Hapuch's Diary

Forced out of my shell

PRESENT TIME. 

I was seated in front of the dressing table, staring blankly at the mirror with downturned lips and shrivelled palms on the disarrayed table. 

On the table, was the flower-scenting moisturizer which laid untouched by the sunscreen. I had no dress on except for the fluffy lilac towel, tied loosely around my chest. 

I didn't know how long I'd been here, however, the brightness of the room proved that it was almost noon. My skin was dry and my fairly damp hair fell on my shoulders and below. Therefore, it was safe to say that, I spent all morning, in the bathroom. 

All the while, I was overwhelmed with thoughts of the events that led me to my messed up life. Not only did I lie to my parents, I got rejected from all the universities I applied in. 

How would I survive this? 

What are the odds? I calculated, "tell mom and dad the truth, they will be offended, disappointed. What else, um- they might not speak with you for some time." 

I grunted angrily, stood up and moved to the closet, "and then what." I queried myself harshly, "they'll forgive you and move on as if nothing happened?" I paused. "Keren, you must be sick to think that. They're going through a lot already. You'll only complicate matters?" 

I slouched into my bed and buried my head between my legs. "What should I do? I can't apply again with a bad GPA. OMG! This isn't happening." 

After some seconds of thought, "Wait, Mom will definitely bring me to Israel!" I let out a sad chuckle. "I can't even apply there without a good GPA." 

I rubbed on my puffy eyes pushing my two hands backwards to my hair. My heart was hurting and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I laid back on the bed for hours, thinking the same thoughts over and over again, however, I made sure to wish I had made better decisions. 

(Next Day) 

I was in the middle of the garden watering heads of parsley and mint, when his voice, interrupted my distant thoughts. 

"Hi, Keren." 

My heart pounded almost wriggling out of my chest. These days, panic attacks were frequent and annoying. My hid-eye caught sight of Mr Anton coming towards me. 

"So early in the morning!" I grumbled under my breath, "what will I say to him?" I dropped the watering-can and freed my hands from the gardening gloves. Turning towards him, I greeted. 

"Hi, Mr Anton." 

His face wrinkled as he grinned, stepping closer to the garden fence. The morning sun reflected on his bald, as 80 per cent of his head was hairless, except for blonde stubbles above his lips. Mr Anton was petite, without a doubt gene was powerful for he was Babette's Dad. 

He was a coolheaded and hardworking man, however, his drinking habit brought strains to his family. His wife, Valerie, would complain bitterly, resulting in frequent fightings. I was grateful he was sober and free from alcohol smell today. 

"You're doing a good job here, you know," He glanced at the garden for a moment. 

"Oh, this." I pointed to the leaves, "I'm really bad at nurturing them." 

"Are you kidding me!" He laughed. "I see you most morning, caring for this leaves. I must say, It's impressive." 

"Thank you." 

Mrs Valerie waved at me from her pavement, before cleaning her bicycle. I waved back with a gentle smile. 

"See you later Keren, I have to run along," Anton concluded. 

"Have a great day, sir." I watched him walk away with his tiny shadow beside him. His gingham extra-large long-sleeved shirt was tucked into a pair of jeans; this gave him a proactive look. In any case, I was grateful he said nothing about college. 

Hours later, I trudged to the old refrigerator. It was scanty, with few bottles of milk and other beverages. I stretched my hands to the pack of cereal and poured it into my favourite white china. 

After a short brittle sound of flakes drop, it stopped. "s**t!" My face tightened "It's finished!" 

I looked furiously at the handful of cereal, "what am I going to do with this, now?" 

I was dejected and spiteful as if the cereal disappeared. When in fact, ever since the night Addison brought me home, five days now; I had eaten the leftover apples and cereals. 

I had the money, the time, and the market was close by; as stupid as it seemed, I was helpless. Getting out of my shell was harder than climbing a mountain. 

It was unlikely that I won't see my mates or just anyone who wouldn't ask me about college. Nevertheless, I was hungry and in dare need of a quick meal.

Thank you so much for your support ❣️❣️