Forbidden Baby

Chapter 4 – Date night

Thia’s POV

Loretta’s parents had finally said goodbye and we both ran upstairs to get ready; it didn’t take me long to do my hair and makeup and then I helped Loretta straighten hers. When we were done, we set up the snug for the movie.

There was a buzz at the gate and Loretta pushed in the code to open it and let them in. Loretta had been seeing Shaun for almost as long as me and Freddie. Freddie and Shaun came over every Friday night, so knew each other well and Shaun always picked up Freddie on his way.

‘How does he not now know you are only 16?’ I asked, still not understanding how he hadn’t figured it out.

‘I told Freddie to keep his mouth shut, and I told him I met you a party, so he didn’t wonder about our age difference. He hasn’t mentioned it since’

I rolled my eyes, he knew… he had too! But I kept my mouth shut. There was a knock at the door, and I ran to open it. Loretta laughing at me as I went.

I swung the door open and pushed Shaun out the way and threw myself into Freddies arms, wrapping my legs around his waist, arms around his neck and kissed him as he steadied himself with the addition of my weight.

‘Whoa their babe’ he chuckled ‘It’s not been that long!’

‘It’s been too long’ I pouted as I released myself from him and allowed him to step inside, closing the door behind him.

He took my hand and we walked into the kitchen were Shaun and Loretta were getting drinks.

‘Hey Shaun’

‘Hey Thia’

‘Food will be here in about ten minutes’ Loretta informed them.

‘Great, coz I’m starving’ Shaun wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and rested his chin on her neck.

‘What are we having?’ Freddie asked as we both got drinks for ourselves.

‘Indian, we just got a mix of stuff and thought we could just stick all in the middle and share?’

‘Sounds good’ Shaun and Freddie had stopped offering to pay after a while, Loretta never accepted a penny from them, just grateful they could come to us every week.

We didn’t stay in every night, but with the weather drawing in and funds not exactly being free flowing, it was becoming more of a regular thing.

When the food arrived, we laid it all out, got plates and chatted animatedly about everything and nothing as we usually did.

I started to clear up and Shaun helped ‘Has she told you what we are watching?’ I asked eagerly.

‘Nope’

I grinned wide ‘The Purge’

It was my turn to pick, and I loved a good Horror. Shaun always went for action, Freddie Sci fi and Loretta chick flicks.

‘Oh God, Really?’ he looked over at Freddie and Loretta who were pouring more drinks and getting snacks.

‘Yep’ I grabbed a bag of popcorn, Freddie got the drinks, and we all went to the snug to get comfortable.

Shaun was not a lover of the horror movie, but in his defence, he got thought it quite well. By the time it was done though, him and Loretta were already on there way out the door and upstairs to her room.

‘Wanna stay and chill for a bit?’

‘Yeah’ this is why I loved Freddie; it wasn’t just all about the s*x.

The first night we did it, I worried that once he had his way with me, he would leave me and laugh about it. I thought I knew him better than that, but it was still a niggling thought in the back of my mind.

I couldn’t have been more wrong. He was sweet and caring, and he made me feel special. He looked after me, took his time to please me, constantly told me how beautiful and special I was and never once made me feel like I wasn’t enough for him.

He continued to reassure me, and hold me, touch me and hug me, whenever he could the days that followed. I loved that he did that, I needed it, and he just seemed to know.

We had been together 6 months the first time and after that, we had only made love a handful of times. It wasn’t like we rushed up to bed the minute the film finished like Loretta and Shaun. This didn’t concern me, and Freddie gave me the impression he felt the same.

We were in it for the long haul, we wanted more than just s*x and passion, we wanted a connection, a relationship and something that would last.

We didn’t lack passion or want for one another, we craved each other and as we grew more confident with one another’s bodies, we had a hunger for the pleasure we could bring one another. But for us, it was so much more than that.

Sometimes we would talk and then go upstairs, but other times, we just stayed content in each other’s arms cuddling on the sofa, because that was just what we needed at that moment. Today was one of those days.

I suddenly felt a pang of guilt as we lay in each other’s arms. I was carrying his child, and I was keeping a secret from him. I wanted to tell him, but I knew he would worry. He couldn’t help me; I couldn’t help myself. Until I had this figured out, it was better this way.

I turned so I was facing him, and I kissed him softly, deepening the kiss. I thought what I needed was to be held by him, but as I delved into his mouth, I found that what I really needed was his passion, his touch, and his need for me.

I pulled away, moved to the edge of the sofa, and stood up holding my hands out to him.

‘Freddie, make love to me’

He smiled softly ‘Lead the way my fair lady’

We took the steps up to the first floor and I led him to the room that had become mine. I opened the door and he followed. He softly shut the doors and pulled me in for a kiss. Giving me everything he had, showing me how much he cared.

At that moment, I allowed myself to become consumed by him.

‘Freddie, I love you’ I didn’t care if he said it back, but I needed him to know.

‘Oh Thia’ he hugged me tight ‘I love you so much’

He took my face in his hand and a single tear fell from my eye. He softly wiped it away.

‘Don’t cry my angel, it’s a beautiful thing’

He led me over to the bed and ceremoniously worshiped my body. Taking his time to work his way down to my sweet spot, his mouth and tongue working wonders as my body danced to the rhythm he set.

We spent the next hour in bed and right then, was a moment I wished would have lasted forever. I didn’t want everything to change. Or for him to leave me tonight or any night for that matter. I certainly didn’t want to go back to my parents’ house tomorrow. It was all a depressing thought.

All too soon it was time for him to leave me. I wasn’t ready to let him go for another week. I had been unable to use the same excuse as last term for the after-school tutorial lessons, so our after school meet ups were add hoc and sporadic.

The harder and faster I fell, the more difficult it was to keep up the pretence.

‘This is so difficult’ I whined, not wanting to let him go.

‘I will wait for you Thia, I will wait as long as I have too. Once day, they will have to let you go, and when they do, I will be here waiting to catch you’

He always said the right things.

He and Shaun left, and Loretta and I tidied up and headed to bed. I lay in bed and slowly drifted off to sleep.

I was so happy, and then I remembered, I had to decide what to do about our baby. A baby I had kept hidden from him. My secret baby, my forbidden baby.

But a baby I had already grown attached too in just two days and already didn’t want to give up.

My hands held my stomach again, something I realised I had done more than once since my discovery, and I noticed for the first time; it already had a small swell.

I wondered how far gone I was, I had no idea. We had been so careful, or so I thought, I struggled to know when it could have been.

Somehow, I managed to get through the rest of the weekend as I normally would. By the time Monday came around I had managed to find the number of a family planning clinic in the city that would help me.

I couldn’t take time off school for an appointment, people would ask too many questions, so I had to wait until Saturday, and get Loretta to cover for me. The worse thing about that, was having to lie to my best friend. I couldn’t tell her why. I wasn’t ready to accept it.

The following week, as Friday came and went and Saturday arrived, I found myself leaving Loretta’s early before she had even woken. I was glad in a way, I wasn’t sure I could hide it from her this morning, I was so nervous, my mouth was dry, and I had difficulty in pulling myself together.

I arrived at the clinic and was let in, I couldn’t help but look around at all the other young people here, hoping that I knew none of them. I was pretty sure they were thinking the same. I kept my head down and waited to be called.

‘Thia Mathews’

I stood up and young girl escorted me into a room. I sat down in the clinically white room and twiddled my fingers and bit my lip as I waited for her to close the door and be seated in front of me.

‘What can we do for you today’ she smiled kindly, but It didn’t put me at ease.

‘I’m pregnant’ I blurted out trying not to cry.

‘Ok, well, can I assume this wasn’t planned?’

‘No, not planned’ I took a deep breath.

‘Do your parents or the baby’s father know?’

‘No. Not yet’

‘Do you know how far along you are?’ she asked softly, once again, trying to put me at ease.

‘No’

‘Right, well, I think we should find out before we talk about your options’

‘Ok’

She asked me to undress my bottom half and lay on the bed and let her know when I was ready. I did as she asked, and another lady came into the room. She put some cool liquid on my belly and moved a stick around and on the screen, she pointed to the blob that was my baby.

Seeing it, and hearing its heartbeat for the first time, I was over wrought with emotions.

‘Ok Thia, you are about 18 weeks pregnant, that’s about 4 and a half months, you are due on approx. 18th April. Do you know what you are going to do, or do you need us to go through your options?’

‘I’m keeping my baby’ I said before I had time to register what she was saying properly.

4 and a half months! I must have got pregnant the first time we had s*x! 4 and a half months… the words kept swirling around my head. But then her next question brought me back into the room.

She smiled softly ‘Would you like to know the gender?’

‘You can tell already?’

‘At this stage, yes, we can tell’

‘Ok, I want to know’

‘You’re having a little girl’ and I burst into tears.

‘It’s a little overwhelming isn’t it’

‘A little, yes’ I admitted. I got dressed and sat back in the chair.

‘You will need to report to your Doctor, and we can hep you with advice and anything that you may want to know, but as you are keeping your baby, we strongly advise you to tell your parents and the baby’s father. Without their support, a lot changes, and we can only give you advice based on what we know of your situation’

‘okay, thank you’

I left, feeling foolish. My parents are not going to support me. They would want me to get rid of my baby. Religious beliefs or not, having this baby is far worse to them then getting rid of it. I went straight to the library to research everything I could about babies, childcare, support for single homeless parents and both mine and my parents’ rights regarding abortion.

By the time I was done, I knew I could manage on my own, but I also knew my parents wouldn’t care what my rights were, if they could get me to a clinic before I was 24 weeks, I wouldn’t have the option to keep this baby. My baby. My daughter.

I was never going to allow that to happen.