Finding My Way Back

Chapter 4: Mona

Dear Diary

This week has been long and exhausting.

Between finals coming up which results into nonstop studying, and Brian being busy with his dad's obsession with having him meet everyone from his alma mater, Brian and I have hardly seen each other.

Today is Friday and knowing I won't even see him at school today has me feeling sorry for myself.

Since the day Brian was introduced in my Economics class our junior year, there hasn't been a day I don't see him in the halls of Ridgemont High School.

I'm not so much worried as I am anxious that I will result back into the shy, quiet and timid person I was before he walked me to each class. I think back on Monday when Derek spoke to me. He told me that he would have stopped the bullying if I had stood up for myself back then.

I haven't spoken to Derek again. He sits right next to me and we had another free period Wednesday but instead of speaking to him, I chickened out and put my nose in my book. I glanced at him often but each time I did, he was either writing or just closing eyes listening to his music.

I never told Brian about what happened with Amy or how Derek stood up for me. He has so much going on as it is, that I didn't want to bother him with more. Besides, what would I say? Hey Brian, your friend Derek, the one I'm partially afraid of, intrigues me. Please tell me his story so that we can one day be friends?

Is that what I want? To be friends with Derek? I don't know for sure, but I do know that Derek Branders is someone I should keep my eye on.

- - - - -

"You going to miss me?" I smile into my phone as I hop into my ford focus.

"You're going to be back tonight."

"Just admit it and I'll let you off the phone."

"You do know I could just hang up right?" I can hear him and dad chuckle and shake my head at their bond.

"You in the car yet?" I love when his voice gets deeper when he asks questions that have to do with my safety.

"Yes. Heading to school now. So, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Can't wait babe. Love you."

"Love you." I can hear my dad making kissing noises before I press end and laugh.

Turning the ignition on in the car, I adjust the mirrors and the seat and crank up the heat. I got my car when I turned sixteen. I had saved up money from working at the library and was able to put on a down p*****t. Within a year I had paid off my old beat up focus. She's old but she's reliable.

Pulling into the school's student parking lot, I grab my book bag and head into campus. I can feel people's eyes on me like I always do but this time obviously feels different. Brian not being around me is causing people to do a double take.

I make it to my first period and sit by the door, waiting for Mrs. Boseman to open so that I may go in and get away from the cold. I pull out my cell phone and glance at the two new messages I have from Brian.

Brian: I miss you

Brian: Can't wait until I have you in my arms.

I smile at the sweet messages but stop when something blocks my warmth of the sun. I look up to see Derek standing there looking down at me with a confusing look.

"Um, is everything alright?" I ask as he continues to stare.

"Yeah, thought I would block the sun for you. It's practically blinding you."

"Oh, yeah thanks. I actually like it thought. I get cold easily."

"Got it." Derek moves over so that the sun is in my face once more and I close my eyes basking in the warmth.

"Your kind of weird you know that?" I look over to see Derek taking a seat on the cold cement next to me. I hadn't expected him to do that and I almost feel like I should stand up so that he isn't ruining his clothes.

"How am I weird?" Not that it's not anything I've never heard walking down the halls of this school. By Sophomore year, Amy and Miranda had the whole school believing all kinds of random disgusting facts.

"Just are. You want the sun on you. It's blinding you, but you don't care. You also always have a book in your hands." He joints to my lap causing me to look down at the worn version of Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin.

"I like reading, and the sun." I close the book and am just about to put it in my bookbag, when Derek's hand reaches out and stops me.

"Don't hide who you are Jolie. If someone as shitty as me says something to you and it hurts your feelings, pick your head up, tell me to f**k off, then keep reading."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Don't like seeing someone beautiful hate everything around them."

Before I can ask what he is talking about, I hear a scream from across the campus. I turn to see Mona barreling down the corridors of classrooms yelling my name.

"Jolie!" I stand just in time to catch her octopus grip around my body.

"Mona?" I am almost in shock to see my best friend.

"God girl, I missed you so much!"

I close my eyes and relish in her arms. Mona has been my best friend since she moved out here our sophomore year. She was originally from Australia but not long after they moved out here, her parents went through a divorce. She went through a pretty bad period of drugs and self-harm while living in the states so a few months ago, she went back to living with her mother and getting into rehab. I have missed her so much, but I knew it was something she needed to do.

"When did you get back?" I look up and wipe at my tears that have streamed down my cheeks. I haven't spoken to her in a while. Whenever I call her mother says she is either busy because of her job or at school.

"Two days ago. Dad was able to get me back in the school and I can even graduate with you because of my credits over in Australia." I hug her once again, this time not letting go until the bell rings.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm good. Really good. I feel great actually. I am just so happy to be back. Never thought I would miss this school but here I am." I laugh remembering all the times she practically fought my battles for me when Amy and Miranda would bully me. Mona being suspended for fighting my fights only added to her father's stress and overall weariness about her living with him.

"So, should we talk after class."

"Yes, I'll meet you here after class, then we can catch up. By the way, who were you talking to?" I turn around to introduce Derek, but he is now gone, most likely inside getting ready for class. Where I should be.

"Oh, um just a friend."

"And how is Brian." My blush and smile seems to answer her questions because she simply laughs and tells me she will see me later.

I walk into class with a lot more positive energy. When I sit on my desk, I immediately jerk back up from the intense pain I have in my bottom. I look down at the seat and notice a bright green tack sitting straight up.

Shit, that hurt!

"Uh oh. Did I leave my tac around again?" I hear laughter from Amy's peers but don't look in her direction. Of course, she did this. It screams immature.

I want to shout. I want to throw something. When I glance at Derek, he has his eyes narrowed on Amy. His fists are clenched, and he seems to want to jump out of his seat.

"What's going on back there? Mr. Branders, what seems to be the problem?" Mrs. Boseman yells out from her desk of calling roll.

I place my hand over Derek's shoulder, not wanting him to get into trouble. Amy will either play the victim card, or the dumb card, both of which Mrs. Boseman will have to believe. I can feel Derek's tension drain just a bit and when he looks over to me, I nod my head in understanding.

I wait for a nod back from him, then take my seat.

"Nothing Mrs. Boseman. I accidentally tripped Jolie. Just telling her sorry is all."

Mrs. Boseman looks around the room, stopping a moment at the little group surrounding a laughing Amy, then nods her head and turns around.

I take out my book and begin taking notes from Mrs. Boseman's lecture. Halfway through, I get a tap on my shoulder from Derek. The irises in his eyes look brighter and more vibrant then before. His expression is that of confusion and curiosity.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

I shrug my shoulders but respond to him anyways. I don't know why I find it easy to talk to him. Up until Monday, I hadn't whispered more than five words to this man and yet, here I am ready to tell him everything.

"Why bother. Amy would have just played the 'I didn't do it' card, and it would have been my word against hers. It sucks and I'm in pain because of her. Not to mention she will only see my ignoring her as a challenge to do more, but I just don't want to give her the time of day. I don't think she deserves my attention."

Derek looks down at his notes and taps his pen a few times on the spiraled green notebook. After a few minutes of us once again listening to Mrs. Boseman, he leans over and says something that throws me.

"I meant what I said earlier, but I think it came across a little rude. You're strange, but it's more of a refreshing type of strange." I look back over to my notes with a blush. I'm not exactly sure what Derek means but the way the conversation is headed is making me a little uncomfortable. No one has ever complimented me besides Brian.

"I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't be worried about being yourself. You're the type of person people try their whole lives to portray." I look back over to him and see a genuine smile. I return it and we both get back to work.

- - - - -

"So, how are you and Brian doing? Has he asked you to prom yet?" Mona asks me, biting into an apple.

"We are good, and no he hasn't asked me, but to be honest I kind of don't expect him to. We're dating after all."

"True, but still, there should be some kind of romance involved. Like some form of groveling mixed in with a little spanking." I throw my had back and laugh. I've missed Mona so much.

"I think you and I have different versions of romance. So how are you feeling being back? It can't be easy." Although I would be sad seeing her leave again, I wouldn't get angry. People tend to relapse when their pasts catch up to their present.

"I'm good, really good actually. Dad and I are doing better, no arguing anymore. I go to see a counselor once a week. I haven't wanted to cut in over six months. The drug craving is still there but it's more like a shiver. I know what will happen if I go back and trust me, I don't plan on ever doing that again."

"Well, I'm proud of you. Brian will be excited to see you too." I hug her once more and the two of us sit and watch everyone in the cafeteria. There are several groups of people setting up banners and flyers about prom and getting tickets soon.

"I know you just got back, but have you thought about going to prom? You could always go with Brian and I."

"No way am I going to crash on your guys night. I'm going, with or without a date. I no longer let men dictate who I am. My prom is something I want to look back on and smile when I see the hideously trashy dress I'll wear." We both giggle at that but she suddenly stops.

"Mona?" Her eyes cloud with admiration and I look behind me to what she is looking at. A gasp escaped my mouth and I cover it with my hand.

Brian stands on the side of our table located behind me. He's wearing his normal attire consisting of dark jeans with a black tee shirt and a red and white flannel. He looks stunning with his dark brown hair and chocolate covered eyes. The only difference I see is what's also making me want to jump into his arms.

He is holding up a sign that says, 'Will you go to prom with me? I can hear the aww's from the girls in the cafeteria and the many snickers from the boys. I don't dare look around though. Not when the person in front of me causes my heart to skip beats.

I stand up when Mona whispers to me to take Brian out of his misery. His smile lures me closer and closer into his embrace until I can feel it on my neck.

"I thought you wouldn't be back until tonight?"

"We were on our way to the lake when there was a road block. Officers said there was a fire up ahead and that no cars could get through. We decided to postpone the trip and go another time, so I figured I would come surprise you."

I smile against him as he speaks into my hair. I haven't let go of him yet, and if I could have it my way, I never will.

"Alright, alright break it up you two. People are trying to enjoy their lunch and you're making everyone here want to hurl." Brian pulls apart and laughs at Mona.

"Well, well. If it isn't Mona Lisa. What the hell are you doing here?" Brian lets me go and puts the sign on a nearby table so that he can embrace Mona.

"Yes, well. I'm much better now, and I thought I would come back. I miss my girl, but apparently, she hasn't had much time to miss me since you're in the picture."

Brian and Mona keep talking and I smile at their jokes for each other. They never got a chance to get close because by the time I let Brian into my life, Mona was too far gone to even know who I was. Something in the far corner of the cafeteria catches my eye and I lean past Brian to see Amy starring daggers at me. She sees me notice her and immediately pulls her glance away.

What the hell was that about?