Alpha Queen

Chapter 5

Josie Pov

Even after a month, I can still taste the bad taste in my mouth from my birthday party. I can still remember the night before my party, the feel of freedom running through the woods, but the pain of shifting into a wolf, the pain of shifting back, it was just as remembered as the freedom itself. I can still remember the conversation from the party, how my mother and father never really fought much, but they stood there fighting, because of me. My mom was known for how stubborn she was, and how high strong she was, and my father was known for how much he’d never give up on something he wanted. They were so strong together, but when they were against each other, which was rare, they clashed so badly that all I could do was shake and cry, afraid they’d end up splitting up. The notion of a fated pairing splitting up was rare, but it did happen sometimes. My father had the biggest smile on his face when he asked me how it felt to shift, how it felt to run, and the freedom, but my mother wanted nothing of that question brought up. They started to fight about it. She wanted me to reject my wolf and chose my magic, because it’s what I’ve always had and it was what I was used to. It was clear that the wolf wasn’t the best option for me, with how much it hurt shifting, with the pain and the blood to shift back, and the way I had fainted afterward. Father argued with her, his eyes flashing, uncaring over the few people that were close by enough to overhear. Wanted me to reject my magic, because he had seen me spitting blood into a napkin earlier that night when I had been putting up decorations. I didn’t like half of the decorations, but mother did and I had long since stopped fighting her when it came to the party decorations. She liked it big and sparkling, and most of the time I just wished it was over before it even started. Besides, I was a good daughter. I didn’t fight, I didn’t argue, I was soft-spoken and strong, doing what they wanted when they wanted it. But how was I supposed to be a good daughter when they were fighting with each other over what I should do? I had been so used to everyone telling me how to live my life, but now that I had two options, I didn’t want to choose just one.

I understood it was the stress that pushed them over the edge. Seeing me in pain, seeing me bleeding and crying, it was a lot. I understood it, but to be the cause of their fight? It was so hard for me, and I ended up running away from them all, climbing the stairs and curling up in a ball, worried. I don’t know what I was worried about, to think that my parents would ever reject each other. By the time I had calmed down, they were both fine and apologizing, telling me how worried they were about me. I guess the stress of finding out I had a wolf, the pain of shifting, and the pain of using my magic on top of being worried that I was going to be the reason my parents split up was enough to send me over the edge. I still felt stupid for crying like that in such a place. Anyone could have seen me, but I was just so tired at that point that I didn’t care. Honestly, I remembered that the door down the stairs opened and closed constantly, and more than once I heard footsteps on the stairs, but they never walked all the way up, never noticed me. It was like someone was stopping them from coming up the stairs, but when I finally stopped crying and regained my appearance, ignoring the pain in my stomach from using my magic to make everything look perfect as usual, I looked down the stairs and there had been no one there.

“Josie? Are you okay?” I looked over at Tessa, shaking my head to get my mind out of my thoughts. I don’t know why I was still dwelling on the party, on the staircase, when it had been a month since then. But there was something about it that was pulling at me, a scent that lingered, and a feeling that I couldn’t ignore. I couldn’t stop the thoughts that someone had been silent, that someone had noticed me, and that someone had stood by protecting my image. It was a feeling, there was no proof to it, but I couldn’t shake it all the same.

I smiled softly at Tessa, feeling her fingers slide against mine as she squeezed my hand tightly, her wide amber eyes filled with concern as she studied my face. “I’m fine, Tessa, I’m just slightly tired,” I said with a nod.

It wasn’t exactly a lie, not really. I was exhausted, with everything that’s been going on. Trying to keep up with my straight A grades and trying to pretend like everything was okay was harder than I thought it would be. Every time I shifted I felt weaker and weaker, and every time I used my magic I felt like I was dying. My mother and my two aunts had been trying everything they could think of to figure out what was wrong with me, or what they could do to help me, but so far nothing was working. I had slept over at Tessa’s last night because my mother wanted us to go to Dani’s shop today, but I was starting to regret being here. It wasn’t the first time I slept over, and it wasn’t going to be the last, I’m sure, but I knew without a doubt there was something wrong with the atmosphere. Everyone seemed to be on edge, everyone seemed to be arguing, and I couldn’t help but feel like it was my fault. Breakfast over here was always lively, everyone who lived in the packhouse of course, and sometimes others stopped by as well. This morning Tessa’s grandmother, Adaline, and her husband, Tate, were sitting at the end of the table with a frown on their faces, trying to calm down Rhys, who looked like he was on the verge of tears. It was strange, seeing Rhys like this. It was like before he had left to another dimension. He was always quiet and thoughtful, hyper and smiling when someone noticed him, but quiet when no one was looking. Lonely, waiting, those were words that I would have used to describe Rhys. But ever since he came back with Sage, he was a completely different person. His hyper and his happiness were times ten, even when people weren’t looking, and we were all happy for him. Little Rune was sitting in a highchair next to Tyler, who was busy trying to pull his hair out of Rune’s grasp as Rune let out a peal of laughter that seemed to momentarily overlap the way Rhys was acting.

Sage was sitting next to Rhys, a sad look on his face as he pushed his food back and forth across his plate, his lower lip trapped in between his teeth as he sighed. I don’t think I’d ever seen Sage and Rhys fight, but it was heartbreaking to watch. “It’s not right for you to pressure him, Rhys,” Adaline said softly, exchanging a glance with her husband as he sighed.

Honestly, I had no idea what Rhys and Sage were even fighting over, but the way Sage kept lifting his eyes to look at me with a guilty look on his face before looking back down again, I had an idea it had something to do with me. Of course, I couldn’t say any of that out loud, because Tyler would instantly jump down my throat calling me conceited. ‘Maybe not. He’s been different the past month, you know? I’ve been skimming through your memories in my free time, and he hasn’t started anything with you lately. No arguments in the middle of class, no comments about you being a princess or a goodie-goodie, nothing. He’s still sleeping during classes and lazy at school, but he’s been quieter.’ Luna interjected.

I frowned, though she was right. Tessa hummed softly under her breath, keeping hold of my hand as she ate easily with her left hand, her head slowly shaking back and forth as she twined our fingers together. I wasn’t entirely sure if she believed me when I said I was fine, but I was glad she was still here comforting me all the same in her own way. ‘Maybe he’s just on his period, or maybe it’s growing pains,’ I muttered, wishing I could just go back to bed.

Luna snickered at me as Colt and Emmett walked down the stairs together, going over to talk to Adaline and Tate. It was strange seeing the three of them in a room together. Tate’s hair was getting slightly lighter now, a graying sheen to it, but despite the small little notions here or there to indicate he was getting older, he was still in prime shape. Werewolves aged gracefully, as long as they kept up with their training, they kept their hardened bodies and their slim figures, their werewolf genes keeping them ruggedly beautiful. Colt still looked like he was in his late twenties, when he was definitely in his forties now. Then there was Tyler, and the three of them together were like looking at brothers. They all had that strand of hair that hung in their face, their faces very similar to each other, with only small differences to show off little hints of their mothers. Tate’s eyes were hazel, while Colt’s were light blue, and Tyler’s were icy blue, but the differences were not that big compared to the similarities. From what I knew of Colt I’d say Tyler had a pretty similar personality to his Alpha father, and I wished some of his Luna father would have rubbed off on him, like Emmett’s manners and his intelligence. “Owww, Rune,” Tyler whined, pulling my lips into a smile as Rune giggled once more, his icy blue eyes the same as Tyler’s as his black curls wrapped around his chubby baby face.

Victoria hopped onto Rune’s highchair and onto his shoulder, distracting Rune as Tyler managed to slip away, shaking his head back and forth as he ran his fingers over the spot Rune had tried to rip his hair out of. “Are you scared? Isobel is going to be there, and I’m going to be there too.” Tessa whispered to me.

It wasn’t the quietest whisper, to be honest, but it was good enough, I suppose. Evelyn lived here too but she was always with Jules. Even at school, because even though Jules was seventeen, she was in college with Evelyn, Tyler, and me. It really shouldn’t be much of a surprise, seeing as her brother Rhys was a genius. At our end of the table was a bunch of empty chairs, Tyler, Rune, Tessa, and I. At the other end of the table were the adults all sitting around Rhys and Sage, making this look like an early morning intervention. It doesn’t surprise me, everyone was so much like family that the idea of anyone having a falling out didn’t just hurt them, but everyone around them as well. I shook my head, giving Tessa a soft smile. I was scared, to be honest. Aunt Dani had become obsessed with her grimoire and learning new spells over the years, stocking up the shop with potions and discovering new witches along the way. It seemed that more and more, young witches were getting discovered nowadays, as either parents gave them away or they didn’t know they had witch blood in them. Young witches that had a feel and a curiosity for magic would go into the shops to look at everything, and aunt Dani had been working hard helping them and bringing them to my mother. This was the first time I’d be going into her shop in a while, but she had apparently gotten everything ready for a large spell, a spell that they had hoped would make me able to accept both of the dominant genes. I was scared it was going to hurt, scared it wasn’t going to work, and scared one of my genes was going to accidentally be taken away.

Of course, me being me, I sat up straight and smiled at her, fearless, as everyone expected me to be. “I’m fine, Tessa. It’s going to be okay, I’m sure of it.” I said with a soft smile. I could feel the turmoil inside me as Tessa smiled at me, giving my hand a soft squeeze as she continued to eat.

Sage got up halfway through their intervention and walked over to Rune, a sad look on Sage’s face as he picked Rune up and apologized to the Omega, who came out with a horrified look on his face over the large mess Rune made. He ran his fingers through Rune’s hair as he brushed food out of it, a sad smile on his face as Rune slapped his little hands against his father’s cheeks and giggled at him. Sage took Rune to the common room to play while the rest of the adults talked to Rhys, and all I could do was sigh, feeling like all of this was my fault. ‘It’s just…not fair. Why should I have to choose one or the other when I don’t want to? Why can’t I be a witch, and a wolf at the same time? Obviously, they were both meant for me, so why can’t I? And why is it tearing everyone apart?’ I wondered, chewing on my lower lip.

First, my parents were fighting over me, and now Rhys and Sage were, and I just…it was becoming too much for me to handle. The idea of giving up my magic was something I couldn’t even think of. I’ve had it all of my life, it was everything to me. I never went a day without using my magic, growing stronger, studying spells, and trying to live up to the prodigy title everyone bestowed on me. I guess I knew in a way, that I should give up my wolf. I had always known I’d be a witch, I was content with it, knowing I’d never get a wolf, but the feel of the wind against my fur, the freedom to just simply run, the soft earth beneath my paws, and the deep connection I felt with Luna. It was too much to handle, trying to pick one or the other. ‘It’s a good thing, I guess. The fact that females born from half-breed relationships are witches, while males are wolves or shifters. Just think how hard this would be if it happened to everyone. A child given magic when they’re seven, grow to use that magic all their life, integrated to be a part of their everyday routine. Then they turn twenty and they get a wolf, and suddenly they have to choose. I don’t think anyone would be able to choose, not really. It’s too difficult of a decision.’ Luna said softly.

I sighed, looking down at my plate. I had barely eaten my food, most of it sitting there growing cold. I had always been a slow eater, wanting to make sure my body digested properly, making sure I was sitting up straight and never dropped food, pristine. If my food got cold I’d simply heat it with my magic, but now I was scared to even do that. Scared I’d cough up blood all over the table in front of everyone. I felt just so…exhausted. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could go like this, but in the end, I don’t think I could choose, not really. I felt a gaze on me and lifted my eyes, surprised to see Tyler’s icy blue eyes peering into mine. It wasn’t the first time in my life I had felt his gaze on me, but usually when I looked back at him I was met with a look of disdain, or a taunting sneer that told me he was about to tease me. However, this time there was nothing there but concern, and I tore my eyes away from his, feeling uneasy. How dare he look at me like that? How dare he feel concerned for me? He should just feel it for himself. I felt my chest ache as I clenched my teeth, taking a deep breath as Tessa started to talk to Tyler about his birthday party, since it was coming up this week. I simply sat there taking deep breaths, a soft smile pressed against my lips as I willed myself to sit up straight, to lift my head, chin up, and to breathe. I smiled and nodded when Tessa looked at me, the soft bubble of words coming from her was fast and hard for most anyone to understand when she was excited, and I looked at Tyler from the corner of my eye, a frown on my face. He had his head resting on the palms of his hands, a look of adoration on his face as he smiled at his sister, the usual, honestly. Sometimes I believed if he could put her in his pocket and keep her safe from the world he would.

However, unlike the usual Tyler that would completely ignore me, I kept feeling his gaze slip from Tessa to me, and I couldn’t help but feel my smile waver, because I couldn’t quite understand why his gaze tugged at me, begging me to notice.

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Because of reasons I can't explain on here, I'm giving a warning of removal. I will be continuing to update this book daily right here until Friday. Friday, this book will be taken down. I'll be leaving the first five chapters on here so the book itself won't be getting deleted.

There is a very big, very important reason for this. If you haven't already followed me on my Fac.ebo.ok group, then I hope you take a minute to do so. The newest pinned post will explain everything you need to know about this book, why I'm taking it down, and what I'm doing after that. I'm putting this message on the end of all of these chapters to warn everyone, since I don't know where they are at reading the book. I really hope you take a minute to follow my group and allow me to explain what's going on.

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Mallory Grant-DImages Writer

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