Mate worth loving

Chapter 8: Making The Right Choice

*Jason Pov

    "You Jason need to reject me as your mate."

My whole world has stopped. I don't think i am even breathing at this point. The last words i have ever wanted to hear come out of my mates mouth just completely shattered my whole world. I feel this crushing weight on my chest like someone is ripping my heart out and stomping on it over and over again. Where is all this coming from? Did my mother's comment sink in more than i thought? Did Claire say something? She must have because i didn't ever say anything to her about rejection. 

"Why would you say that Lila? I will never EVER reject you. Just the thought rips my heart into a million pieces."

"I don't mean to hurt you Jason i just think you have the wrong person. That your goddess has chosen wrong."

    I am staring at her completely baffled. Lila talks so lowly of herself and i hate it. She has no idea how beautiful she is. And i'm not sure how to make her see it. I don't know how to make her see what i see when i look at her. How do i make her understand?

    "Lila, i will not reject you. I want to love you, i want you to let me fall in love with you. And i really want you to give me an opportunity to show you what i see when i look at you."

     "And what do you see Jason? You barely know me and I barely know you. You can't love me and there is nothing to love about me if you got to know me. It will be better for everyone if i just left and never came back."

That's it i have had enough, she isn't believing me when i give her compliments and i am trying to open up to her and show her how i am feeling but she keeps turning the conversation back around to her and a pity party for one. I done. I've got nothing to lose at this point maybe a bit of tough love will help her see that i am serious. 

    "Lila enough! I am tired of hearing you constantly put yourself down. You are the most caring person i have ever seen. The first thing you asked when you regained consciousness was the well being of your aunt, even though she left you in this state. I can tell you have a beautiful and kind heart and you are right i don't know you but i want to get to know you. Please get to know me first before you ask me to reject you."

    *Lila Pov

    I really don't know what to do. Everything in my body is screaming out don't let go but my head is telling me to run before it is to late. I know what happens when you think someone loves you and all they really want to do is hurt you. I know next to nothing about Jason and his family and friends. How do i know that everything he is saying isn't a lie? What if all he wants is to hurt me? I know i sound absolutely ridiculous but i haven't known anything else. My family hasn't and properly never will love me. I ca't remember what love feels like and that breaks my heart knowing i don't have that in my life. 

    "Lila? Please?"

I look directly into his eyes and i completely melt. I am scared of what is to come with Jason but really what do i have to lose?

    "Okay Jason. I will give you a chance. But only if you promise not to push me to hard to fast?"

A giant breathtaking smile spreads across Jason's face and i swear i could just die at the sight of it. Just seeing him smile makes my heart swoon like no other. 

    "Of course Lila. I promise you i will never do anything you are uncomfortable with. And i also promise that i will love and treat you like you deserve to be treated. Like a goddamn queen."

Jason really does say the right things. Hopefully i can let him do the right things as well.

*A few days later

    "Jason i know i said i would try and i do trust you but i think this is to much. Your parents still aren't very happy that you are with me and you have already done more for me than anyone else has but this is to much."

    I have finally been released from the hospital after a few days and Jason seems to think it is unsafe for me to live by myself. He has been trying to talk me into living with him and his family for the last few days now and i don't feel comfortable doing that. I mean we have just started 'dating?' i guess would be the closest thing to understanding what we are doing. But i can tell his family absolutely hates me, he tries to tell me that i am wrong but i know i am not. His parents haven't seen me since that day and it bugs me. I hate that i am the reason that Jason is so tense with his parents because of me. And now he expects me to move in with him and his parents like we are one big happy family.

    "Lila I said that i won't force you to do anything and i mean that, but when you agreed to give me a chance and be my mate that also put you in a vulnerable position."

"What do you mean vulnerable position? Do you mean i am in danger?"

    "Well yes and no. There is a possibility that some of the other women might be jealous of you and try to hurt you to get where you are. But my main worry his your aunt was released on bail and we lost sight of her. I don't know where she is and the last thing i want is for her to come back and hurt or worse."

My aunt isn't in jail? What the hell? Was anyone going to let me know or what. "So you waited until i was released from the hospital to let me know that i am in danger to what manipulate me when to doing what you want? Sorry but no that's not going to work Jason."

    "Lila that is not my intent-

"Don't lie to me Jason i'm not in i***t. If that wasn't what you wanted to do then why are you just now telling me?"

    "I didn't want to overwhelm you. I didn't want to put to much on you all at once."

"That was and is not your choice. I deserve to know what's going on with my aunt and her whereabouts and now you tell me you have no idea where she has gone and that she may still be dangerous? And that apparently with me being with you might bring me danger from members of your pack? How am i doing so far? Nailing everything on the head?"

    I am beyond mad at Jason right now and he has the audacity to start smiling. Great am i nothing but a joke to him? Does my opinion mean that little to him?

    "What's so freaking funny Jason?"

   "Nothing. Nothing is funny i am just happy i guess."

Now i am completely confused. What the f**k does he have to be happy about? "You are happy that i am mad at you and that i am yelling?"

    "Yes as weird as that sounds. This is the most i have heard you talk and you are really talking. You are speaking your mind and telling me the truth about how you are feeling and that you don't agree with what i am doing. Lila a few days ago you would barley look at me let alone yell at me. I am happy that the real Lila is coming out and i am happy to see that i was right. You are going to make a great Luna."

"Hold on i think that we are jumping the gun a bit here and getting off topic. But you are right, with each passing day i am feeling more comfortable with you and i honestly do feel like i can trust you and tell you the truth. But please hear me Jason i don't think me living with you and your parents is the best idea. You can deny it all you like but your parents don't like me and you might not want to tell me why but i know what i heard and what i saw. And they were anything but pleased when they saw me."

    I dropped my head a bit thinking back on what his parents said. I know i don't know Jason very well and i don't think i love him but the thought of him with another girl just breaks me. I can't imagine it and i don't want to. 

Jason puts his hands on both sides of my face and pulls my head up to look at him. He is gazing at me with the most amazing eyes filled with nothing but his affection for me. He started to rub my cheeks with his thumbs and pulled me in for the most breathtaking kiss i have ever had. Granted i haven't had that many but none have felt like this. My whole body is exploding with tingles and sparks with every touch every lingering kiss. To my own surprise i turn my head to deepen the kiss and grant him access to the inside of my mouth. Our tongues started dancing around with each other only making the passion i am feeling that much deeper. Before i could do anything else we hear someone's throat being cleared behind us and turn to see Claire and Hayden standing in the doorway.

    "WOOOO Lila and Jason are getting some!"

Hayden quickly shoves Claire off to the side blushing at the remark she just made. I couldn't help but laugh. His face was priceless and i could tell it caught Jason off guard as well. He was blushing more than i was. 

    "Right well took you guys long enough. Did you bring the car?"

"Of course. Sorry Claire said that the car had to be completely spotless before Luna got in it. Something about first impressions or some shit."

    "Excuse me for not wanting Lila to be sitting in complete filth. You two are the definition of disgusting. Like seriously! But anyway's are you guy's ready to go? Your parents are waiting for us pack at the pack house."

My stomach just dropped. I can't believe i just forgot that i am mad at Jason for deciding where i am going to live without talking to me first. 

    "Actually there is a change in plans. Lila isn't going to move into the pack house just yet."

"Wait what? Does your parents know?"

    "No because i just decided after talking to Lila. I am going to live with her in her apartment. At least until we have completed the mating bond and Lila has met the pack."

I turn to Jason with the biggest smile on my face. He listened to what i said and is trying to compromise. 

    "Are you sure Jason? This isn't going to make your parents like me anymore than they already do."

"Yes Lila i am sure. Because i think this will be the perfect chance for us to become closer with no one else around and i want to explain what the mating process is and make sure you are on board with everything before you fully commit yourself to me and the pack. The last thing i want is for you to jump in without having all the facts. And if you feel like it is to much or not what you want then i will respect your wishes and leave you be."

    The thought of him leaving me is sicking but i am so happy he is thinking about me and what's best for me and him. 

"Alright Jason! Let's move in together."

    Let's hope that this mating thing isn't as scary as it sounds. Although the thought that is really scaring me is what if we get to know each other and i fall for him, but what if he realize's that i am not the one for him?