My Universe

38: “I’m so sorry, Summer.”

It was as if someone else entered her body at that moment for her to do such a thing. Perhaps, it is true that overwhelming emotions and words from other people indeed press the button that makes people do the most unexpected things that they never expect to do in their whole lives.

 If Alice did not decide to look for Aster to ask about her roommate, neither of them would have known about what Winter was planning to do out of impulse. It was most likely an instinct that made the art student be unable to just sit still and completely leave her roommate alone. Aster did not hesitate to run toward the dormitory because she also had a hunch that something bad might have happened with Winter being all depressed alone in a room. It really was a good thing that the both of them immediately went back to the dorm for her.

The sobs of the art students filled the room as she sat on her bed while watching her roommate across her. A few minutes after the raven was caught attempting to end herself in the bathroom, she was seated on her bed with her blank eyes stuck on the floor while the brunette was sitting beside her and cleaning the area around the open wound on her inner wrist in a gentle manner. Reality was beginning to hit Winter when she observed how much tears were being released by Alice as she realized how much impact her action actually had on her roommate. Because of that, a pang of guilt was what she felt at that moment on her chest.

On the other hand, Aster had not uttered a single word ever since she arrived in the dormitory with Alice as her facial expression stayed the same as well. The brunette immediately took the first aid kit that she saw on the corner as she pulled the raven to the bed for her to start treating her wound that looked awfully painful just by looking at how much blood had been lost and how big the gap between the tissues was.

“I’m really sorry, Summer. I didn’t know that you were going through something that bad to the point where you…” Alice choked on the lump forming in her throat for a while as her lips quivered because of too much crying. “I’m so sorry, Summer.”

The art student could not help but blame herself for not noticing how much suffering that her roommate had been experiencing. She knew that Summer barely had any friends as she decided to take the responsibility to be a good, caring friend to her and not just her dorm roommate. Alice was supposed to be the first person to know about what Summer was feeling or going through for her to give her the comfort that she would need. After what just happened, the art student concluded that she was not the good friend that she expected herself to be as she failed to be a true friend.

Winter felt too guilty for making Alice that worried and sad for her as she could not even bring herself to look at her miserably crying. She did not know how much it affected the two people around her as she felt stupid for hurting herself with the intention to end her life. It was as if an evil spirit came to possess her body like it was its own as she gained her consciousness as herself back when the two women came to stop her from going further with her plan.

The raven quietly winced in pain when the brunette purposely pressed the dressing on the wound as she turned to look at her though the look on the brunette’s face was still the same as if she did not just hurt her for a second when she was supposed to be treating her wound. Winter did not want to look at her face as well because she could see how much she was affected as well. All the raven could do was stare at the wooden polished floor until her wound was done being treated and bandaged.

When she was done, Aster gently patted the bandage before taking the arm of the raven off her lap as she stood up from her seat right after. The raven took a look at her wrist as she realized how big the wound that she made must have been just by observing the size of the rectangular bandage that the brunette used. The theory about Winter really having a bad spirit possess her body for a while made her herself believe it as she remembered how she was sensitive in physical pain that she would often overreact, like how she acted like she was on the verge of death when she got a paper cut. Even after she already had her wound cleaned and bandaged, Winter was still in disbelief that she really was the one who created a huge wound that would surely leave a scar on her own wrist.

The roommates turned to look at the brunette when she walked toward the front door in silence as she stopped on her tracks while her hand was on the doorknob. Aster turned to look at the both of them with a straight face. No emotions could be seen on her face as if she was wearing a mask.

“I’ll be leaving now,” Aster said before she turned to meet the gaze of Winter. “I just came to check up on you, anyway.”

Winter was surprised at what the brunette just said as she watched her open the door and leave the room without throwing one last glance at them. From what she recalled; Aster told the raven that she was a god that was just roaming around the human world to observe human behavior. If that was true, why was Aster’s reaction like that that was not like usual when she found Winter?

The questions that were forming in the head of the raven were set aside as she stopped spacing out when she felt someone sit on the empty space next to her on bed. The raven turned to see the art student wearing a forced smile on her face while wiping her wet cheeks and eyes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt.

“I know that you’re probably not comfortable in telling me your problems,” Alice spoke as her eyes dropped down to her bandaged wrist. “So, do you want to have a movie marathon together? Watching movies can distract you from reality even though it’s just temporary.”

Winter stared at her for a few seconds before pulling the sides of her lips up to form a small smile on her face as she nodded, which made the smile on the face of her roommate grow wider.

Fortunately, Alice no longer had any classes to attend that afternoon as she was able to use all of her vacant time in being with her roommate-s***h-friend. The art student prepared her laptop that they would use for their movie marathon while waiting for the food that she ordered for delivery. The atmosphere was awkward as Winter became quieter than usual because of the guilt and embarrassment that she had been feeling for the past minutes.

“You pick the movies that we’ll be watching,” Alice said as she placed the foldable mini table on the floor across them with her laptop on it.

Their room was not big enough to have a couch as it was basically just a bedroom for two people with a bathroom. Since that was the case, Summer and Alice would always sit on the floor where they place a fluffy carpet as the art student would use her foldable table that she often uses for drawing and to put her laptop on while they would eat whatever snacks that satisfies both of their cravings. It may not be the most comfortable way to have a movie marathon together, but the both of them were always satisfied anyway.

When the delivery man called Alice to inform her that he was already outside the dormitory building, the art student panicked as she could not decide whether it was safe to leave her roommate alone for a while or not. It was supposed to be funny since she looked adorable with her troubled look about deciding between those two choices, though Winter realized that she was a bastard for thinking it was hilarious for a second when it was her fault why the art student was traumatized of leaving her alone. With that, the raven decided to volunteer to go with her to take their food from the delivery man.

It was finally time for their movie marathon as the both of them sat on the floor beside each other after placing their food on the floor as well. They ordered a box of cheesy pepperoni pizza, a bucket of fried chicken, a box of chicken nuggets, a box of French fries, and two 2-liter bottles of orange and lemon sodas. It was a feast with only the two of them eating all of those as they thought that it was enough for the both of them already since that would be their dinner as well.

Though Winter did not know any movies in that universe, she decided to pick a movie with an intriguing movie poster since Alice insisted her to choose. Eventually, the film that the raven picked was an animation film since she thought that the female main character on the movie poster looked pretty. One thing to make Winter give an answer instantly was to show a pretty girl.

The both of them were silent as they were just munching on the food that they were eating while watching the opening credits. It felt familiar for the raven when an upbeat song started to play during the opening credits since it was like that for almost all animation movies that she watched; though her expectation was ruined when a man suddenly got decapitated in the first scene of the movie, which made Winter widen her eyes and drop her jaw in utter shock.

For some reason, it seemed that Alice was used to watch gruesome or gory films when she did not even react at the first scene. Winter was in disbelief that she got deceived by the movie poster itself, thinking that it was a fun animation film about a strong female lead character that was mostly for minors and definitely not a thriller film about killing people that was R-rated.

Since the raven did not want to watch the grisly scenes, she decided to stare at the fried chicken that she was eating instead in secret for the latter to not notice that she totally did not like the film that they were watching. Even though Winter could suggest to switch the movie, she decided to not keep silent throughout the whole film as she noticed how immersed the art student was in the movie.

The image of Aster’s expressionless face suddenly appeared in the head of Winter while she was diverting her attention to the pizza in front of her from the laptop since another gory scene flashed on the screen. It was her first time seeing the brunette look serious for once that it made her intimidated of her. The glare that she gave the raven made her feel chills as it was her first time to receive a glare from her as well. It was as if Aster was a completely different person.

Winter let out a silent sigh as she realized that it was her fault for making them worried anyway. Thinking about how stupid she was, she could not believe that her stupidity could actually reach to that level.

Wanting to forget about what just happened, the raven decided to follow the advice of the art student as she focused on the movie instead since the film was fortunately a short film.