Drowning in Hades

Chapter 7

Dola POV

Once we make it to my room, I start to clam up a little bit. Hearing the door shut almost has me wanting to back out of this. But something within me is telling me to stick through with this. I don't know if I should listen to this little voice or not. Closing my eyes, I take in a deep breath before walking over to the bed. I steel myself to be strong within this moment. Quickly sitting on the edge of the bed, my words die on the tip of my tongue as I take Hades in.

He is leaning against the closed door, and gah, he just looks like some godly man. He doesn't seem to be in a rush, so I decide to take him in. To look him over, up and down. His white hair is pulled into a bun, but I can tell that it would be long if he were to let it loose. His eyes are a bright red color as they seem to be drinking me in. I have never seen someone with such red eyes before. Something about them is almost hypnotic. Lowering my eyes, I take in his lips. They are a slight pinked color, not too big but not thin either. Just enough for me to want to bite into them; wait…stop. No.

That thought splashes cold water all over me. I cannot believe that a thought like that just popped into my head.

"You wanted to talk?" Hades voice quickly causes my inner thoughts to freeze as I bring my gaze to him. "I am not saying this to pressure you as I will stand here for however long you need me to before you feel comfortable enough to speak to me."

I can feel the warmth in his voice. I have a pretty good ear for when people are trying to b*llshit me, but this isn't that. Not only can I hear the warmth within his voice, but I can see it within his actions. He hasn't even tried to step close to me, and he didn't touch me until I laid my hand out for him to take. It is with these thoughts that I have come to the conclusion that I have power here. He isn't taking anything away from me. Hades is letting me choose how fast we go without complaints. This causes my brain to think differently. It is as if I am seeing the world through a brand-new pair of glasses.

It is almost like my choice has been given back to me…

Taking a deep breath, I release it, knowing that with my following words, Hades could either still want me or not. "I said I was tainted before, and I meant it. A little while ago, I was kidnapped. While I was being held captive, I had to come face to face with the reality that I might die. Something I accepted almost too easily. Although, my kidnappers decided that accepting death would be too easy. They instead allowed me to believe that my last moments on the earth were going to be spent with the knowledge that their hands ever touched me… I can still feel their gaze on me as they ripped my shirt up. How their cold hands ran along my stomach before making their way up to my breasts." With tears streaming down my face, I lift my face until my tear-filled eyes find him. "Sometimes I wish that they would have killed me. Then, at least I wouldn't have to feel the need to shower 2 times a day, scrubbing at my body until I become raw…only to feel a moment of relief until I step out. The cold air hits me, and I am taken aback… Whatever moment of relief is never here for long, maybe only for about 30 seconds. I can't even look at myself in the mirror without seeing their faces stare back at me. I can still see how their eyes lit up with lust while they touched me. The part that is the hardest is knowing that while they are dead, I am constantly living in torment. How is that fair to me? How is it fair that even though I know they can never hurt me again, they still haunt me." Wrapping my arms around myself, I draw in a big breath as I try to keep my sobs at bay. My whole body shakes with chills as I lower my gaze. "So now you know. I am tainted. I tried to save all of myself for my mate, but two rogues decided to take some of me and kill it."

Hades loud "NO" causes my head to snap up. I stare at him with wide eyes as I watch him take slow steps towards me. "You are not tainted because of those bastards. How could you think that I still wouldn't want you after telling me all this?"

Feeling his warm hands slowly cup my cheeks has my body crumpling. "Because you would have to share me with the ghost of their hands. I can't live in a moment's peace without feeling those hands or feeling their gaze on me. You shouldn't have to deal with this."

"Oh, Tesoro mio." Hades soft voice, and the feel of his fingers wiping away my tears has me leaning into his hands to chase the feeling of something… "I am not going anywhere. I will be here to help you wash away their hands. I will be here to stand behind you when you can finally look at yourself in a mirror with my smiling face admiring you. I will do my damndest to make sure that the only gaze you feel on you is my eyes as I take in your perfect body. Just because you went through something that took a piece of you doesn't mean you can't get it back. I will fight with you as you take that piece of you back with a smile on your face. Those bastards will not win with me by your side. I will be here every single step of the way. Because to me, you are not tainted. You are the most gorgeous woman that I have ever had the honor of laying my eyes on. Not only that, but I can already feel that you are going to fill the missing pieces that I have always had trouble filling."

I let my sobs take over as I throw myself into Hades arms. He catches me with ease. Hades just quietly lowers to his knees as he rubs a hand up and down, making sure to stop his hand in the middle of my back before going back up. Just knowing that he is keeping himself from going lower brings more tears to my eyes. Tightening my arms, I shove my face into his neck as I just let myself break down.