The Queen's Forbidden Love

Chapter 16

Claudia's POV:

The second my lips touched the softness of his, I almost pulled away from the kiss. I could tell instantly that these lips were not at all the lips that I wanted to be kissing and it almost made me feel sick in the stomach over it. This is the first I have ever kissed a stranger but that wasn't why I wanted to pull away and rinse my mouth out with mouthwash. It's all because these lips weren't Jovian's and it made me feel disgusted with myself that I would be standing here kissing someone other than him.

I felt the man's lips move, accepting more of the kiss from me and I did what I could to remove the thoughts and the feelings of how I was feeling about all of this and continued with the kiss the best that I could. I even put my hands around his neck so I could pull him to me to help with the feeling of deepening the kiss and in hopes of making this feel a little better for myself. As my hands traveled to his strong shoulders and I moved to request permission to deepen the kiss, his hands went around mine and pulled them away from him. The shock of his movements was enough to pull me away from the kiss. I lowered myself back down on my feet as I took a step back and looked at him in question.

"I can't do this if you're going to make this personal," He responded before I had a chance to question his actions.

"I'm not..." I started to say but he cut me off quickly.

"I love my wife and I love my kids. The only way I will be able to go through with this is if we limit the amount of touching. Can't make it intimate or emotional in any way," He continued to explain to me which filled my heart with warmth for the love he held for his wife.

"Whatever you need in order to get this done," I told him even though I was actually telling myself this to try to get myself to go through with it.

He nodded in acceptance and I could tell that it made him feel a little bit better about all of this. I could tell from our first meeting in the gym that he may have had trouble with this. I can't say I'm not having problems myself because I am. I'm feeling like total s**t about all of this. I hate the way this is making me feel. I hate feeling like some kind of w***e that was picked up for a one-night stand. This made me feel as if I was using him just to get pregnant even though, in reality, that is exactly what I was doing to him.

"Maybe it will be better if you just lay on the bed..." He said as he turned and looked for his shirt.

I walked over to him as he was practically scrambling to grab his shirt so he could put it on. I placed my hand on his bare shoulder, causing him to stop what he was doing and look down at me.

"We don't have to do this," I told him and he appeared relieved yet confused at the same time.

"This is what I was born to do. You found me and chose me for this which means it is now my job to make sure this takes place," He responded.

I gave him a soft smile and nodded. I gave his shoulder a slight squeeze before pulling my hand away and walking towards the door.

"Claudia?" He responded in confusion, causing me to turn and look at him.

"I can't do this to you. You're happily married with a family. I know this is the way it is but for me, I can't do that to you. I can feel the guilt and I can see it all over your face," I told him, feeling more joy myself than he probably was at the idea of not going through with this.

I turned and reached for the door to open it when I felt his hand on my shoulder, stopping me from exiting the room.

"Claudia," He said softly and I turned around to look at him.

"I've only been near one other in this town that has the bloodlines. He's not a good man." He informed me.

"If that is the case, I will be able to handle him," I reassured him but he didn't release his glare.

"I don't just mean one that has had a few small bouts with the law. I mean, he's the real deal. Part of the largest mafia in this town. He's not the leader, just one of the henchmen," He continued to tell me, which caused a little worry to enter my body but I didn't show it.

It's not that the mafia worries me or anything. I have more than enough power to take care of myself. The problem is, that even these men are human. Other than having the bloodlines that are required to continue the royal line, they are 100 percent human. I can't harm them, or should I say, I can't kill them. I am allowed to protect myself but only after they attempt to harm me. I can't just go off of instinct or information given by someone else.

"If he is who you say he is, he won't father the next royal heir," I informed him and he slowly released his hold on my shoulder.

"This is a large town. If you don't find another one suitable for the deed, I will do it," He let me know and I nodded as I smiled at him.

"Thank you," I told him before opening the door and walking out of the room.

---

As I walked down the streets that were lit up by the street lights, all I could think about was what I had almost done. I had almost allowed myself to get pregnant by some guy that I didn't even know the name of. If I had stayed up there, within a few minutes, I would be with child with a man that I didn't know. With a man that I didn't love.

I stopped in my step and put both of my hands to my face as I breathed in deeply. It doesn't matter if I love them or not. That's not the way it works! I need to stop wishing for that true love to come around and I need to stop wishing I could have a baby with my love. It will never happen! Love, I can have love...someday. Just not right now and not with one of these chosen men. I need to just stop trying for something that I can never achieve.

I removed the thoughts from my mind and continued with my walk towards the car that was still sitting in the gym parking lot. As I got closer to the car, I could see with the lights of the parking lot, Bella was nodding her head to the music and lip singing. It brought a smile to my face to see her with so much joy. Her life before now wasn't the greatest and she missed out on a lot but I was glad to see that she still enjoyed the little things in life even though her life had hardly gotten started at the age of 20.

As soon as my motion caught her attention, she quickly turned the car off and got out of the car, walking towards me in a fast stride.

"So? Did it happen?" She asked with joy in her eyes that quickly diminished when she saw the look on my face.

"No," I told her as I walked passed her.

"Why not? He was the best looking one so far!" She exclaimed as she quickened her step to catch back up with me.

"I couldn't go through with it. He's married with a family. The one living in the suburbs." I responded to her but she just gave a look of disbelief.

"You know that I don't believe that at all," She told me and I just shrugged my shoulders as I walked passed her.

"Claudia!" She shouted from behind me but I ignored her as I got to the passenger side door and got in the car.

I looked through the windshield and could see how irritated she was as I put the seatbelt on. She stood there and just stared at me for a few seconds before sighing and walking to the car door to get in.

"You make no sense!" She snapped as she turned the car on.

"You don't know how you would act if you were put in my situation," I told her but she just grumbled to herself as she turned the wheel of the car angrily.

"I know I wouldn't be as childish about all of this as you are being!" She continued to snap.

"Childish? Why because I don't want to have a baby? Because I don't want to sleep with some stranger! Is it so wrong to want to be with someone I want to be with and have their baby instead of being told I have to f**k some stranger just because his genetics is the correct type? It's not fair, Jezabella, and I'm sorry if I act as if I'm fighting all of this. I'm sorry if I appear to be acting like a child and I'm sorry if...maybe for once I just want to do something because it is something that I want and not because I was told I had to or because it was a requirement of my birth and heritage." I snapped back at her.

She stayed silent, only glancing at me once I was done speaking my mind. Saying what I did, didn't make me feel any better. It actually made me feel worse about all of this. This whole arrangement is just dumb. All the royals have some kind of stipulation they have to abide by in order to keep the royal line going.

Regular witches, the magics are passed down through genetics. It can happen one generation after another or it could skip a generation or two but it always continues. Those aren't nearly as powerful as a royal but still have the ability to create magic. I have to produce with one of the specific genetics in order to create a powerful witch. It all deals with recessive genes. In order to create a royal witch, the royal must have a baby with a man who has the same powerful recessive gene, the gene that was created specifically to create a royal. This is why the men who have children with others don't produce a royal witch or a witch at all for that matter. You need the recessive gene in both the mother and father for it to happen.

Vampires are much more difficult ones to create. The royal werewolf also requires a specific gene, much like the one needed for me. All just need the specific gene combination for it to work but that doesn't make any of this any better. I can't imagine I'm the only one who seems to have a problem with this. At least, I don't think anyway.

"I still believe the way you are acting is because of him," Bella suddenly said as she put the car in park in the driveway of the cabin.

"What?" I asked, pulling myself from my thoughts, completely missing almost every word she had said.

"I think you would still have an issue with the whole process because, let's face it, Claudia. That's just how you are. You're very independent and dominant. You hate being told what to do even if that order came from the Grand Witch herself. I feel that your feelings for Jovian go deeper than just some lustful thoughts and actions or some infatuation. I think you're in love, Claudia, you just don't want to admit it. I don't know anything about love because I've never loved a man before, in fact, I've never even dated...didn't have time in my coven," She said as she turned her gaze away and looked down at her hands as they rested on the steering wheel.

"The thing is, I think you're rejecting these men because it hurts your heart too much to let yourself be with someone other than Jovian," She continued as she looked over at me.

I sat there and looked at her as I thought. It's not that I don't believe her, I do because I have known how I have felt about him for a long time. I've just never admitted to it out loud for anyone else to hear. I looked away from her and put my hand on the door handle just as she spoke again.

"You have to put how you feel aside, Claudia. You must continue the royal line before it's too late and you can't have a baby with him, it isn't possible and you know that. Even if you could, you know as well as I do that it would be against the supernatural law for mixed species...and don't you glare at me as if I have forgotten about the demon-human hybrid. Demons have never followed the supernatural law and that's because the demon king doesn't care about any of this!" She continued to tell me.

"I will complete this in the time frame given to me by the Grand Witch," I told her and opened the car door.

"You're down to two months, Claudia!" She shouted as I shut the door.

Instead of walking inside the cabin, I decided to walk around to the back. I walked slowly down the sidewalk. I didn't know what I was going to do or where I was going to go, I just wanted to be alone. I walked down the steps on the side of the hill to an area part way down that had flat ground with a retaining wall holding it in place. There was a small brick patio with a bench. I sat down on it and looked through the trees and out on the town that was now lit up with a bunch of lights.

"It's very beautiful here," I said softly when I felt his presence nearby.

I knew he hadn't left. I kind of figured he would stick around and I smelled his scent when I got out of the car. Vampires are like that. They are stubborn and determined and yet...can be the most patient out of all of the species.

"Even more so now that you are here," He responded from behind me.

"Why is it so hard to stay away from you?" I asked, keeping my eyes on the town below.

"Probably for the same reason why I can't stay away from you or think of anyone else," He said softly as he placed his hands on my shoulders and gave them a light squeeze.

"It's forbidden," I responded.

I felt him kneel behind the bench. He moved his hands around me till they were in front of me and I placed my hands over his. I felt him get close to my neck, softly placing his lips on my tender skin.

"Forbidden doesn't make it impossible," He whispered just as I turned and placed my lips over his.