I sat at the desk against the window, doodling like I often did. Not that I was any good at it. I liked seeing how many different colors I could use and pratice highlighting and shading the pictures I colored. My green eyes dazed out the window that had metal bars covering it, to ensure I didn't climb out. When I started to feel like I wasn't a prisoner, I looked out the window and remembered that I was.
Days had turned into weeks and we were still trapped here. I was still unable to leave Alpha Remus's room without him accompanying me. A couple of times I had convinced him to take me outside for fresh air. The entire time, he held fast to my hand as if I was going to sprint off at any moment. It was probably true, but it was annoying.
There were a couple of evenings he tried to take me on a date. Some evenings he tried to talk to me and actually get to know me. He said it was because I was going to be his Luna. He wanted to know more about his future Luna and chosen mate. He said he wanted to make me as happy as he could given the circumstances. At first, I took it as him trying to make me more submissive to him and complacent in the situation. More wrapped around his finger.
I was defiant and reluctant to be his friend, but I still had to willingly give in to his guilty pleasures time and time again as he hoped for me to have his heir. Each time I felt like I was losing more and more of myself. Each time I became more and more submissive to his every whim. More and more my spirit was becoming broken.
"Hello, my love," Alpha Remus entered the room a bit earlier than I had expected. I slowly turned around in my chair to look at him. The area between my legs immediately began to throb knowing what likely was about to happen once again. I guilty was starting to look forward to it. I found myself embaressingly starting to want it. I hated myself for feeling this way, and I didn't understand why I did.
"Hi," I said softly as his towering form walked up to me. He had a caring smile on his face. He reached out to me and gently cupped my chin. His finger stroked against my throat. Wetness was already starting to pool between my legs as I imagined him taking me in my mind. More self hatred formed deep in my chest. I was so conflicted, but all I could do was willfully submit.
He leaned it with a sly smile. His eyes gazing into mine. They flashed black momentarily, which told me he had picked up on the scent of my arousal.
"I love that you want me," he said in a low grumble. "But first I have news to tell you," he said. He pulled his hand away and stood up straighter. I tilted my head to one side curiously while waiting for him to explain.
"I made an announcement today to the pack that we would be having your Luna ceremony in two days. After that, I'm going to mark you," his grinned widened.
"I'm going to really be a Luna?" My eyes shimmered up at him. It was like living a dream for a little werewolf girl, but my reaction quickly shifted. He wasn't my mate. He killed my family, I reminded myself. I was trapped as the mate to the murderer of my family and pack. I felt the bitterness return as I looked away from him.
"As temperamental as ever I see," he said with a sigh and his smile fading away. "You women and your mood swings."
"You killed my family," I said numbly, looking down at my colorful picture sitting on the desk in front of me.
"Your pack was getting out of control with their power. I don't expect you to understand pack politics," he said crossing his arms over his chest. I knew he was lying. He was saying things to try and get me to be on his side.
I couldn't allow myself to fall for it even though I was struggling. I was struggling not to believe him. I wanted to believe in the kindness he showed me. I had to remind myself I wasn't allowed outside alone for I was a prisoner. I was a house slave among the omegas before I was here. I was only here because my wolf is unique and he wants strong heirs. I was nothing, but another pawn for him to play with. Another pawn in whatever plot he had going on.
"The morning of the ceremony, Kira will be up to help you get ready. She told me that she already has a few dresses for you to pick from," he told me. I nodded sadly at him. "Cheer up, you are going to be a Luna. Most shewolves would die for that," he said, but I still remained silent and stared at the picture on the desk.
He leaned in over me, placing both of his hands on the desk. I felt his body grazing against mind from behind.
"I know what will cheer you up," he began. "You can't hide your arousal from me," he whispered menacingly.
"Please, don't," I begged as I often did. Though lately, I admit that there were times I was eager for it. He grabbed me by my hair and pulled it upwards for me to follow. He led me to the bed.
"It's our agreement, my mate," he reminded me once more and I immediately submitted to his wishes without another word.
The next couple of days went by quickly, and before I knew it, it was the morning of the Luna ceremony. For the first time, I woke up before Alpha Remus to the sun bleeding through the bedroom window. I had grown accustomed to him waking me every morning to him using me to please himself in one way or another. This morning I felt shamefully deprived.
He was spooning me from behind and I pressed my body further against his. His large form was warmly wrapped around me. I sunk deeper into him and made sure my hips lined up with his. I started needing grinning against him. What the hell was wrong with me?! My face flushed and all rational thought had flung out the window. I needed to be used. I was becoming dependant, maybe even brainwashed? Wasn't there another word for this? It kept slipping my mind. All I could think of was my body's needs.
I moaned softly as I grinned myself against his growing member. He stirred awake and moved a single hand onto my waist. He deeply groaned, feeling my movements.
"You are learning my little mate," he said triumphantly in my ear. We were asleep without any clothes and I knew he could feel my dripping wetness as I rubbed against him. Moments later, he slipped himself inside and tightly grabbed each of my hips with one hand. He plunged deep and and sighed even deeper. My hands grabbed the sheets as I let out my own moans. I didn't hold back. I kept moving myself until he held onto me so tight that I couldn't. All I could do was brace the bed as he aggressively took control.
Once he was finished, he got up and started to get dressed. He left me in the bed dripping with his seed.
"I told you my little mate, you will get used to me taking you every day," he told me as I laid there panting heavily to try and catch my breath. I wondered what Vesper would say to me if she could hear me. She would be disgusted with my actions. I still had a true mate out there and this Alpha was a monster. Yet, I couldn't hear Vesper, I could only vaguely feel her stirring in the depths of my mind. I was still being fed wolfsbane day and night to keep her subdued. Alpha Remus didn't want to take any chances of me escaping and there was no telling what made my wolf have different colored eyes.
Alpha Remus had told me a few theories of his. That she was blessed by the moon goddess or that she was a decendant from the primordial werewolves. Or even a decrndant from one of the Lycans. Lycans were related to the primordial werewolves, or the original werewolves. They were much more powerful and much larger than a typical werewolf. However, he explained that they kept to themselves in a pack in the far, northwest corner and rarely interfered with the werewolf packs.
After he left, I slipped into the shower and spent the next hour trying to wash away my shame. I scrubbed my skin until it was raw and starting to bruise in some places. I let tears fall from my eyes as I sobbed in the shower, the sound of rushing water drowned out my cries. I tried to have the delicious soap scents soothe my aching body and my aching heart.
My shower was eventually interrupted by Kira knocking on the bedroom door. I quickly turned the water off and wrapped a towel around me. Then walked up to the door and answered it, but it wasn't Kira or even Alpha Remus.