His Missing Luna

CHAPTER 57

AMERIE/JESSICA

REJECTED

I can’t help it. I know I shouldn’t be feeling disappointed. It’s not that he rejected me as his mate. But I feel rejected. He didn’t want me to touch him. I was only trying to help. Did he do so because he feels I wouldn’t know how to do it? Not that I even know what to do. It’s my first time seeing a man’s privates.

But he said I made him hard, and that should have counted for something. He could have shown me what to do. Everyone is a novice at something initially. I couldn’t look at him when he came in for dinner. Even when he pulled me close to him, I still couldn’t shake off the feeling of being rejected.

My self-esteem has never been hit like this. With Kizziah and his family, I knew they didn’t love me. With Nathan, it’s different. He said he is my mate and has shown me care and love since we met. Yet, it hurts at his rejection.

“Flower.”

My head whips to him standing at the door of the pack house. I didn’t plan on where to go. I just wanted to be away from there while he was arguing with Cara.

“Why did you leave?” he asks as he leaves the door, coming to me.

“I…I…I needed some fresh air,” I lie, biting my lips and fidgeting. My eyes drop to the floor.

He stops in front of me and pockets his hands in his jeans pockets. “Are you mad at me because of what happened earlier?”

I shake my head, still looking at the floor.

“Look at me, flower,” he says in a gentle tone. “Please.”

My head slowly lifts to his face, but I am looking behind him. Not at his face.

“My eyes are here,” he says, pulling my head to align our eyes. “What are you feeling?” His eyes are full of sincerity. “Tell me.”

“Nothing,” I lie when I want to yell, ‘I feel rejected and miserable.’

“I want the truth, flower. I don’t want us to keep anything from each other. I won’t ever hide anything from you. So, I want you to do the same with me.”

“I feel rejected,” I mutter.

“Why?”

I look away to his left where a star twinkles in the sky. “Why did you ask me to leave? You didn’t want me to touch you?”

He sighs deeply and embraces me. “That’s far from the truth. I am sorry if you feel rejected. It wasn’t my intention,” he raises my chin up with a finger. “I will always want you to touch me. You’re my mate. It’s your right to touch me, and when the time is right, you can touch me as much as you want,” he gives me his signature forehead kiss and continues, “Until we are proclaimed as mates before the Council, I can’t touch you. Or allow you to get so… so… to become like you were at the hospital.”

His eyes grow hard, and his jaw clenches.

“If you become aroused, I will have no choice but to take you, Jessica. Of course, it is my dream, but not at the expense of losing you, my pack, and my reputation.”

I am so stupid. How could I have thought that he didn’t want me? I mean, look at all the things he has done for me.

I rise on my toes and plant a quick kiss on his lips, pulling back to see the surprise in his eyes. “I am sorry for thinking you were rejecting me. That you didn’t want me to touch you.”

He plants a kiss on my lips too. “At least we can kiss,” he tugs at my lips with his thumb and forefinger. “I can make do with that until you shift.”

My frown catches his attention, and before he speaks, I do. “Do you think Kizziah is telling the truth about my birthday?”

“Let’s hope so. However, I asked Tyler to ask around the other packs for news of a missing girl. He hasn’t been successful with the search, but we are not giving up. We will find your folks.”

“Thank you,” I kiss his cheek. “You’re the best thing that has happened to me. You have done so much for me, and I have done nothing for you.”

He turns me around to back his chest and wraps his hands around my waist. I do the same over his arms. “Look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

My eyes look up to the sky. The lone star is the only thing up there. “A lone star.”

“A lone star in this wide expanse of sky,” he affirms. “Something small in size, yet big in how it beautifies and shapes the sky.”

“I don’t get it,” I laugh, looking back at him.

He drops another kiss on my turned cheek. “You are the star, and I am the sky. I have the name, lands, men, wealth, and power. You have nothing according to you, but you are the one thing that beautifies and shapes me, Jessica.”

I frown and feel him turn me around to face him. “You beautify every part of my life. Your smile, voice, face, words, and actions. Every day spent with you is making me a better man and alpha. That’s how you’re shaping me, my flower. Don’t ever think you have nothing to offer me.”