Devilish Taste

Pretty soul to love

Are you ready sis?" Stanley pops his head at my door, and I nod my head at him.

"I'll be out in the living room waiting for you."

He closes my door, as I continue straightening my shoulder length hair with my flat iron. I didn't go overboard with my outfit as I stare at myself in the mirror. I had on a flowing black and white dress that stop after my knees, my purse was a small over the shoulder bag so I won't be needing anything besides my wallet, phone and keys. I crouch down, pulling my black pumps out the closet to squeeze it in and shower myself with my perfume. I walk out my room and head to Stanley in the living room.

"You know you sometimes look like her, the way you smile and dress." Stanley whisper watching me. He had a slight smile on him as he took in my image. I smile, saying thank you as we made our way to the funeral. While Stanley drove, I got a text message from my girls Ashely and Tasha says they will see me there, they also gave me a motivational speech about being strong. Monica wasn't in the group chat anymore, as Ashely quickly block her on the chat the same night we confronted her at the game.

"We're here." Stanley voice pipe out. We both got out the car heading over to the entrance. We got there a little early, because we wanted to help out our parents with anything they need. We open the door, heading inside the church, walking towards our parent office in the back. We knock on the door and my father's voice yells come in. We both enter with me behind Stanley.

"Good morning Pastor." Stanley and I said at the same time, he gets up from his seat and walk over to us staring at both our faces. My father did something I never thought he'll do in years.

He hugs both Stanley and I, letting his cologne drug us. Stanley and I look over at each other with our eyebrows up in a confusing matter. It felt awkward, this was the first time in years he hugged us, and when he did choose to do it, is when one of his children pass away, how thoughtful I said with a sarcastic voice to myself. We stay like this for about a few minutes longer, until Stanley chooses to interrupt this awkward moment.

"Pastor-"

"Son, today just today, you guys can call me dad." He said smiling at us. He takes a step back, letting his hands into his pockets. Stanley scratch the back of his head, while I avoid his eyes. Today, out of all days we can finally call him dad? What has the world become now?

"You look so much like her right now, baby girl. You look so beautiful by the way." Dad admits watching me. He chuckles turning around heading back to his desk.

"Do you and mom need any help before the services start?" I ask him. The energy I felt was so off. I didn't want to be in here anymore. My father and I never spent time together, hell we never spent more than fifth-teen minutes in a room together.

"Your mother is baking cookies in the kitchen if you want to go help." He answers my question. I nod my head feeling a little better. As I turn the knob of the door and head my way towards my mother, my dad speaks up.

"Stanley do you mind staying with me to talk? Ashanti baby girl, I was wondering if you can speak at the service, you know, do your poetry thing that you love to do. If you can't it's okay, I just thought your mother would love that since she's been down a lot and hasn't been herself." Dad caught me off guard. Speak at the funeral, me? I didn't know what to say. I haven't write or perform since I finish college and came back down here. I've been so busy with everything that I didn't have time to express my words into paper. He continues to watch me, waiting for my answer. Stanley smiles, shaking his head up and down, motioning a yes.

"Okay." I quickly head out, not wanting to see dad anymore. I didn't think dad would remember my love for poetry. Great, what the hell was I going to say at my sister's funeral. I glance at my phone to check the time to see I had less than thirty minutes before the service starts. I'm going to freestyle in front of everyone basically, I groan, making my way to the church kitchen.

"Mom?" I call out.

"I'm right here, baby girl." She calls out, and I walk where she was placing the tray of cookies into the oven. I look around the kitchen and stop as I saw a bunch of cookie baskets with pink ribbons tie on them everywhere in the kitchen counter.

"Mom, you baked all of this?" I said, stealing a cookie from one of the baskets. Right when I was about to munch on one, mom came and snatch the cookie from my hand eating it for herself. She smiles playfully, humming to herself. I playfully roll my eye's on her.

"No, I didn't bake all of this. There were people here earlier helping me bake this, they went back home to get ready." She said pressing the buttons to turn on the oven.

"Why didn't you ask one of us to help you? We've been trying to help you and dad all this week. You know I hate when you're like this, you avoid everyone and think you're the only person that can deal with these problems when it's actually not true. Do you know how hurt Stanley, Jessica and I are?" I ask her seriously. It wasn't fair that she can ask help from anyone else, so easily then to ignore her kids.

"I honestly didn't want you guys helping me."

Ouch, okay that hurt. I decide not to get upset over this, since today was Angelica day. Knowing her she would want her family to get along.

"It's not like I'm avoiding you kids, it's just you all remind me of her, especially you Ashanti. Even though Jessica and Angelica are twins, you mostly remind me of her with your personality and laugh. I just wouldn't be able to take it lightly with you giving me a reflection of Angelica, while we're dealing with her death."

"Okay mom." I said keeping my feelings in neutral. I shake my head not wanting to be around here anymore. This was going to be a long day.

"You know what would make my day? You doing your poetry words for the service." Mom smile at me, her eyes twinkle and I can tell she wasn't faking it this time. She walks up to me grabbing my hand, staring right in my eye using her puppy dog eye's.

"Sure mom, I'll think of something to say before I get up there." I groan to myself as people were now coming into the church. A bunch of kids ran inside the kitchen smelling the cookies. I smile as a little girl ran in the back while the big kids were running in front, she couldn't keep up with the big kids. She began crying when a little boy that was slightly bigger than her snatch her cookie.

"Don't worry beautiful, here you go." I said to the little girl who's face were filled with tears. She smiles at me showing her missing tooth. That made my day watching her stop crying and give me a big toothless smile.

"You great with kids. I use to love watching you play with them. I still have dreams that one day you'll carry my seed." A voice behind me speak. I turn running into Jerome. My first thought was to slap him in the face for disrespecting me on the phone the other day, But I knew better than to try it here. By then the little girl was long gone. I examine my surroundings to see it was now Jerome and I alone in the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, you have no idea how sorry I am baby. I can explain everything to you over dinner tonight if you want." He said sincerely.

I didn't have the energy to play his game. I didn't have the energy to tell him I'm not his baby or I wasn't his anymore. I didn't say anything as I sigh in defeat. It's my damn sister's funeral, and by the looks of it, he only came to see me and not even respect my dead sister.

"Ashanti?" He calls out to me. He begins walking up to me slowly watching me with caution. I stood there thinking what should I say.

"Let me take you out baby. Remember when we couldn't afford to go out to those restaurants back then? Well I can take you now. I love you, I always have and always will. You stood by me even when I didn't have s**t. You were loyal to me when I couldn't buy you the things you wanted. You stood by my side through thick and thin." He smiles, taking a piece of my hair that came on my face and brush it against my ear. He smiles at me with his eye's swirling with love. Everything he just told me was sweet, but it did nothing to me. I couldn't take it any longer.

"Who's the girl that was calling you J? Was it Monica?" Jerome stood there as his face turn upside down into a frown. He looks lost in thoughts as he never responds to my first two questions. I shake my head not waiting to hear any more of his secrets or lies anymore.

"Why are you in a gang? Were you always in a gang, or you join once I left for college? Is that how you were able to buy me things back then, with illegal money? Back then when I use to tell you how proud I was for you, it was really the illegal money that you were gifting me in." I chuckle watching his facial expression go crazy. He opens his mouth multiple times with nothing to say to me. I wanted Jerome so badly to tell me I was wrong that he wasn't in a gang, and that he gotten a legal job making money, but the more he stayed quietly the more anxious build up on me.

"Ashanti, please if that nigga is telling you things-"

"I want your answer Jerome! Why are you bringing him up? I'm asking you not him."

"Look I don't have anything to say to you, believe what you want. Will you go out to dinner with me tonight?" He informs me, I shake my head.

"I'm done with you and your secrets. We not even together and I feel drained with all this bullshit. What is wrong with you? Then you come to my sister's funeral saying you love me when I'm over here upset that someone I love will never come back. You don't love me, you're with my best friend, you have a woman calling you J while you're trying to sweet talk me on the phone. You keep disrespecting, and yet you haven't learn your lesson. This is ridiculous." I yell out in frustration. Jerome lowers his head down while I message my temple that was beginning to form a migraine.

Jerome doesn't say anything and with that I walk out the kitchen as I hear the service playing music. I walk in hunting for my brother, but instead I found Ashely and Tasha walking together from the entrance. I wave my hand, trying to get their attention. Once they spotted me they hurry over to me hugging me. We took our seats at the front with myself sitting next to my siblings while they sat behind me.

The casket had a nice big, vibrant flower standing next to it with Angelica name on it. It also displays a portrait of Angelica recent picture before she passed away.

After a few minutes, Jerome walks in catching my attention and I roll my eyes at him. The girls gave me a questionable look and I turn to whisper to them that I will tell them later.

The music dies down as people were beginning to chat around with others. My mother came in after greeting with everyone, and sat next to us kissing our forehead in the process. Dad and other pastors walk in together and onto the stage as people cut down.

"Welcome to another beautiful service. Today, as you know we come here to celebrate a life that our God have called to come home. We must not be saddened over this death, but instead celebrate that her journey has been accomplished! Even though she may not have completed her goals, but God gave each and every one a journey and a purpose. Angelica purpose couldn't have been something way different than what she expected, but that's alright because whatever may have been bothering her, she is at ease now." One of the three pastors said into the microphone. Everyone cheer, clapping their hands, screaming amen.

Stanley and Jessica stayed quiet staring at the closed coffin, while mom began tearing up behind her large sunglasses. The pastor that I didn't know his name continue to preach loud and strong grabbing peoples attention. Some people began catching the holy ghost and I giggle to myself as they look like they're were possessed. I rub my mom back softly, giving her as much comfort as I can.

After each pastor including my father preach out their heart, a short music video on a projector was presented to the audience. That caught not only my surprise, but Jessica and Stanley. The lights dim a little for everyone to see clearly as the video began playing. I gasp, it was pictures of all of us, including Angelica when we were younger. The pictures mostly focus on Angelica of course, but it also had family pictures showing. I tear up with a heartfelt smile as embarrassing pictures were popping up. The audience laugh at some of the pictures the video was presented.

At the end of the video was a clip from our younger days as we were singing happy birthday to Angelica. Angelica younger self was excited grinning wide with her front two teeth missing. As my family continues to sing happy birthday to her, she quickly got on top of the table with the help of my father, and scream waits.

"Wait you guys!" The young Angelica yelled.

"What is wrong sweetie." My mom in the video said. As everyone in the room stops singing.

"Why is it my happy birthday?" She asks, and all the grown folks laugh at her.

"On this day God gave you a beautiful soul to love, and so we must celebrate it every year, because that is the day you can feel like a princess." My dad in the video said kissing the back of the head to a smiling Angelica.

"But wait, if God gave me a pretty soul to love, then does it mean he gave you all a heart to love me enough to sing this song?" She said with her big eyes glancing at everyone.

The whole church awe in happiness as the video ended. I shed tears out of control as the lights on the church brighten up, and I look over to Stanley as he holds Jessica in his arm as Jessica began sobbing uncontrollably. Mom knee down in front of her as she couldn't take it any longer. I pop up where dad stood, watching us bawl our eyes out. Tears were beginning to form in his eye's as the whole audience were now dead silent. The only thing you can hear is people weeping, and others calling for Angelica.

After a few minutes after everything dies down, one of the pastors walk up to the podium speaking into the microphone.

"To end the service, we will now have Pastor Richard and Caitlyn William daughter Ashanti come and perform her poetry." He said waiting for me to come up. I took a deep breath walking slow towards the pastor who held the microphone out to me. I didn't think of anything to say, I was going to let my heart speak out, and I hope the words that will come out my mouth will be tolerable. I grab the microphone, giving the pastor a shy smile and I heard clapping and my name shouting from the audience as I prepare myself to speak.

I ask someone to put Angelica picture up, as the light dim and everyone began quietly down. I open my mouth to begin.

"Pretty soul to love

I will always cherish your love.

Don't ever think you may disappear from my heart

When my heart bleeds your name in blood.

Sister's for life, no one will ever question that.

Different times I wish you were here,

Selfish ways that turn into fears.

If only I could of have you back

So my heart won't continue to crack.

Just for those moments I can tell you I love you

Maybe God can cancel your invitation to Heaven

I will be able to feel your presence

So I can wake up from my nightmare,

To express my feelings for you.

But I wasn't ready to say goodbye,

At the site of you

My soul would of turn blind.

I will continue to grind until I see you up there.

Maybe then God won't ever split us

Cause our souls were entwine from the start,

Merging one another to become a heart.

Angelica oh Angelica!

I can feel you near me

Can't help but tear up

that God taken you away.

Pretty soul to love

I will continue to love

Don't think just for a second

I'll forget you were my blessing.

I'll continue to talk to you

As if you were still here.

Because no one will ever

Will take your spot.

No one will ever have a pretty soul as you,

My heart won't be fix until I see you.

Until we meet again

I know my soul will be close to you again.

I love you."