Tears of love

8. Honey underneath the passion.

CHAPTER 8: Honey underneath the passion.

“Thanks for teaching me, really," Ryan murmurs, standing in my driveway, about to leave.

“No problem” I tell him nonchalantly. “It was nothing, really.”

He smiles at me almost sheepishly, his cheeks flushing a little.

“See you Thursday in class, Rora.”

“Take care” I say goodbye and stare at him until he gets into his car and finally drives off.

Ryan is adorable, sincere and blushes shyly. I like him, I like him as a friend and I fervently hope that our friendship becomes closer every day. I have a feeling he will be a good friend.

I dawdle a bit with the flurry of pictures I've taken in the last month to pass the afternoon. My brother is at classes, Sadie is at work and I don't feel ready to see Jeremy. I rode the bus to class today to avoid him. And I just don't want to give in to him. I don't want to feel that turmoil of feelings that make me weak and vulnerable in his presence.

And then there's a knock on the door, I pop a last of the chocolate in my mouth and walk to the door. I usually resent being interrupted when I'm concentrating on my photographs, but as I open the door and see that it's Jeremy, my annoyance increases.

In me lies the hope that maybe getting away from him will quench my thirst for him a little, but Jer incredibly won't let me do it. Why does he insist on looking for me, when it's obvious that if we're together we'll end up doing something we'll regret?

“What are you doing here?” I ask him in a whisper, holding his gaze and without allowing him to enter the house..

His eyes look at me, his brow furrowed.

“He's already left.”

It's not a question, it's a statement. It's also obvious he's referring to Ryan.

“Jer...”

“What did you guys do?”

“Why do you want to know that?”

“Rora, please...”

I sigh and step aside, letting him pass.

Seriously, what are we doing?

I feel him coming after me, until he catches my wrist and turns me around, making me face him.

It's funny how even though I don't want him around because I know he hurts my heart, at the same time I also long for him, miss him. He gives me a variety of contradictory and unreasonable feelings about each other, that I feel like I'm freaking out.

“Rora, I don't understand any of this, okay? You think I'm not confused? You think I'm not scared? But these... these cravings for you are driving me crazy. I want you and I...”

“You what?”

“It drives me crazy to think that someone else could touch you the way I did” he rests his forehead on mine, “it drives me crazy to imagine what you did all afternoon with that boy here, alone in your house. It drives me crazy to imagine that someone else could reach under your jeans, then under your panties and touch that soft, wet skin...”

“Jeremy” I sigh his name, more than anything I savor it, a tremor invades my body as his hands start to slowly move down my arms in a caress so soft, so delicate.

“And I can't stop thinking about that night, about what your brother's call kept me from doing and... Jesus, Rora... I...” he pulls me back, until he has me leaning against the wall, his eyes are dark as they meet mine. “I don't know what I feel, because it's you, Rora, my butterfly... but then...”

“Then...” I whisper, closing my eyes as his lips leave a wet kiss on my neck.

“Then your whole f*****g body is driving me crazy and I keep dreaming of what the expression on your face would be as you cum... on my fingers, on my tongue, on my cock.”

“God...” my fingers sink into his hair as sloppy kisses are left on my neck, he nibbles a little on the soft skin and then eases the pain with his tongue.

It has me quivering with lust, a shiver of desire travels down my spine and I wonder if anyone can die from this, from the anticipation, from the desire, from the need to be consumed.

I've never felt this desire before, never been talked to this dirty and never been made wet with the ease with which Jeremy gets me to do it.

It's as if all my previous experiences pale in comparison to this, with every slightest touch he leaves on my skin, the imprint of his mark on my body.

I let all the air out of my mouth as his thumb moves across my hardened n****e, then catches it next to his index finger and twists almost painfully at the tiny button, sending a jolt of passion from my feet to my brain.

“Jer” I moan, sinking my nails into his forearms, clinging to something, making sure I keep something still holding me to the earth.

“If I ask you” he sighs shakily against my neck, his erection pressed against my belly and growling against my skin before continuing: “If I ask you to let me finish what we started the other night, would you let me?”

I lick my lips and struggle for an answer.

I don't even know what's going to come out of my mouth, I'm too lost in the liquid desire coursing through my veins, but before I can speak, Jer pulls back and whispers, "Shit.”

"What?"

“Your brother's car, he just pulled up.”

“s**t," I repeat and let my hair down, making sure to cover my neck in case there are traces of his kisses on my skin.

Jeremy adjusts his erection and rushes over to the TV to turn it on. Just as he puts a cushion in his lap, Tyler walks in, looking tired.

“Hi," I say, perhaps a little too cheerfully.

My brother barely looks at me, his eyes go straight to Jer who is watching a game on the TV right now.

“Did you come to watch the game?” Ty asks, joining Jeremy on the couch.

“Sure” Jer responds very confidently and soon the two are engaged in conversation while watching the screen.

“Little Rora, call Sadie” Tyler yells at me, “you know she's missing.”

I relax immediately, remembering that they always need the presence of us by their side, something about bringing them good luck.

“She's working, you i***t” I remind him.

Tyler grunts a curse.

“We'll lose because of her, I'm telling you.”

“Don't be superstitious, Ty," Jer tells him.

“I'm telling you, we're going to lose.”

“Don't be an i***t” and I go behind him to give him a playful smack upside the head.

“Stop calling me an i***t, rather call your best friend and force her to come over here.”

“I won't, you do it.”

“Last night she blocked me, I can't.”

I roll my eyes, drop down in the middle of both of them and tell him “I wonder why.”

“I was just sending her funny videos.”

“Three o'clock in the morning.”

“I couldn't sleep.”

“So she couldn't either?”

“She's my rival, we have to be on equal footing.”

Nothing he says makes sense, but I stop arguing with him because his eyes are already focused on the TV. When I feel Jer's eyes fixed on me, I turn my face towards him and he smiles at me. His eyes are soft and more than the fire that was in them before my brother came in, there is affection, reminding me of who we are behind this newfound lust. I smile back at him and he rests his head on my shoulder, as always happens when we watch a game.

And just like that, it's back to being just him and me... the same as always.