Soon To Be His Luna

Are you asking me if I am a virgin?

-Ella

I am in the kitchen, in middle of the night, browsing through the fridge to find something to eat.

My stomach has been growling since the second I lied down but I ignored my hunger.

Our cook, Daisy, hasn't left much to eat, which surprises me.

Probably because of the wedding - I thought to myself.

There's an egg salad, hidden behind a jar of marmalade. Perfect!

This one is homemade and it's literally the best egg salad I've ever had. I don't know what ingredients are used to make it; our dear Daisy says it's a family recipe and shall only be passed on to her children, if she ever gets married.

I take it out of the fridge and look around to find some toast and then try and find the toaster. It's the only way I eat it.

Not long after, I found the toaster and let the toast in for two minutes, which then popped out and it looked delicious.

There's also avocado - I can use it instead of butter.

After mixing everything up on my toast, I finally have a bite.

"Mmmm," I moaned a little too loud for this time of night.

I finished it quickly and put everything back to its place, as if to not leave traces; I innerly giggled.

"Water!" I whispered to myself and took a big glass, filled it up and drank it all up.

I put it on the sink and before I left, another person came in the kitchen and to my surprise, I knew who it was.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Hey," I replied and walked away.

"Uhm, Ella?" I stopped dead and realized, that it was his first time mentioning my name.

"Yes?"

"Could you show me where you keep the toast, before you leave?"

"Of course."

I thought he would ask me to stay; I am a little disappointed.

My lips curved unwillingly from anger.

"Why are you up?" He asked me and I felt his eyes piercing my skin.

"Couldn't sleep because I was hungry."

"I see."

"Can I ask you a question?" My mouth spoke before I could stop it.

"It's been dreading me since the minute I found out about it. Why isn't it bothering you, that you and I are getting married? You know, we won't ever be able to find our mates, if we get married," my fear finally exposed to his ears.

He stared blankly at me and after a few seconds he replied,"Because it is my duty to protect my Pack, no matter the consequences. After all, I've never been interested in finding my mate."

"Never?!" My voice higher than intended.

He shook his head and looked down at his fingers.

"I suppose you've heard what is said about my Pack?" he asked, but I haven't heard a thing, from anyone. Well, except for my little sister who called them savages.

"In our Pack, finding one's mate is not important. Protecting one another from enemies, keeping our cities and villages safe," he stopped and then continued," that's what's important to us. Not fairytales and claims."

How could he say that? That is in our foundation! Mates were made especially for us, and they are throwing it away, just because of protection?

"I can see you're judging me. If we find our true mates, we won't be able to die for our Pack, because we will want to live a long life alongside our mate and we cannot have that. It's of course not against the rules, those who find their mates, are given less life-threatening jobs."

"What's the purpose of living without love? Do you marry other people who aren't your mates?"

"We do. Contract marriages are most common, but not like ours. We are marrying to bring peace between our families, the others, in my Pack, they ask the fathers permission to marry their daughters; instead of finding the true mate."

"That is cruel," I mouthed and in the first time, I saw Xander smile. He looks so beautiful.

"That does not come even close to what happens to some of us. My father had it done to me and my brothers."

"What? Oh my God, did he make you sterile so you won't have children?"

Xander looked at me confused and surprised and finally burst into laughter.

Wow. Xander laughing. That's another hot point on his favour.

"That's not what happened, no. Either way, one of our main purpose is to have children - so the bloodline continues."

"Of course," I turned red under his gaze.

"Do you also get circumcised?"

Fuck! I should not ask these questions, it's so embarrassing.

"We do. Every man in our Pack must get circumcised. Hygiene," he pointed out and I nodded.

"What about you? Have you ever had a boyfriend?"

I scoffed.

"Nooo. I have been waiting for my mate, you see."

"You?" I asked and he placed his elbows on the table, making his biceps looks bigger. I swallowed and quickly looked somewhere else.

"No. I was never interested in having a romantic relationship."

Oh.

"What about other stuff?" I asked and he arched his eyebrow.

"Are you asking me if I am a virgin?"

"Ooh. . . Uh - I didn't. . . May --be?"

He smiled and took a deep breath before he talked,"Yes, I am."

Oh f**k. f**k.

This man, has never had s*x? I thought it was normal for men to kid around.

"Surprised?"

"Yes, indeed I am."

He nodded and I finally put the toast on the table.

"Thank you, for opening up to me," I genuinely said.

"We are about to get married, so I didn't see the point in lying. You'll hear it from others as well. Might as well tell you the truth, before you make any assumptions."

That's what this all was? Just because we are getting married? Not because he wanted to bond with me, what so ever?

I hate this. Not knowing if someone is being honest with you, or bonding with you. In my mind I was certainly bonding with him, but he just . . .

I backed away from the table and he was staring at me.

"Are you alright?"

It took me a few minutes, before I could talk again.

"Yes."

Now it just dawned on me, that he didn't tell me, what his father had done to him and his brothers and I ask him.

"Oh right, right. How about I tell you another time?"

"Why?" I asked, disappointment clearly in my voice.

"How about I tell you after we get married. As a wedding present."

I rolled my eyes and left the kitchen without saying goodbye.

He was following me.

"Ella, what did I say?"

"Nothing," I said. I am so frustrated that I want to cry my eyeballs out.

He stopped at the bottom of the stairs while I rushed upstairs.

My life is a nightmare.