My Universe

37: “I’ll be fine after this, right?”

“With happiness comes sadness,” is not what just people say because it is a fact that applies to everyone. Everyone is given a life each, and life is not just a simple health bar that people must maintain in order to stay alive because life is broad. Everyone gets to feel all sorts of emotions and experiences in life, which is why life is brought in life.

The person that was relating to that quote the most at the moment was the raven-haired woman, who accidentally travelled to another universe without their own will. From morning to lunchtime, everything was going well that she was able to wear a genuine smile on her face because of the excitement of meeting the alternate self of the love of her life. Aster was also there to help and give support to Winter for the start of her love story as she felt like all of the good luck was with her until lunchtime. It was all going too well until she was left alone. And what happened last time when she was all alone in the campus? She got harassed by the students that hate her.

The raven wrapped herself in her thick blanket that smelled like fabric softener as she pretended to be a burrito on her bed. Inside the burrito was the woman who was sobbing with liquid streaming down her face nonstop that her bedsheet was already wet, though she did not care at that moment as she was too heartbroken to care about anything else. Winter was not in the blame for deciding to not care about the classes that she would be having in the next hour because anyone who would be in her shoes would not want to step a foot outside as well.

Winter was just roaming around the university to learn more about what the university was like and to compare it to the university that she was studying in the university that she originally belonged to when she had to accidentally bump on someone. The raven was in a good mood at that time, so she immediately apologized and offered her hand to the stranger; only to be given a loathing look. The same situation from last time was what happened again as the stranger’s friend helped her stand up instead.

“Don’t you dare touch me, you murderer.”

“Do you plan on murdering my best friend too?”

“What’s wrong with the law? Why does this criminal still have the freedom to walk around here?”

Other more insults and mean words were spat directly on the face of Winter as she felt her heart ache at the words that she did not imagine receiving in her whole life. If the raven did not run away from them at that moment, she would have heard more words from them that felt like sharp daggers constantly stabbing her chest. The raven was totally clueless about the context of their words and loathing for her, though she could not believe how those people were able to speak to her as if she was a piece of dirt that deserved to be stepped aggressively on a spiky ground. They made her feel like she was never even a human being.

It had been more than an hour since Winter had been staying in her blanket as if she had no plans to do other things other than weep. She had a class in around 20 minutes, but who cares? The raven had lost all sources of motivation to continue living and finding a way to go back to her world. She knew that the names and words that the strangers threw at her were not actually directed to her but to Summer. Still, Winter felt the terrible painful feeling from the stinging words as she felt like she was the person who they were actually cursing especially since she was actually in the body of Summer.

The sound of the front door creaking made the raven open her eyes as she bit her bottom lip to control her sobs from being too loud. Footsteps could be heard coming closer to her as she tightly gripped on the blanket to keep herself from being her seen. The raven heard a gasp as she loudly wished in her head for her roommate to stop paying attention to her and just continue doing whatever she was supposed to do without bothering her.

“Oh my gosh. Summer, are you okay?” Alice spoke with worry evident in her voice as she crouched at the side of the bed and gently placed her hand on her.

In the sight of the art student was a body completely wrapped from head to toe with a thick blanket, which would have looked like a mummy if the blanket was replaced with toilet paper or white linen wrapping paper. There were times when Summer would be wrapping herself with her blanket like a burrito if she was feeling upset about something, though that happens rarely.

Winter refused to budge even after her roommate patted her to let her presence be known to her. The raven bit her bottom lip deeper that she later could taste metal from a liquid that produced on her lip from biting. Alice continued to get her attention by lightly shaking her shoulder as Winter closed her eyes tightly with her tears continuing to flow down from the sides of her eyes as she started to feel annoyed at the latter for being stubborn by continuously asking her if she was all right and shaking her body. The last two things that Winter needed at that moment were obvious questions and physical contact with someone.

With her emotions becoming overwhelming, the raven shouted with closed eyes, “Stop it and leave me alone!”

The art student was taken aback at the sudden outburst of her roommate as she felt hurt by it because it was the first time that her roommate had ever shouted at her angrily. Sure, there were times when Summer would want to have her own space by wrapping her whole body with a blanket because she was feeling upset. If she clearly does not want anything to do with Alice, Summer would just calmly tell her that as she would understand it right away and give her the space that she wants after. An hour later, Summer would get over it and ask Alice to hang out.

Since Alice had no idea that the person who was in Summer’s body was actually Summer, she could not help but be confused about it as she was feeling like her roommate was a stranger. Summer never got mad at her for offering comfort and an ear for her to rant, which was why Alice could not help but feel hurt about it. It was as if they never had a special connection with each other in the first place.

Even though Winter hurt Alice by shouting at her, Alice decided to stand up and leave the dorm quietly to give her the space that she wanted since she did not want her roommate to feel more overwhelming emotions. The last thing that Alice wanted was for their friendship to be completely over just because of her stubbornness.

After hearing the clicking sound of the front door closing, Winter let out the loudest sobs that she had been keeping in as she shut her eyes tightly while feeling a pang on her heart. The raven knew that her roommate was just concerned for her, which was why she felt guilty about it though that did not weigh more than all of the pain that she had ever since she came to this universe. It was torture.

Suddenly, an idea popped up in her head while she was crying as she quietly decided to try it. The raven slowly pulled her blanket down as she squinted because of the sunlight that was coming from the window. Winter sat up and leaned her back on the headboard to completely get all of her tears out before deciding to do the activity that she just thought of doing to try to get back to the universe where she originally belonged to.

Six minutes passed as the sobs were becoming quiet until the raven was no longer sobbing. Though she could still feel her heart aching, she wore a straight face as she stared at a blank space while letting the tears continue to stream down her cheeks. Her heart was racing in a fast pace because of nervousness about what she was about to do, but there was nothing that she could think of which would be better than that.

When Winter was done gathering energy to get up from bed and proceed with her plan, the raven did not bother wiping the tears on her face as she just stood up from the bed and began her search. She opened every drawer and container that was found in the room as she searched every part in the room for the item that she needed. It did not take a long time as she eventually found it.

Not wanting to cause a mess on the floor and bed, the raven decided to head inside the bathroom as she shut the door behind her. Her imagination was slightly ruined since she remembered that they did not have a bathtub as she instead just decided to sit on the corner of the bathroom. Tears did not stop falling as she stared at the reflected light on it while tilting her wrist like it was a toy. It felt like she had a horse running in full speed inside her chest because her heart could not stop racing in a fast pace.

Winter never imagined herself doing it yet she was just about to do it at that moment.

With a shaky hand, the raven positioned the tool right above her inner wrist with the sharpness of it being felt on her skin. Nothing was in her mind at that moment—not even Claire, her family, or her friends. At that moment, it did not feel like Winter was doing it to test if it would work as a way to get back home as she just wanted her suffering and heartbreaks to end in an instant already. While she was already in pain, it would not be a big deal to feel pain physically for Winter.

“I’ll be fine after this, right?” the raven mumbled to herself while staring at the blade that was lightly touching her soft skin.

Her blank eyes twitched a bit as she stared at the red liquid that escaped from her wrist and slipped down to begin dripping on the bathroom floor. The raven had successfully pushed the blade down her skin to open a gap. She could feel her wrist intensely stinging as she stopped pushing the blade for a while to observe what it felt like. It was painful, but Winter did not think that it was enough to be equivalent to the pain that was killing her.

Winter was not satisfied with just feeling physical pain because her goal was more than that as she clenched her grip on the handle of the cutter and continued to deepen the cut by slowly moving her hand back and forth. She let out a wince of pain at first though nothing left her lips after. The sound of the blood dripping down on the floor was what cut the deafening silence in the bathroom off.

Just when the raven was about to go deeper, the door of the bathroom suddenly swung open as she realized that she forgot to lock the door because of her mind being only focused on ending her life. When Winter raised her head, the face of the brunette greeted her with an angry expression.

A second later, the raven found the cutter that she had been holding being forcefully snatched away from her. Winter took a look at her inner wrist that had blood continuously flowing down before raising her head once again to meet the glare of Aster.