Trapped

Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty Three:

 This isn’t how it’s supposed to be, part two.

»»—♡—««

look at you, 

you are a woman, 

so fierce and strong 

and wild and free 

and so much more than 

just a “she” on a piece of paper

― floribel

»»—♡—««

Everyone is going to disappoint you.

There is no hiding the fact that eventually there are people who would just end up disappointing you no matter how much you trust them. No matter how you believed in them that they weren't going to hurt you. They will just end up stabbing you.

Some in the back and others in the front.

It would hurt less if I had been stabbed right in the front. I would very much likely prefer that way. Instead of someone stabbing me in the back without my full knowledge wherein I didn’t even expect it that they would do such a thing.

Not that stabbing in the back correlates to knowing when and where it would happen. But I wished I knew and I wished I had listened to my gut feeling.

In that way, I wouldn’t have ended up getting disappointed.

»»—♡—««

[Five months earlier]

I was fuming mad.

To say that I was angry would be an understatement. I was beyond mad and my mind was already on the verge of doing inexplicably bad.

But I tried to focus on simmering down the anger boiling inside of me. I know that it wouldn't do me any good so I had to let go of that.

My teeth were gritted and I was clutching at the file in my hand too tight that my knuckles were white. And I think I was glaring at Mrs. Evans right now. If that’s true, I have no way to confirm it since she had her eyes on her phone.

Like she always does.

It had always been clear to us that she didn't care about any of us.

And I stood there, I still didn’t know what to do. If I should just leave and accept her decision or if I should talk it out of her so she’ll agree. My mind was too focused on her reply and how much it had caused me pain.

It was as though all my hard work and all the effort I had exerted for that project were just nothing but a worthless thing to do. All the sleepless nights that I had to bear and still go to work as if I didn’t pull an all-nighter for consecutive days already. I was on the verge of tears as I had remembered all the sacrifices I made in order to finish the project proposal and here I am, rejected by Mrs. Evans even though she hasn't even taken a look at it.

It would have been much nicer if she had pretended to read it then rejected my proposal. However, she just blatantly rejected it as soon as I mentioned the Project Selection Month. I thought she would be proud since not everyone was volunteering to take part in that.

“You’re still here?” Mrs. Evans uttered and I raised my head towards her direction. I swallowed the lump in my throat, ready to give her a response but she spoke again. “I thought we were already done talking.” She added, dismissing me once again.

I shake my head as a sign of disapproval. “I’m still not done talking to you, Mrs. Evans.” I utter with utmost respect. “Can you at least read it first before you make a decision?” I suggested it to her, holding the file mid-air and pushing it to her direction. My voice was laced with much desperation and I’m pretty sure that she noticed that too. 

This is very important to me and I’d do everything I could in order to submit the proposal. And even my manager couldn’t stop me from achieving that.

She let out a deep sigh, “Ms. Quinn, I’m done talking to you.” She grunted, emphasizing the last word. “Besides, there’s nothing to talk about. I am rejecting your proposal because you’re not skilled and experienced enough to submit one. Do you understand?” Mrs. Evans snapped, her voice showing a hint of annoyance. She had thrown the words at me as if it didn't mean anything to her. That she didn’t mind that what was coming out of her mouth was hurting me in all possible ways.

Or maybe that's her intention.

Maybe she said those things because she feels threatened by me?

I know my capabilities and I know my skills. I may not be experienced enough since I just started working but that doesn’t mean that I am not knowledgeable enough to submit a project proposal. She should be aware of that. Not because the founder of Lucian Corporation is my grandfather, that gave me a free pass to where I am now.

I worked damn hard to apply for this company and it was hard to pass the exams and the interviews. Every employee knew that since my grandfather’s standards are high. He expects the best out of everyone. So I am clearly wondering how the hell this woman in front of me got hired in this well respected company?

She isn't even fit to be a product manager. 

All she ever does is to be unproductive, inefficient and do useless things in the office and this company pays her to do that? Not even the bare minimum?

The anger was rising inside me. I couldn’t hold it back anymore and I had already lost every ounce of respect I have for her the moment that she had disrespected me when I was assigned to her team.

“You’re Mr. Viktor Luciano’s granddaughter, right? What does it feel like to have a free pass in joining this company?”

Those were the very words she had spoken to me as soon as we had introduced to her team. She didn’t even mind that there were other people in the room who might’ve heard her. At that moment I felt ashamed. But now it is different, I should’ve stood up for myself that time. I should’ve answered back at her even though she was my superior and much older than me.

Respect begets respect.

If a person doesn’t respect me, they don't have the right to be respected back.