at her.

"You should sleep too Ava," I uttered. She smiled at me and then nod her head as well before walking back to her room. I shut the door close then walked towards my bed and laid my body on it.

I stared at the ceiling but my head was blank and I couldn't think of anything. I forced myself to sleep but my body doesn't seem tired to take a rest so I decided to walk toward our kitchen to grab a few more drinks. Maybe liquor can put me to sleep.

I sat at our island bar holding a glass full of whiskey. While I am in the middle of making myself drunk I heard footsteps walking towards the kitchen door. I turned my head on it and that is when I met her eyes.

"I-I will j-just g-get some w-water," she uttered stuttering. I nod my head then looked away and continued sipping on the glass that I am holding. After a while, I felt the urge to ask the question that I had been holding back for a few years.

"How can I unlove you, Aaliyah?" I asked then looked at her eyes intently. She stared at me then after a while the glass slipped on her hands and it fell on the floor creating a loud sound but that didn't even break off our stare.

"Tell me how I can unlove you because I am tired of dealing with this stupid feeling of mine," I uttered and I sounded like I am begging for something. She remained quiet having no idea how to respond to the words that I blurted out.

"I don't know," she spoke after a while, and tears cascaded down her face again.

"I don't know Carson," she repeated while she shook her head and looked at me painfully.

"Why did I have to fall for you when you can't even catch me?" I asked and I felt tears forming in the corner of my eyes.

"Tell me how I can unlove you Aaliyah because I am tired of dealing with this pain," I pleaded as tears fell from my eyes continuously.

"If I can't have you then help me to unlove you," I kept on begging and all I can hear is her sorry.