Drowning in Hades

I was kidnapped. I never thought that I would ever end up in a situation like that, but I was. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but the ones who took me. I know that. I knew within that moment that what was about to happen was supposed to happen. I needed to go through what I went through because the Moon Goddess had it happen for a reason… Although, I am still trying to find out why I had to go through some of the things that happened when I was kidnapped. I could have taken just the beating or them kicking me in the ribs until blood poured out of my mouth, but what they did beforehand… How they groped me… The way their hands felt touching me... Lifting my shirt up so they could just stare at me. They violated me in ways that I never thought would happen. You should be thankful they didn’t r*pe you... Among other things “I am,” I say to myself in the mirror as that little voice fills my head. Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I don’t recognize the person staring back at me. I don’t know who I am anymore. I am starting to question things that I didn’t think I would ever question. Then maybe you should tell someone. “No.” I almost shout the word out at myself. Feeling silly, I just start up the shower. Once the bathroom fills with steam, do I step in. The hot water seeps into me, almost like it is cleansing my body. The memories are starting to surface. I cannot allow them to cripple me. Grabbing the soap, I start to scrub at my skin. I want the feeling of their hands off of my skin. I need to scrub off the feeling of their stares that burned into my skin. Tears fall down my cheeks, the sound of them hitting the shower floor deafening me. Ma, Lilith, may have healed me of my injuries, but she did nothing to heal from the torment that would follow. “You’re going to be okay..” The words fall from my lips repeatedly as I scrub at my skin.