Before After

CHAPTER IV

Chapter IV

Not Like a Savior

IT was like an airborne disease, a word of mouth passed from the other to another. The news was passed on like that, and now, everyone else at Crawfordsville High knew how the Kaiser Aldeguer was caught off guard—speechless and unable to answer a question.

            At first, it was unthinkable for the students that Kaiser wasn’t able to answer a question. He was really intelligent, though he didn’t look like a geek. And if he’d be considered a geek, he was probably the most handsome and the coolest. That was why the fact that he hadn’t answered the question of their science teacher bewildered everyone. But along with this issue, someone else’s name was dragged.

            “He was really speechless. It was like he really had no idea. Just then, somebody raised a hand and answered the question as if it was the easiest thing in the world!” Wendy had heard this from someone as she was walking along the corridor. She saw bunch of girls forming a circle as they were gossiping.

            “And who was that brave one?” asked another.

            “It was the new girl in the pilot class. I think her name’s Wendy,” answered another.

            “That new girl’s fearless. No one had the courage to beat Kaiser in the academics,” someone commented.

            “No!” countered another. “She obviously has no manners! How dare her to just pull the spotlight from Kaiser’s hand. I’m sure he’ll be able to answer it if she didn’t interfere.”

            Wendy had countlessly heaved a deep sigh as she could hear nothing that morning but the news about Kaiser being speechless, and she, intruding. It was such a pain in the ear to hear her name being dragged in such a nonsensical issue. So what if Kaiser couldn’t answer the question? And what was there to fuzz about when she answered it? She was irritated with the shallowness of everyone.

            But what was making her feel more irritated was the fact that now everyone had their eyes on her. She was no longer invisible. She was no longer just the new girl. She was now the girl who beat the best out of Kaiser. And she was torn between putting the blame on the shallow minds of Crawfordsville High’s students or to herself. Because she had promised to continue being invisible, but her competitive bones couldn’t easily be restricted.

            “Hi!” Wendy raised her head forcefully when someone intruded, snatching her from her deep thoughts. She was sitting lonesome at a table in the isolated part of the cafeteria. And the girl who just called her was standing right in front of her, holding a tray of her own food. The girl was giving her a friendly smile.

            “Can I sit here?” she asked. Wendy looked around and saw many vacant seats in the cafeteria. Honestly, she wanted to be alone.

            “Well, it’s kinda noisy there. I’m sick and tired of listening to their crazy gossips,” the girl explained though Wendy didn’t ask her anything. Then, the girl just sat at the seat in front of her.

            “My name’s Sera. Sera Angela Finn. You’re Wendy, right?”

            Wendy could only nod as an answer to Sera. She couldn’t believe how comfortable Sera had made herself in front of her. She was now eating in front of Wendy, as if it was the most natural thing to do, as if it was the most casual thing two people next to strangers would do.

            “How’d you know me?”

            Sera looked at her as if she just blurted out a very stupid question. But then, she smiled at her. The girl had a beautiful smile. She had a set of pearl-like teeth. Sera indeed possessed that striking physical appearance—that kind that would draw people’s attention. Her complexion was as white as snow. Her hair was perfectly beautiful even when it was messed a little. But as Wendy saw it, she acted like she was not aware of the beauty she possessed.

            “Well, aside from the fact that everyone’s been talking about you, I am also your classmate,” she answered, which made Wendy’s mouth dropped open. How could she be that oblivious about Sera’s existence?

            “I sit at the left side of the last row, that’s probably why you hadn’t noticed me,” Sera said like she’d read her thoughts. “Don’t worry; it’s okay.”

            Wendy just nodded. She felt too awkward to talk. And she didn’t know how to start the conversation.

            “Hey, aren’t you gonna eat your food properly?” Sera asked her. And that was when she realized that she was only turning her fork but not really eating.

            “I guess being everybody else’s topic will make you out of the mood to eat,” Sera commented. The girl now laid her utensils down and stared at her. Sera looked at her as if she was a piece of puzzle that had to be solved. “Do you know why this is a big deal for everyone?

“Because everyone likes Kaiser?” she answered, unsure.

            “Because Kaiser’s an elite. He’s considered the Emperor here. And everyone’s afraid to do something against him and the elites, because the last time someone attempted, everything turned like chaos to that brave soul.”

            Wendy just stared at Sera. She didn’t know whether the girl was trying to scare her of the consequences of what she did, or was only trying to let her know the history. Well, truth be told, she didn’t find it scary or threatening. She found it real absurd.

            “So you’re saying that I did the wrong thing, and that I should repent for it and ask for the emperor’s forgiveness before he does something terrible to me?” she asked, her voice tainted with sarcasm.

            “No! What I meant was that you’re brave!” Sera said with conviction. Now, Wendy had her forehead crumpled.

            “It’s time to kick those kings out of their invisible thrones!” Sera added, her hands swaying to emphasize her statements. “And you’re the one who can do it!”

            Wendy felt her head spun with what she heard. Was this girl in front of her insane?

            “What—wait? Why me? Are you kidding me?” She wanted to shout aloud at Sera to knock some sense to her seemingly unaligned mind, but she could only whisper those words intently so as not to attract attention.

            Sera just shrugged, as if she was totally oblivious of the irate Wendy. “I’m not joking around here.”

            Wendy saw the seriousness in Sera’s eyes. The latter c****d her head to the other side, and Wendy mindlessly followed where Sera’s eyes were leading her to. She saw a group of nerd looking girls sitting together in another table, talking with hushed voice, their movements so small that if Sera didn’t look at that direction, Wendy wouldn’t have noticed their existence. Just then, a group of rude-looking boys came, and told something to the nerds. The girls looked uneasy. They wanted to leave the table, but the guys won’t let them. And Wendy was sure, even if she was not hearing a thing, that the girls were being bullied.

            “A lot has been experiencing that. Not just those girls, but all those who are in the lower section of the caste system. Everyone who’s in the higher ups thinks that those subordinating them are only pieces of trash that deserve to be treated that way. And that’s because of Kaiser and his freak friends.”

            “As you probably already know, the students in this school are arranged in a hierarchy. It’s not something that the school itself created, but it’s a classification the students naturally put themselves into also because we know what we can afford. Those in the higher ups are from families that own big companies. As privileged as they can be, they are the ones who can enroll in the special programs of the school—recreationals like arts, music, dance, sports, and so on. All their recreational activities are exclusive to them. Those in the middle class, on the other hand, are from families whose parents occupy an important position in the companies owned of those from the higher ups, or those whose family owns a relatively smaller business. They also enroll in special programs, but rather than recreational, these are called extra-curriculars and it’s not as exclusive as those held for the higher ups. Then we have the lower class which classifies all the scholars and sponsored students—the geeks, the weirdos, the nerds, and all those who couldn’t fend for themselves. Those whose parents do not have a company they manage. Those who struggle to enroll in extra-curriculars even though it’s a requirement.”

            “Sometimes, the treatment on an individual is different. It depends on many factors. But what’s certain is that if you’re at the lowest level, you’re more vulnerable,” Sera continued as they both watch the nerdy girls try to ignore the pestering boys. She saw the nerdy girls struggle as the boys had those foolish grins on their faces. They clearly knew that those girls were helpless.

            “You don’t seem to belong in the lower portion of this caste system,” Wendy commented, looking at Sera. Well, Sera didn’t look like the typical brat Wendy could see all over this campus. But she didn’t look nerdy and helpless, too. In fact, behind those chinky eyes she could see an igniting spirit. “Why do you care?”

            “Because I’m also not part of that higher portion. I’m in the middle, seeing things perfectly,” Sera answered straightly.

            “Then why don’t you do it yourself? Kick Kaiser and his guys out of their invisible thrones, and put everyone in their proper place. You can do it yourself Sera. You don’t need me. I am no one.”

            Sera shook her head, her face suddenly downcast. “I wish I can Wendy. But I can't. I’m not just as brave as you. I’m also afraid.”

            Now, it was time for Wendy to shake her head. “No, I was oblivious, not brave. I didn’t know my place. I didn’t know what I did.”

            “No! You clearly had an idea with all that’s happening. Of course, you heard news about Kaiser. You were well briefed by almost all our classmates,” Sera argued. “And let’s say I believe that you were oblivious, would you really step down to the place you’re supposed to be in and bow your head down to Kaiser and his friends? Would you say sorry? Would you admit you’re wrong and take a very nonsensical mistake?”

            For a moment, Wendy was left without a word. She didn’t know how to respond to Sera’s questions. The girl could pass as a lawyer or a prosecutor with her questioning and convincing skills.

Just then, the perfect distraction came. She and Sera simultaneously turned their heads to where the repeated ‘sorry’ was coming from. And it was as if the world stopped momentarily when they saw Kaiser standing in the middle. He was surrounded by her coolly cool looking friends, grins and undeterminable shades of expression on their faces. They were all looking down—down at that nerdy girl who was trying to clean the dirt she must’ve caused on Kaiser’s shoes.

            “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m really really sorry. Please forgive me,” the girl chanted. She really looked scared and pathetic. Her hands were trembling. She was panicking, and it was like she couldn’t do anything right with that anxiety she was having.

            Kaiser finally looked down at the girl with those frigid eyes. Even Wendy, who was only watching, felt the chills ran through her spine with the coldness of his stare. He wore no expression at all, but that alone could inflict fear to anyone who’d be in that girl’s shoes.

            “S-sorry,” the girl muttered again, her eyes wet with tears now.

            Kaiser didn’t say anything. He just took off his dirty shoes and walked with his socks on out of the cafeteria. His friends just shrugged their shoulders, not really caring, and followed suit afterwards, except for Cloud who gestured for the bullies who were pestering the girl a while ago to come near him. He whispered something to them to which the boys just nodded and then he walked away. And when they were gone, that was when everyone felt the freedom to breathe.

            Wendy looked sympathetically at the helpless girl who was now sobbing on the ground. Her other geeky friends could do nothing but to stare as well. And the guys who were bullying them were silent, but with mischievous grins pasted on their lips. Wendy wondered what Cloud told these guys.

            “This is the end of me.” The girl wept.

            Wendy’s gaze shifted from the poor girl to the door where Kaiser had exited.

            He was no like the guy who saved my life.

WENDY had her head buried on the desk, trying to enclose herself into her own walls. Most of her classmates were chatting about things she didn’t really care at all. She was not in the mood to make new friends. Besides, if she wanted to be totally invisible, she needed no company at all.

            But that was not something for her to decide on her own.

            She lazily raised her head when someone poked her on the shoulder. When she had a clear view of her surroundings, she saw Sera smiling down at her. The smile etched on Sera’s face seemed to tell that there was no getting away with her, and Wendy could’ve rolled her eyes if she hadn’t stopped herself.

            “Sleepy?” Sera inquired. She just nodded and buried her face on the desk again. But just as she’d perceived, Sera was unstoppable. Wendy felt Sera’s presence nearer her.

            “Do you remember the girl we saw yesterday?” She heard Sera whispered to her. That got Wendy’s curiosity, but she still refused to face the girl who was talking to her. Call it rude, but there was no way she’d be allowing herself to fall on Sera’s crazy plan.

            “She’s gone.” The reverberating sadness from Sera’s voice made her feel goose bumps. Her heart beat faster and nervousness rushed through her veins. And before she knew it, she was already facing Sera with that horrified look on her face.

            Amusement flashed Sera’s eyes when she saw Wendy’s expression. But that expression was easily erased when the side of Sera’s lips moved up, curving into a small smile.

            “Gone? But—“

            “It’s not what you think it is,” Sera butted in, shaking her head. That calmed Wendy a little. But that was when humiliation kicked its place. With a crumpled face, Wendy was about to turn her head back on her desk, but Sera’s words hang on her ears.

            “But it’s still the same anyway,” Sera continued. “That girl dropped out of school. She’s not gonna be attending Crawfordsville High anymore, or any school, I guess, at least in a matter of years. That depends on how fast she can recover. Or no—maybe the question is, will she ever recover?”

            “Recover on what? Was she hurt or something?” Wendy asked, her brows almost forming a line.

            “Well, yes. She was hurt. She was bullied severely yesterday. Some of our schoolmates ran after her yesterday. They threw anything they can throw to her,” Sera told her. Wendy couldn’t help but to imagine the things that had happened to the poor girl. “Well, she had long been experiencing those things. Actually, it’s just not her, but almost all the geeks, and those who fall under the category of the lower class. But yesterday was the worst for that poor girl.  I think the emperor’s fanatics planned it all out because of what she accidently did to him.”

            “What? And she just allowed those things to happen to her? And for such a long time she was just enduring it all?” Wendy’s voice had gone intense. She felt the rise of a negative emotion in her. “And the teachers? The faculty? What are they doing? That girl could’ve just told the authorities what was happening to her!”

            Sera sadly shook her head. “Remember what I told you yesterday about the hierarchy?”

            She just started at Sera, waiting for her elaboration.

            “Kaiser and his friends—they’re called the elites. And they’re different. They’re a group composed of only five members, but they’re on the highest of the ranks not only because they are all intelligent—the top students of Crawfrodsville High, but also because their families are shareholders of the school.”

Suddenly, an image of Cloud whispering to the guys who first pestered the poor girl yesterday flashed on her mind. And she thought, maybe it wasn’t just the fanatics but the elites themselves who planned it all out.

“So it’s not that simple. Especially if it’s the elites you messed up with. Before something reaches the authorities of the school, you’ll be dead. I mean, everyone in the lower rank’s so afraid that they couldn’t even say a word to the teachers. And besides, there’s no doubt that the authorities you’re referring to would just take the side of the more powerful. That’s how everything’s controlled by the higher ups. They’re that influential. But you now, it’s now always the physical wounds that leave scars, it’s always in the mind.”

            Wendy was speechless. She thought she had long understood how power and status run the world, but now, she felt lost.

            “This campus is cruel, Wendy. Especially to those vulnerable and fragile.”

            Vulnerable and fragile. The words hung onto Wendy’s ears, reverberating into her system. The world was like a huge forest where hunters would keep on chasing those who are weaker than them. And Wendy didn’t like the idea. But what could she do? She had to keep herself safe. Because just like them, she was also vulnerable and fragile. She was a sheep trying to dress like a grasshopper, wanting to hide herself into the leaves.

            Yes, I am a grasshopper.

            Now, her perspective became clearer. She knew her purpose here. “Sera, I don’t care,” she said, her voice laced with icy coldness. Sera looked at her, disbelief written in her whole face. “I don’t care about anyone else but myself. So you cannot pull me to wherever you want to pull me.”

            Just then, the bell rang and seconds later, Miss Fate emerged at the door and walked toward her table in the middle. The young teacher was holding a bunch of papers, aside from her science books and class record.

            “Good morning class,” Miss Fate greeted with a smile etched on her lips. She glowed like the sunshine, and her students were once again drawn into her light. Science really fitted Fate. Their classroom was like the universe, and she was the sun. Her students were the planets revolving around her. This was her own galaxy.

            Miss Fate’s hand rested in the pile of papers on her table. “I have here the result of your quiz last time. Do you wanna know who got the highest score?”

            The class remained silent, staring knowingly at each other. They knew, and nothing would ever surprise them to know, that Kaiser was the highest. No one had ever beaten him in any quiz or activity. That guy was so effortlessly intelligent. He wouldn’t be seen reading notes because he didn’t even need notes to be the best.

            “Congratulations Mr. Aldeguer. You got all the correct answers.” Miss Birner announced, giving the paper to the emotionless Kaiser.

            “Let us also congratulate Miss Kirst for perfecting the quiz. Let’s give these two a round of applause.”

            Silence hung at every corner of that room. Awkward and meaningful glances were shared by the class. They were all flabbergasted to hear the news.

            “Problem, everyone?” the young teacher c****d her head a little, staring at her students. She seemed clueless with all this awkward silence. “Don’t worry dears. You all got pretty good scores, too. And I’m sure that you can perfect the next quizzes.” She smiled, trying to bring the energy and enthusiasm back to her students. Then, she returned to calling the names of the succeeding students who got high scores.

            The breeze of awkwardness was hanging in every corner of that room. No one uttered a single word. Mere silence, but it was that kind of silence which made Wendy felt breathless and suffocated. It was more than a deafening silence—it was a screaming quietness that made her want to just vanish into thin air. She felt the shackles casted to her by the shallowness of her new world.

But her inner spirit was shouting inside of her, making complaints. It just couldn’t stop and sit there in the middle and conform to the norm of her new world. It just couldn’t take the fact how so absurd it was that she found herself so burdened because of getting a perfect score in a quiz. Just how ironic it is! But she was pretending to be a grasshopper… a grasshopper.

“And, I have another announcement to make,” said Miss Birner that caught Wendy’s attention. The strings of awkwardness were suddenly cut, and all of the class were looking at their teacher, all ears to what she would say.

Miss Birner’s eyes twinkled and a smile—a knowing smile—curved her thin red lips. “Since this is the pilot section, you are all aware that most of the school’s representatives to different competitions are from this class. The annual science fair will be in a few months, and I was advised by the Science department that as early as now, I should pick up a candidate.”

            Students began to mumble things to one another. Again, all of them shared the same thing.

            “Kaiser will be this year’s representative again in the quiz bee, no doubt,” Wendy heard someone whispered to another. And that didn’t shock her anymore. With how everyone was reacting when it came to Kaiser and his greatness, this was not news anymore for her.

            The chatting girls suddenly looked at her direction, and there was something that was unwelcoming and unsettling in their eyes that she cut the eye contact. She turned away from them, only to see Kaiser, who was sitting at the seat on her back, looking outside with a bored look on his face.

            So this isn't news to him, too, she thought. But then, the longer she looked at his face, the more she realized that it was not just superficial boredom she could see in him. The boredom she saw in his eyes was so profound and haunting. For a moment, she felt that it was calling her. She felt like she wanted to dig deeper. How could someone look so uncommitted to the world?

            “However, this year’s science fair will be different from the previous years. Well, not so different, actually. The other categories will still stay as is. But, the quiz bee category will now be a team competition, and by team, that means we’ll have to have two representatives for the quiz bee who’ll work as a team.”

            Another buzz of mumbles erupted from the class. Now, Wendy’s eyes were no longer staring at Kaiser. But nothing was making sense to her anymore. She didn’t even know what the fuzz was all about. Because, she was distracted by that unfathomable cloud of emotion she saw in Kaiser’s eyes.

            “The quiz that we had was actually not just a quiz, but it was a test,” Miss Birner’s words reverberated through Wendy’s ears. Now, her eyes were fixed on the teacher, her mind was trying to synthesize what their science instructor was saying. “The questions written there, if you would notice, were not just about what we tackled last time. Its scope was general. That was because I wanted to assess your knowledge in science. And in that test, the people who emerged to have the highest knowledge in the subject are of course, our topnotchers, Miss Kirst and Mr. Aldeguer. And as the topnotchers, that qualifies them as the school’s representative to the upcoming Science Fair, quiz bee category.”

            Wendy heard a loud thud in her heart. It was as if one icy bucket of water was splashed onto her. I am a grasshopper.

            Startled and panicking, she slowly turned to Kaiser’s direction. And then, their eyes met. Those deep eyes with haunting gaze settled on hers, making her heart beat louder. There was something in those orbs that was pulling her into the depths of something unknown. The boredom she saw in those eyes a while back was no longer there, but it was replaced with a cloud of nothingness. No emotions. Empty.

            Feeling that his gaze was too heavy for her to handle, Wendy cut their eye contact. But that was when she realized that more pairs of eyes were settled on her. Awed, surprised, and disapproving eyes.

            I am a grasshopper. I can't get out of my leaves.

            “Wendy and Kaiser, I will talk to you later to discuss things about the quiz bee,” said Miss Birner. There was this tone of finality on her voice. It was as if everything she would say won’t ever be erased. What was on her plan was what should happen, and no one could ever disrupt the form of the things she’d already arranged.

            With a sigh, Wendy just nodded.

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