Love Just Ain't Enough (BOOK TWO)

SEVENTEEN: NOW OR NEVER

“I’m glad you called me last night.” Ani nito.

“You were the first person that crossed my mind.” I answered truthfully.

Hinawi nito ang aking buhok at inipit sa aking tainga. “You have no idea how worried I was, Bea. Kung may kinalaman sa akin ang nangyaring panghihimasok ng kung sinuman sa apartment mo, ngayon pa lang ay hihingi na ako ng patawad. Napapamahak ka nang dahil sa akin.” He gritted his teeth. He must have felt frustrated.

“This is not your fault, Ale. Hindi pa naman natin alam kung ano ba talaga ang intensiyon ng taong nagpapadala ng bulaklak sa akin at ng taong nanloob kagabi. Malay mo baka pagnanakaw lang talaga ang balak ng tao.” I felt guilty because the last time we argued, I pointed my finger at him and blamed him for everything.

“Once I learn who’s the person behind this, he better prepare himself for the hell I’m about to put him through. I will most certainly knock the life out of him.” Dagdag pa nito.

I reached for his hand and squeezed it. Umiling ako. “Don’t do things that might cause you in trouble, Alejandro. Let your men work on it.”

“If something would have happened to you last night….” He shut his eyes tightly. Creases forming between his brows.

I gently rubbed his arm. “Nothing happened. You came to rescue me, and I can’t thank you enough, Ale.”

“Whoever he is, he started it. He’s taunting me. He’s challenging me, Bea. I am not backing out especially now that he or they tried to harm you.”

I swallowed. A certain person crossed my mind. “Do you think it’s Ivo?” The mere mention of his name made my stomach twitch. I really hate that man. Ang huling balita ko sa lalakeng iyon ay nakakulong sa bilibid.

Alejandro must have felt the tension in my nerves, so he took my hand to his mouth and kissed my knuckles. “That’s impossible. Ivo died a year and a half ago. Food poisoning.” Alejandro tensed a little as he looked away.

I was speechless. I blinked my eyes and wet my lips. “Are you telling the truth?”

Tipid na tumango ito. “My lawyer confirmed the news to me. I was still in America that time.”

Hindi ko alam ang dapat kong isipin. Kinilabutan ako. Sa kabila ng ginawa ng lalakeng iyon sa akin, nalulungkot akong isipin na namatay na ito.

“Si Adrielle. Ano ang balita sa kanya?”

“Don’t even think about that b***h, Bea.”

I gasped. “She’s your wife.”

“What? She wasn’t and never will be. I told her to back off and move on. I have men following her every move. She was in Manila recently and—oh, f**k. Don’t give me that look, Beverly Ann.” His eyes widened.

“You were in Manila weeks ago.” I didn’t want to sound jealous but that’s exactly what I was feeling at this moment. “You’re with her.” My voice cracked at the last word. Napayuko ako.

“Look at me.” He commanded softly. Using his hand, he jerked my chin up so I could meet his tender eyes.

“Yes, I was with her for only an hour. I spared her an hour to explain why she’s in the Philippines. She attended the funeral of her father’s sister. She flew back to Spain two days after.” He breathed. “There’s nothing between us. Our relationship ended even before I had an accident, Bea. I have told you that. I caught her cheating on me. Saw her f*****g with Ivo on her bed when I paid her a surprise visit. They were lovers.”

I knew this. Naibulalas ni Ivo ang relasyon nilang dalawa ni Adrielle noong araw na kinidnap niya ako. “But they’re cousins.”

“They’re not.” Alejandro shook his head.

Nanlaki ang mata ko. “Hindi sila magpinsan?”

“Ivo was an adopted child.”

“Matagal mo nang alam na hindi sila totoong magpinsan?”

Tumango ito. “Adrielle and I spent our childhood together, remember?”

“Adrielle really did break your heart. It must have been painful for you to see them…doing…that.” Awkward na wika ko.

Ale gave me a confused look. “Who told you I was heartbroken back then?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m not sure. But you’re so mad, hurt, devastated. I could still remember the first time we talked about your fiancée—”

“Ex-fiancée.”

“Uhm. Right. Ex-fiancée. You got angry at me to the point of breaking the wall frames.”

“Let me clarify the matters to you, Bea. First of all, I was not in love with Adrielle. I never did. I thought I’ve already confirmed that to you a long time ago. Secondly, I was not heartbroken after I witnessed what I saw. I was humiliated and feel betrayed. Our businesses were supposed to merge after the marriage, right? Baby, our relationship was all about business. What I asked for Adrielle was to at least stay faithful and be discreet with her affairs until we could file a divorce a year after. But it turned out, she broke the rule, f****d her fake cousin, ruined my plan of the empire I was building, hence I got mad. I drove off fast and the rest was history.”

“Uhm. Okay. But are you sure the one who’s causing this is a ‘he’? Not a ‘she’? You know, you might have broken another girl’s heart in the past and now she loathes you and did all these to us.” I said casually. I was not being serious. I said that to calm him and lighten up the mood a bit but when his gaze darkened, I knew he failed to understand my point.

“Tell me you’re joking.” He said, eyes squinting into slits.

I squirmed inside. He looked so hot when he’s pissed.

“If there’s one person who could break my heart into pieces, it’s you, Bea. You have all the access to it. You’re the only one who could make or break it. Like I said before, you owned me. My heart belongs to you.”

“Uhm. Okay.” My heart made a happy dance. He really has a unique way of declaring his love.

“Did you remember our conversation on the phone last night? Do you remember what you told me?”

I looked up to him. Why is he asking me that? Did he think I forget what I said to him on the phone?

Alejandro roamed his eyes on my face, like he’s searching for the answer. He heaved a sigh. “Right. You were delirious last night due to high fever. Forget that I asked you about it.”

Umawang ang bibig ko upang sagutin ito nang bumukas ang pinto ng kwarto. Pumasok ang magkasintahan na may bitbit na plastic na tiyak akong pagkain ang laman.

Kumalam ang sikmura ko nang maamoy ang fried chicken. Wala sa sariling kumagat-labi ako habang nakatingin sa mga iyon. Alejandro gave me a smirk and pinched my cheek.

Tahimik naming pinagsaluhan ni Alejandro ang pagkaing dala nila Jayden. Hindi rin nagtagal ang magkapareha at nagpaalam na uuwi at bibisitahin na lamang daw nila ako sa penthouse ng lalake. Lumabas si Alejandro para ihatid ang dalawa. Nang makabalik ito ay bumalik kami sa pagiging awkward sa isa’t isa.

Marami akong gustong sabihin at itanong sa kanya. Gusto ko sanang alamin kung kumusta na si Romano. Kung saang panig ng mundo ngayon ang kanyang mga magulang. Kung anong araw kami eksaktong uuwi sa isla. Kung ano na ang mangyayari sa aming dalawa ngayon.

I wanted to ask but Alejandro was back to his noncommittal demeanor again. The air between us became heavy and he must have noticed the tension and awkwardness dahil mayamaya lang ay tumayo ito.  Nagpaalam ang lalake sa akin na uuwi din daw ito para makapagpalit ng damit at may aasikasuhin ding ibang bagay.

Bago ito nakalabas ng pinto ay tinawag ko ito.

“Ale.”

He looked at me over his shoulder. “Hmm?”

Binaba ko ang tingin sa aking mga daliri para maitago ang pamumula ng aking pisngi. “Babalik ka pa ba?”

Saglit muna niya akong tinitigan bago sumagot. “Kung matatapos ko ang lahat ng dapat kong gawin ngayong gabi ay babalik ako. Pero kung hindi ay tinitiyak kong bukas ay nandito ako para asikasuhin ang iyong paglabas ng ospital.”

Tipid na tumango ako. “Okay.”

“It’s better if you don’t wait for me. You need more rest. Good night, Bea.”

My heart sank but I managed to nod again. “Good night.”

Alejandro expelled a sigh as he gave me one lingering look before he stepped out of the threshold and closed the door behind him.

Napanguso ako nang mawala ito ng tuluyan sa aking paningin. I was expecting him to stay with me tonight. I also expected a kiss from him, but he didn’t even try to reach for my face to even give me a light one. Why he was suddenly sulking, I had no idea.

**********

Ang tahimik niya. Mula sa ospital ay hindi na ako nito pinapansin. Binati lang niya ako ng magandang umaga at simpleng tinapunan ng tingin. Sa buong durasyon ng biyahe mula ospital hanggang makarating kami sa residential estate na pag-aari niya, hindi niya pa rin ako kinikibo. He busied himself by checking his phone, Matt was the one driving us.

He opened the main door of his penthouse. “You first.” He spoke, gesturing me to get in. So, the man can talk after all.

I gave him a cold look as I made a stride. Saglit ko lang ginala ang aking tingin sa kabuuan ng interior ng penthouse niya.

“Follow me.” Ani nito.

Tahimik akong sumunod sa kanya as we were approaching the hallway. Binuksan nito ang unang pintuan. “This will be your room.”

Uhm. Okay. We’re not sharing a room then? Alejandro being cold to me is making me upset. Kagabi ko pa iniisip kung ano ang aking nagawang mali sa kanya?

Pumasok ako sa kwartong iyon. Nanatili si Alejandro sa labas na nakapamulsa at nakatingin lang sa akin. Binaba ko sa sahig ang dala kong backpack at saka pa lang ginala ang tingin sa loob. Malinis, mabango at maaliwalas ang buong silid. Kulay pink ang closet at iba pang kasangkapan katulad ng tokador at side table. Parang bagong bili lang ang mga iyon. Sa gilid ay dalawang malalaking maleta ang naroon. Siguro ay mga gamit ko sa apartment.

“The furniture and bed are new.” He uttered as if reading what I was saying in my mind.

Nilingon ko ito. Nakahalukipkip ito at nakasandal ang gilid ng katawan sa door frame. “Pansin ko nga.”

“Take your time looking around. Sa sala lang ako. Our breakfast will be arriving soon.”

Nang umalis ito ay bumuntong-hininga ako. Tinirik ko ang aking mata paitaas. I’m getting annoyed by his behavior. Parang mabigat ang loob niyang nandito ako sa penthouse niya!

Umusok ang ilong ako at lumabas ng silid na iyon. Mabibigat ang mga paang nagmartsa ako pabalik sa living room.

Naabutan ko itong casual na nakaupo sa couch at hawak ang remote control ng TV. He was lazily scrolling through the channels. He didn’t look at me even if I walked in front of him.

My patience was wearing thin and the next thing I knew, I snatched the remote control from his hold and threw it on the empty space on the couch.

Kunot-noong tiningala ako nito. “What was that for?”

“What was that for? How about what the f**k is wrong with you? Ikaw itong nagsuhistiyon na dito ako sa penthouse mo uuwi at titira pansamantala pero bakit iniiwasan mo ako? Bakit ang lamig-lamig mo? Bakit parang nag-iba ang ihip ng hangin at ikaw itong ayaw na sa akin? Madali akong kausap, Alejandro. If you don’t want me here, fine! Hindi ko ipipilit ang sarili ko sa’yo!”

Halos tinakbo ko ang kwartong inilaan ni Ale sa akin para kunin ang backpack na iniwan ko doon. Sinukbit ko iyon sa aking likod at umikot paharap sa pintuan para sana umalis ngunit bumangga ako sa dibdib ng lalake.

He forcefully took my bag away. “What the hell, Bea? What do you think you’re doing?”

“You don’t want me here, obviously. Bakit ko—”

Hindi ko naituloy ang aking sasabihin dahil tinulak ako ni Ale at bumagsak ang aking likod sa kama. Dumagan ito sa akin, imprisoning me with his weight.

“You’re not going anywhere.” Matigas na sambit nito. Tumama sa aking balat ang mainit nitong hininga. “What makes you think that I don’t want you here, baby? You know I’ve always wanted you.” He dipped down and nuzzled my neck. Kumagat-labi ako at napatingala.

“You are not looking at me the way you’ve looked at me before, Alejandro. I knew I’ve been treating you like s**t every time we met but it hurts me that you’re giving me cold shoulders. You don’t want me anymore.” My eyes got misty.

Alejandro chuckled drily. He took my free hand and brought it to…my eyes widened as I gazed at him. Wow. I wasn’t aware of the massive bulge in his pants.

“A..Ale…” I gulped down.

His blazing eyes locked with mine. “Is this not enough evidence that I f*****g want you? That I want to drill your hole with my c**k, for hours, f**k the living out of you, lick every inch of you, make you come multiple times until you beg me to stop. But I have to restrain myself because you’re still weak. I need to keep my distance because I am not even strong enough to hold my ground. You make me hard just by meeting your eyes alone, Bea. I always want you, baby. Make no mistake on that.”

I sighed and touched his face. He closed his eyes as he inched closer. “There’s another reason why you’re avoiding me, Ale. Aside from the fire in your eyes, I am seeing fear. Why is that?”

He took a sharp intake of breath. “Am I being transparent now?” His lips curled up. And then his facial expressions changed. His face hardened. “Bukod sa mahina ka pa, gusto ko munang malaman mo ang lahat ng nangyari sa akin sa mga nakalipas na taon, Bea. Gusto ko munang dalhin ka sa isla. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin mo kapag nabunyag sa iyo ang rason ng pag…ng pag-iwan ko sa’yo. Hindi ko alam kung sapat na rason na ba ang mga iyon para mapatawad mo ako. Para magbago ang pananaw mo sa akin.” He breathed. “Baby, you know I want you. But I want you to want me, too. Gusto kong pag inangkin kita, kasama na doon ang buong puso mo at kaluluwa. Gusto kong pag inangkin kita, kasama na doon ang pagpapatawad mo sa akin.” Napapaos na sambit nito.

I reached out and stroke his face. Pinatakan ko ng halik ang kanyang noo. “Okay. Can we fly to the island now?”

He popped his eyes back open. “We can’t. You’re too weak to travel. Doctors told me to give you at least another two days to rest.”

Napapantastikuhan na napatitig ako sa kanya. “Another two days? No. I’m good, Ale. Sumakit nga ang likod ko sa buong araw na higa ko doon sa ospital. Nilagnat lang ako, hindi ako inoperahan para mangailangan ng ilang araw na pahinga. Kaya kong bumiyahe ngayon din mismo, Alejandro.”

Umiling ito. “I can’t risk your health, Bea.”

Lord, ang OA ng taong ‘to. I rolled my eyes at him. “Umalis ka nga sa ibabaw ko.”

He pouted. I thought he’d moved away but instead, he buried his face on my neck, breathing me in.

“Kung hindi ka aalis, Ale. Gagahasain kita nang malaman mong may sapat na lakas ako para gawin yun.” Seryosong pahayag ko.

Alejandro’s body vibrated against mine because he’s laughing too hard. He rolled to his side while holding his stomach. He couldn’t contain the chuckles.

I looked at him lovingly. It warmed my heart watching him laughing like that. It’s been years since I last saw him so happy, free and vibrant with my antics.

I smirked and climbed on top of him. I sat on his stomach. Alejandro stopped from giggling and looked at me with wide eyes.

“I’m glad I make you laugh, Mr. Salvatore. But I am not joking here.”

He smiled. “I can see that.”

“Now, why don’t we set the time when we will fly back to the island.”

Inangat ni Alejandro ang kanyang mga braso at inunan doon ang kanyang ulo, may naglalarong ngisi sa kanyang labi. Good Lord, he looked so delicious underneath me.

“Oh, don’t try me Ale. Memories of me riding your c**k are still vivid in my mind.” I moved my hips and rocked above him. Oh, s**t. His hard manhood rubbing my s*x is sending me shivers.

“Oh, f**k, Bea.” He grunted. Naglabasan ang litid sa kanyang leeg. His hands gripped my hips and pulled me closer to him, our foreheads rubbing together.

I darted my tongue and traced the lines of his mouth. He moaned sexily. “You want me to dance above you? You want me to take my clothes off? I can do all those things, Ale. I am not made of glass. I want you to go hard and harder on me. I want you to fill me with all of you.”

Another series of curses fell from his lips. “Jesus, when did you become this wild, baby?”

“When I’m this desperate. So please, take me back to the island now. I don’t want to waste any more time. We have wasted enough.”

He sighed in resignation. “Okay. Let me call my pilot.”

“That’s better.” I was about to move away from him, but Alejandro’s hand stop my head by holding my nape in place. His hot mouth met mine and kissed me savagely. His kisses were demanding, fierce and in uncontrolled manner. But I don’t care. I kissed him back and let my tongue played along with his.

We stopped when he heard the doorbell ringing. Pareho kaming naghahabol ng hininga. “That must be our food delivery.”

“Perfect. I’m famished.” I smiled at him at umalis sa kanyang ibabaw. Bago ako tuluyang lumayo sa kanya, I cupped his throbbing manhood and gave it a squeeze.

“Tease.” He groaned.

I cockily raised my eyebrow at him and gave him a wink saka tuluyang lumabas ng silid para buksan ang main door.

***********

Iginala ko ang tingin sa buong façade ng kastilyo Salvatore. Ilang taon na rin ang nakalipas at kahit ganunman, halos walang pinagbago ang taglay na kagandahan nito. My eyes darted at the particular tower. Alejandro’s pad.

I took a deep breath to contain the fast beating of my heart. Wala akong dapat ipag-alala. Alam ko sa sarili ko na anuman ang malaman ko, walang magbabago sa damdamin ko sa kanya. In fact, kahit na hindi ko pa malaman ang buong kwento niya, okay lang sa akin. Kaya ko lang naman gustong tumungo dito ay para pagbigyan ito at para pumanatag na rin ang kanyang kalooban. Para sa ikapayapa naming dalawa, at para wala ng sikreto na kailangan pang itago, handa akong alamin ang lahat-lahat.

When Alejandro came back to my life, I knew that I’m gonna face another pain. When there’s love, there’s pain. And even though Alejandro broke my heart back then, it was not enough to unlove him. I guess unloving him is an impossible thing to do. It’s futile.

Alejandro draped his arm on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”

I nodded. “I am, Ale.”

He guided me as we went inside. Pagpasok sa main living room, doon ko pa lang nalaman ang kaibahan ng noon at ngayon. Noon, puno ng muwebles at antigong kasangkapan ang loob. Ngayon, sala set na lamang ang naiwan at iilang paintings.

“I took full ownership of the island. Kaya lahat ng mga gamit na hindi kailangan sa kastilyo ay pinatanggal ko. I shipped my mom’s things to their house in Manila. The rest, I donated to some institutions and charities.”

I nodded. Kaya naman pala.

“My parents are not allowed to enter the island without my permission.” He added.  

I looked at him. I knew what he meant by that. He’s telling me that his parents can’t do any harm on me when I’m in the island. His parents, especially his mother, are probably remained as ruthless as before. I guess, some things never change.

Alejandro wrapped his arm around my waist as we walked down the hallway. My hair prickled as memories from the day we prepared for Alejandro’s birthday party flashed before me.

He opened a certain door. “This will be your room.”

My brows furrowed. “My room? Are we not going to share a room? At bakit dito? Hindi ba sa dati?”

He cleared his throat. “I don’t sleep in my pad anymore, Bea. I spend most of time in the pad but when the night falls, I sleep there.” He pointed a door across mine.

“Why is that?” Nagtatakang tanong ko.

He shrugged his shoulders. “I can’t sleep there. I tried but I ended up crying the whole night.” He swallowed. “It just feels different without your presence.”

My heart constricted with pain by his words. “I want to go there.”

“You have to. You will find the whole truth in my room.” His eyes flickered with fear.

I filled my lungs with air. “Will you come with me?”

He shook his head. “No. Once you learn the truth, and if you decided to accept and forgive me, you have to come down and find me, Bea. But if you decided to leave the island, that’s okay. I have instructed my pilot for standby. He will fly you back to Davao any time you want tonight. And from then on, I promise you, I will never disturb you anymore. I will disappear in your life like a bubble.”

I nodded. I suddenly felt scared of what I was about to learn, but one thing was certain. I would still choose to love him.

I let go of his hand and turned my heels toward the door, but my steps halted when Alejandro spoke.

“Baby….” His voice laced with sadness.

I tilted my head to look at him. “Hmmm?”

His eyes pleading. “Please seek me with your whole heart.”

I gulped and all I could manage was to force a smile.

It’s now or never for us.