Drowning in Hades

Chapter 13

-Dola POV

Ma let me know that she would tell Hades about where I was whenever he was done with Pa. I wanted to tell him where I was going, but I think I honestly would have chickened out from telling Andrei. I know I shouldn’t be afraid of telling my twin what happened…I just don’t want to see the hurt in his face or have him wonder what he did wrong that I couldn’t tell him. As much as I may be self-doubting myself, I know I need to tell him.

It didn’t take Ma long to portal me back home. Although, she portaled us in her office so Andrei and I could have a private conversation without everyone hounding me. Because I know my two dads would be questioning me about why I am back so early, and then I wouldn’t be able to look at my mom without breaking down in front of her. Plus, my little siblings would be all over me since they have never been apart from me before. I swear, I didn’t even think of any of this because all I could think about was the face Andrei was going to make when I told him…

“Hey, ma. You wanted to see…Sis. What are you doing here?” My twin says upon bursting into Ma’s office. I cannot help but smile as I run over to him. Crashing into each other, Andrei gives me a big squeeze before letting me go. Gah, it feels good to see him.

“Hey, twin,” I say as we both walk over to the couch. Sitting down, Andrei doesn’t say anything as he looks at me through narrowed eyes. Fu*ck. “So, how are you?”

Yeah, Andrei doesn’t buy it. “What are you doing back so early? You weren’t supposed to be back yet. I thought you were going to be gone for a whole month.”

Okay, Dola. You can do this. Just spit it out. “I actually came back because I need to talk with you about something.”

Andrei turns serious as his eyes hold a curiousness in them. “Alright. What’s up?”

“Remember when I was kidnapped the first time?” Andrei nods as his body tenses up. “So, they didn’t just hurt me.”

“What do you mean?” Andrei stares into my eyes as the words are gritted through his teeth.

Closing my eyes, I drop my head as I try to find the courage. Swallowing roughly, I take in a deep breath. “They didn’t just beat me. They shoved my shirt up and then shoved my pants down. They touched me while commenting on my body. I didn’t think that I was just going to die… I thought I was going to die while being violated.”

Keeping my eyes closed, I wait for Andrei to say something…but it feels like the seconds are turning into hours. The only thing I can hear is his breathing. Finally I will my eyes to open, only to come upon Andrei frozen.

“Andrei…” I whisper out as I reach out a hand towards him.

Before I can rest my hand on his arm, he is flying off of the couch. I gap at him as he flips over the coffee table while letting out a scream that rips into my soul. I hitch on a sob just as he falls to his knees in front of me. His eyes hold so much hurt in them.

“Why didn't you tell me?” His voice is pleading.

“I sort of blocked everything out. I was walking around in a fog-like state after it happened. When I got kidnapped the second time, it woke me up.”

Andrei’s eyes go big before he clears his throat. “You mean… Why didn’t you come to me? I would have come up with another plan! I wouldn’t have let you get kidnapped the second time if I knew.”

Smiling sadly at him, I say. “But you didn’t know. And I wanted to help you and Peanut. You deserved to be with Peanut without looking over your shoulder.”

“BUT IT WAS AT YOUR EXPENSE!” Andrei basically roars at me, causing my jaw to drop. “Peanut may be my mate, but you are my twin. Dola..”

“No! I will not let you do that.”

“Do what? Put any blame on myself?..” Andrei goes to continue, but I slam a hand over his mouth. Shutting him up.

“Stop,” I say fiercely. “No one knew what was going to happen after you met Peanut. No one could have known that I was going to end up getting kidnapped or what was going to happen during that. Don’t try to blame yourself.”

Andrei closes his eyes before leaning back. I let him as I try to will myself not to cry. I need to be strong for this conversation. I need to get it off of my chest.

“I broke down in Hell, in front of Pa.” This gets my twin’s attention as he snaps his eyes to look at me. “Not going to lie, it felt good to yell and scream. It felt good to unload. I felt lighter. Like part of my soul could finally breathe again.” I take a moment to think about what I want to say next. “I won’t lie to you and say that I am okay or that I am healed or whatever because that wouldn’t be true. I have been suffering in silence for a while now. Dealing with nightmares to where I am forced to relive the kidnapping. Taking showers 3 times a day to try to scrub off the hands that I still feel on me. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror because I see them over my shoulder. Sometimes, I wish they would have just killed me because then I wouldn’t be left with all of this damage that a mate is going to have to pick up. That is another thing I am struggling with, feeling worthy of a mate. You know, you always want to experience everything with your mate, but those bast*ards took that from me. They took away my feeling of safety. I have been struggling for a long time in silence because I didn’t want to burden you when you and Peanut can finally breathe. I didn’t want Peanut to blame himself because I know he would. I just…thought this was the better way, but I know better now. After having a breakdown in front of Pa, I figured out that is the only way to purge this out. I need to talk about it. I need to tell you so I can have your support while I try to figure myself out. Hell has been good to me, and I just feel like a part of me healing was being honest with the one person who is literally half of me.”

Andrei reacts before I even get the last word of my sentence out. He crushes me into a hug. “I will always be here for you. I don’t want you to have to fight demons on your own because I will always be here to help you. I don’t care what I am doing or who is with me. You are my twin. I have been protecting you since we were in the womb together, and that will never stop. Thank you for telling me. Now, let me help you heal. Let me be there for you again.”

“I would like that,” I whisper as we just hug each other. After a few seconds, I pull back with a smile on my face. “I do have a random question.”

“Yeah? What is that, twin?”

“What would you do if I found my mate?” I ask while chuckling although the smile drops from Andrei’s face.

“I would lock you away while I questioned him.”

I abruptly stop laughing as I look at him in shock. “No, you wouldn’t.”

“Yes, I would. You think I am going to let some stranger near you without vetting him out first? Nah, not a chance.”

Oh, dear goddess….I need to get back to Hell before he finds out about Hades.