I was pretty sure that my ordeal was to stay away from my partners and live my pregnancy without them. Before them, I had not known love and I had quickly become dependent on them. Having to stay away from them hurts me deep inside. I wanted to cry, curl up in a ball and let myself be carried away by my sadness, but I couldn't. Despite everything I had been through, I had no right to be selfish, I had no right to let myself get down, to feel sorry for myself. I was angry with my mother for subjecting me to this ordeal, despite everything I had been through. I had only known hatred and violence. So, for love to be brutally taken away from me after having known it so little was cruel. My mother had told me that she was sorry for what I was going to have to go through, but that it was necessa
