My Universe

3: “I want us to be free now.”

A week had passed since Claire went to Winter to celebrate their fourth anniversary together. It had been four years since the both of them met for the first time at Claire’s hometown and even they were amazed about how far they had been through together.

The day of their fourth anniversary was already perfect with Claire travelling a couple of miles just to celebrate it with the love of her life that one just wished to have a perfect partner like her. She even swore to not leave Winter’s side until the remaining time before the day of their fourth anniversary was over as she slept in her dormitory room even though they both knew that outsiders were not allowed to sleep in the dormitory. Fortunately, Tina and Hana were her roommates, so they were safe.

Everything was so perfect until a few days had passed as Winter started to notice some changes in their relationship. Confusion and sadness were basically what she had just been feeling for the past days that her friends would even find her spacing out sometimes as she had been constantly overthinking about what happened between her and Claire when they were literally just fine last week.

“Winter!”

Winter flinched in surprise as she looked up from her food to see her two best friends staring at her with worry evident in their eyes. An obvious fake smile stretched across her face as she turned her eyes back to her plate while her hand went to grab her fork for her to begin eating since a few minutes had passed since her food was served yet she had not even touched a utensil.

“I know I’m pretty, so stop staring at me and keep eating.” Winter let out a chuckle as she halfheartedly pushed a forkful of carbonara in her mouth. When she started chewing, it was when she realized that she had no appetite to eat at that moment.

A sigh escaped the two women’s lips before Tina placed her elbows on the table and leaned forward as she spoke in a serious tone, “Something happened between you and Claire, did it?”

As psychology majors, Hana and Tina did not have to think hard about it as they got their answer immediately when they saw how their best friend slowly dropped the fake smile on her face and froze on her spot. Among the three of them, Winter was the easiest to read, after all.

“What happened, Winter? You know that we’re here for you, right? Whatever happened between the two of you, you are always free to run to us,” Hana said with concern as she reached to hold Winter’s hand that was resting on the table.

Hearing what her best friends just told her; Winter’s heart started to ache even more as she felt tears forming around her eyes. Not wanting to cause any unnecessary attention from the other diners, the red-haired woman faced the ceiling to stop them from falling as she gritted her teeth while forcing herself to think of happy thoughts to stop herself from wanting to weep in front of her best friends in a restaurant filled with plenty of strangers.

Tina and Hana were about to move their chairs closer to her to give her a hug when the red-haired woman suddenly raised her hand in front of them to stop them from doing so.

“No, don’t. People will think that I’m crying and everyone will then give me their attention,” Winter said as she let out a chuckle while blinking the tears away.

  The other two women had no choice but to go back to their seats as they could only watch their best friend control her tears from falling in silence. They had no clue about what happened between their best friend and her girlfriend, but they were pretty sure that they could have had an argument for her to not be her usual self for a few days.

The mood was not the same as how it was before lunch started even though Hana tried to lighten up the mood by cracking up jokes and sharing funny stories about herself. Seeing how Winter did not start crying out of too much laughter, her best friends knew that whatever happened between her and Claire was serious. It was obvious that she did not want to talk about it as Tina and Hana just tried their best to distract her from the thoughts that she was drowning in.

***

Just when Winter thought that she was already having a bad week because of what was happening in her relationship with Claire, another thing to feel down about just had to appear.

The red-haired woman stood with her head hung low as she gritted her teeth while her eyes were shut, forcing the words that were entering her ear to leave instantly from the other ear. She was basically not in the mood to hear an earful when she was already feeling upset because of her girlfriend.

“Winter Kali, are you even listening to me?” The middle-aged woman let out a sigh of exhaustion as she rubbed her temples while looking at the silent student in front of her.

“Yes, Miss,” Winter blankly answered. She just wanted to go back to her dorm.

“You failed in most of your exams. You will have to repeat those subjects if you keep this up, Winter,” one of Winter’s professors said.

“I understand, Miss. I’m sorry, I’ll get better next time,” the red-haired woman spoke in a monotone as her facial expression did not even change.

Her professor looked at her for a few more seconds before she let out a sigh as she nodded and dismissed her. Immediately, Winter turned to leave the faculty room without looking back as that was what she just wanted to do when she was inside earlier. The red-haired woman knew that it was her fault for not studying well for the exams though she could not help but blame the professors for making the exams intensely difficult.

Including Tina and Hana, it was their vacant time for the whole day already though she had no choice but to be alone since both of her friends had important matters to attend. Winter let out a heavy sigh as she stepped out of the building, staring blankly at the busy school grounds. If a sigh was equal to a dollar, then she would definitely be a millionaire already.

Another sigh left her lips as she felt her heart ache when she pulled her phone out to see no new messages from Claire. For the past few days, Claire only replied to her messages at night even though Winter sometimes spammed messages during daytime. The worst thing was that her messages were often short and seemingly cold, though Winter just kept forcing herself to believe that she was just overthinking and that her girlfriend could just be exhausted since she was a 3rd year architecture student, after all.

Excitement filled her though it faded right away when she felt her phone vibrate as she saw her mother’s caller ID on the screen. Winter then remembered that her professor earlier mentioned about her telling her mother about her low scores on most of her exams. A sigh left her lips once again, knowing that she would be hearing another earful in the same day. She cleared her throat before swiping on the screen and bringing her phone on her ear.

“Hello, Mom?” the red-haired woman softly spoke as she did her best to not release a sigh.

“What is this that I heard, Winter? You failed most of your exams? Do you think that college is a joke?” her mother spoke from the other line. Even though she was not yelling, Winter could still sense the rage in her voice.

“I don’t, Mom. I’m sorry.” Winter pursed her lips as she walked toward a bench to sit when she spotted one.

“A sorry is not going to change the fact that you failed your exams, Winter. You barely call home and this is the call we receive? Just what have you been up to?” Winter bit her bottom lip as she spotted a student from afar walking with his dog while she started to hear barks from the other line.

“I’m sorry, Mom. I promise that I’ll call you guys more often and that I’ll study harder next time,” A forced small smile flashed on her face as she spoke after the barks stopped.

With a huff, the call was dropped as the red-haired woman brought her phone down and stood up from the bench. Usually at afternoons like this with no classes, Winter and her friends would immediately go to the mall to shop or just eat snacks. Loneliness was what the red-haired woman could only feel at that moment as she hurried herself to head back to the dorm since she just wanted to wrap herself with a blanket on bed and stay in the dream world instead.

Late dry replies from Claire, failed most exams, received an earful from two people in the same day—they all happened in the same week and day as Winter started to think what she did wrong for life to punish her like that. While Tina and Hana were busy, that was when she realized that she did not really have any friends aside from them, which made her even lonelier.

Winter finally arrived back in the quiet dorm as she threw her backpack on the side of her bed before slumping herself down, releasing yet the 100th sigh for the day. She was not feeling sleepy, so she just lied comfortably on her bed while staring at the white wall. She wanted to burst in tears for the bad events that had been coming together though she could feel her eyes being completely dry, which made her even more upset because she knew that crying would make her feel less heavy.

A vibration from her phone could be felt as she took it and moved it up to her face to see who was calling her, hoping that it was not her father now to give her another scolding.

But as soon as she saw the caller ID on the screen, she immediately sat up with her eyes widened and lit up with happiness. With hope that her whole week would be saved with just one call from the love of her life, Winter did not hesitate to swipe the screen and bring her phone to her ear.

“Babe! I missed you so much! Where have you been?” Winter spoke in joy as her energy returned.

For some reason, there was only silence in the other line that the red-haired woman had to look at the screen of her phone to make sure that the call was still ongoing. She furrowed her eyebrows for a while when she saw that it was still ongoing as she wondered why her girlfriend was not speaking from the other line.

Just when she put her phone back to her ear, Claire finally spoke, “Winter, let’s break up.”

The smile on Winter’s smile slowly dropped as she felt even more anxious while thinking whether she just heard it wrong or not. Her lips began quivering as she let out a nervous chuckle while running her fingers through her hair.

“W-What are you saying, babe? It’s been a week since we spoke through voice call and you’re pranking me like this?” Winter forced out a laugh though she could feel tears falling down from her eyes already.

“I’m sorry, Winter. I didn’t imagine us to separate like this, but I don’t want us to suffer even more. I did truly love you for the past four years, Winter. But I guess we’re not really meant to be together.” Claire let out a sigh from the other line. “I want us to be free now. Please understand that, Winter.”

“N-No, Claire. What are you talking about?” Winter did not care as she let out all of the sobs that she had been keeping in while clenching her fist on her hair.

“I’m really sorry, Winter. Let’s talk again soon.”

With that, the call dropped as Winter moved her shaky hand to redial Claire’s number, only to hear a single ring before being directed to voicemail. Knowing what it meant, the red-haired woman dropped her phone on the bed as she let out a scream with hope to end the endless pain that she was feeling.

It was how happiness could be replaced with an intense heartbreak in just a week.