The Beta's curse (#1 of the Spike pack)

pretty lady

Lana’s P.O.V.

I closed the door of my condo behind me, letting out a big sigh. My emotions were all over the place right now. And I groaned at myself, for even feeling like this at all right now. Once I had seen that Jamie was back in the bar, I had felt how my heart had started to race. I had seen the way he had looked at me. With so much passion, so much hunger and so much need. I basically wanted to drape myself on top of the bar, just for him to keep looking at me like that.

Fuck!

This wasn’t good.

This wasn’t good at all!

I am falling way too fast.

and way too hard!

When he had basically begged Billy to give me a break, I couldn’t stop smiling at the news. I even had to bite the inside of my cheek to stop grinning. Or else the whole world would have been able to see what Jamie really did to me. And once outside, instead of becoming an asshole, which would have made things a lot easier, he turned out to be funny, sweet and caring.

Fuck!

He was just f*****g perfect.

And once he had leaned over and took my hand in his, it felt as if little sparks of electricity had been shooting down my arm. And I had to swallow hard, to try and remain calm, right that second. Because I knew for a fact, that I had never felt this way before, ever. A man had never made me feel like this before. And it honestly scared me. What if Jamie turned out to be the next Robert? I couldn’t keep running away from two sick minds.

But, what if he isn’t a nutcase?

What if he is actually a good guy?

What if he turns out to be the best thing that has ever happened to me?

I threw my keys onto the small table, and started to take off my jacket, before I hung it against the door. My mind was still in a haze, reliving the events of tonight, as I heard my cellphone vibrate. I picked it out of my purse, seeing that the text came from an unknown number.

- This is Jamie, just so you have my number too :-).-

And I smiled at the letters on my screen. Smiling too wide and feeling too happy for my usual self, just by getting a normal text message which told me nothing special. My fingers quickly placed Jamie’s number into my contacts as ‘Mister Hottie’. Before I quickly responded back to him.

-I saved it. Thank you! Lana.-

Right as my text had been sent, three little dots that appeared on my screen told me that Mister Hottie was already replying to me.

-If you ever need anything, no matter what the case, you let me know, OK?-

And I smiled again, knowing how intense his stare at me would probably be, if we would have been having this conversation face to face.

-I will. Goodnight, Jamie.-

-Goodnight, Lana.-

And I sighed again, placing the phone back down, as I stepped into my bedroom to change into my pajamas. I always found it difficult to go to sleep right after work, I always needed some way to make myself relax. To calm myself, before I went to bed. So most nights, I wouldn’t go to sleep before 2 in the morning. Once I got changed into something comfortable, I sat down on my small sofa as I put on the TV, flipping through channels and deciding to watch a romantic movie. And thirty minutes later, I was balling my eyes out, as a cute guy was mourning over his wife, after she had had a car accident and was in a coma, not knowing if she would ever wake up again. And it made me wonder and think about that movie. The way both actors had looked at each other was almost identical to the way that Jamie had been looking at me tonight. And the previous night, four months ago. Was I really going to let this guy get away when he might be the best thing that could have ever happened to me? Maybe he was just being shy and he needed me to take the first step?

Fuck

I hope I’m not overstepping this…

I swallowed, making up my mind, as I picked my phone back up, knowing that Jamie would probably be asleep by now, and his answer would come the next morning. If my text wouldn’t scare him away for good, that is. If it were that case, I would just never hear from him, ever again.

-So, about that date? What were your plans actually? -

I pressed ‘send’ and felt how my heart started to race again. Making me doubt my decision to move so fast and ask him about this ‘date’. Maybe I should have waited a bit? Maybe if I was fast enough, I would still be able to delete the message?

Was I being desperate here?

Was I really moving too fast?

Was I about to scare this gorgeous man away?

Hearing the phone vibrate, it almost made me jump out of my skin. I even yelped, before I leaned down and picked up my phone that had dropped on the floor during my sudden ninja-move.

- What night are you off from work? I want to go on a date with you while you are not working in the bar at least :-)-

I sighed deeply, thanking my lucky stars that at least he had answered me, and still seemed down to go on a date with me. For now.

-Actually, tomorrow is my day off. Is that too soon?-

I bit my bottom lip as I pressed ‘send’ again, waiting for his response.

-Tomorrow is absolutely perfect. I’ll pick you up at 7?-

-great. 7 sounds perfect.-

-Now is normally the part where you give me your address, so I know where I have to pick you up... :-D -

-Oh right, sorry. I’ll wait at the bar. I live close by, so it’s no trouble.-

It remained quiet for some time, as if the fact that I didn’t want to give Jamie my address had hurt his feelings. But I still needed to protect myself, and my heart. Giving my address to a stranger, even a ‘sexy as hell’ one, was still not done. I needed to get to know him better first. And finally, the last text from Jamie came in.

-Great, I’ll see you at 7 in the bar. Sweet dreams, pretty lady.-

I stared at my screen, unable to get the huge grin off of my face, as I looked at the last two words in particular. 'Pretty lady',

He thinks that I’m pretty.

Shit!

Lana, you are so lost to Mister Hottie…

And I sighed, still unable to stop grinning, as I placed my phone back down, shut down my tv and walked over towards my bedroom, where I was finally able to fall asleep.

------------------------------------------

6.45h

Ok Lana

You can do this!

Don’t be such a wuss!

I took some deep breaths to get rid of my never-ending nerves, but nothing seemed to work at the time. I ran into the bathroom, deciding to check on my make-up for the twentieth time already. I wanted to look absolutely perfect tonight.

No,

I need to look absolutely perfect tonight!

It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours since I had last seen Jamie, but it felt as if it had been years. And I found myself missing him, really missing him. And the fact that I had dreamed about his blue eyes and reddish brown wavy and longer hair all night long, did not make this better for me at all. Or the way that I had dreamed about him kissing me, and doing a lot of other things to me and my body. I swallowed hard, pressing my thighs shut and hoping to God that I would even be able to survive this night. I looked at my own reflection in the mirror. I had even gone shopping today, wanting to look perfect tonight. But still not wanting to look ‘desperate’. So, I had bought a new pair of light jeans, and a white sweater. The jeans fitted my legs tightly, while the sweater was loose. I was not giving away all of my skin during date number one, that was for sure. I was wearing my camel boots, making it the first time since coming to Redwater that I would even be wearing heels at all. My make-up was natural, and I wore nude lipstick, making my dark hair pop out even harder with the white sweater. I sighed out hard. Nodding to myself in the mirror.

“You can do this.” I whispered to my own reflection in the mirror.

“You can do this. Mister Hottie is not Robert! You need to enjoy yourself. You can do this! You can have fun with a guy. Especially a hot one.” And I nodded at myself after my own pep talk, as I took my purse and, without thinking any further, walked out of my condo and crossing the street towards the bar, where I was surprised to already see Jamie, sitting on one of our chairs from last night. And seeing how his eyes almost fell out of his head, when he saw me stepping over to him.

“Hey.” He smiled, standing up and, without a second thought, leaning in and kissing me on my cheek. Jamie even seemed to surprise himself with that action of his, seeing how his eyes opened wider and his jaw clenched. Either, he was ashamed to have done that, or it was physically hurting him that he did. Since the last option wasn’t even possible, I went for option number one. So, I decided to just smile wide at him, ignoring the awkwardness. A peck on the cheek wasn’t a problem for me at all. Hell, I wanted him to kiss me…everywhere really.

“So, where are we going?” I asked him, looking around and seeing that, actually, Redwater had about one option for datenight, and that was the place that I called ‘work.’ Jamie laughed, as he rubbed the back of his head, looking nervous, and making him even look cuter with it.

“Want to go for a ride?” He asked me, turning to look at his truck that was standing in the parking lot.

“Sure.” I nodded at him, to which we walked over and jumped into his truck, as he started to drive away from Redwater.

“Soooo…where are we going?” I asked him, which made him grin again, as his eyes locked on mine, before he looked back in front of him towards the road.

“Still a surprise, little one.” And I swallowed hard, as he called me by another pet name. One that I seemed to like even more than the ‘pretty lady’ one. So, I just nodded, sat back and tried to relax myself as much as I could, as I took in my surroundings during the drive.

After about twenty minutes of driving, Jamie parked the car, and it looked as if we were smack in the middle of nowhere. There was literally not one tree, let alone a house or store in sight. So, with that, I could tell for certain, that there was no restaurant around here either. I smiled, looking over at him, without trying to come off as ‘nosy’. And hoping to God that Mister Hottie didn’t turn out to be a serial killer. One could leave a dead body here without anyone finding it for weeks or months.

Dear God…

“Get out of the car.” He smiled at me, so I looked back outside, wondering if I had missed something during my first check of the surroundings.

“And go where?” I asked him, to which he grinned wide and looked down, and it took my breath away, seeing how nervous he really was tonight.

“Actually, the back of my truck.” That did spike my curiosity, so I smiled wide back at him, as I opened the door and stepped around Jamie’s truck, as he did the same. Pulling up a blanket that was placed upon his cargo bed, and picking out something that awfully looked like a picknick basket.

“Since there are no restaurants here for miles, and I don’t want our first date to be in a place where people will start pulling on your arm to get a drink, I decided on bringing the restaurant to us.” He smiled, and I couldn’t help but feel myself falling even harder for him. Nobody had ever done such a thing for me, but Jamie did. He made me feel special. As if I was the center of his universe. And for some odd reason, I wanted to be that for him. I surely wanted to be so much more than just a friend or acquaintance.

Shit, definitely not an acquaintance…

Jamie climbed on the cargo bed and reached out for my hand, pulling me up as soon as I took it. He draped a blanket and sat himself down, patting the spot next to him for me to take a seat.

“Sit down, little one.” He smiled at me, and as I sat next to him, the butterflies in my stomach woke up again, fast.

“So, why did you drive all the way out here?” I asked him, as he leaned back and rested his back against the side of the truck.

“Well, it’s still light now, but once it becomes dark, the views of the stars are pretty amazing here.” He smiled at me, and I found myself getting lost inside his blue eyes, more than I ever would, looking at the stars. Even the milky way, for that matter.

Jamie swallowed hard, and I frowned, because right when I thought that it was the perfect moment for him to lean in and kiss me, he did the exact opposite, by leaning past me, to take out drinks and snacks that he had packed inside the basket. And I felt my heart drop inside of me, knowing how badly I had wanted him to kiss me.

Shit

Don’t place me in the friend zone.

I don’t want to be in the friend zone!

The picnic was lovely, we ate and laughed and had a great time overall. It was almost scary, to find out how much we had in common, and how good we seemed to click on every possible level. It was almost as if Cupid had pulled him by his jacket, and brought him straight towards me.

After we were both done eating, it became darker outside, and the first stars started to come through the night sky. Jamie sighed, as he leaned back against the truck.

“I love the silence here.” He almost whispered, not knowing if he was talking to me, or more to himself.

“Yeah.” I agreed with him.

“It’s a lot more peaceful than living in the big city. That's for sure” I confessed, remembering how stressed living inside a big city could feel like. As if you were constantly rushing, constantly moving along from one place to the next, without stopping and enjoying what was right in front of you for a few minutes.

“You come from a big city?” Jamie asked me, his eyes opening wider in wonder, as he looked at me.

“I thought you had always lived inside of Redwater, to be honest.” He confessed, to which I shrugged.

“Actually no, I arrived in Redwater about half a year ago.” I answered Jamie, wondering if I was doing the right thing by telling him this. My life had been fine and peaceful up until now. Was I about to change that, by telling Jamie what had happened to me before all of this?

“Really? Half a year ago? Why did you come to Redwater, out of all places? It’s literally in the middle of nowhere.” Jamie laughed at me, to which I gave him a sad smile.

“I know, that’s why I chose to stay there. Because it is in the middle of nowhere.” And slowly, I saw how Jamie changed, how it looked as if he was flexing every muscle inside of his body, as I saw him thinking. It almost looked as if he was having an inner battle with himself.

“Why did you come to Redwater, Lana? Are you in some sort of danger?” He asked me softly, while his eyes were flaring with anger.

“Not right now. At least, I hope so.” I spoke, shaking my head and hoping that my answer would calm him down, lighten the mood or even make him laugh.

“Could you be in danger tomorrow, or the day after that?” He asked me, not letting go of the subject at all.

“Anybody could be, Jamie. I don’t see the future.” Jamie rolled his eyes at me, while he shook his head. I knew what he was saying, I just didn't want to answer it truthfully.

“Little one, you know what I mean. Did you run away from something or someone? Are you in any kind of danger?” I swallowed, feeling how my tongue felt thick inside my mouth, as memories of Robert filled my mind fast. I looked down, staring at my fingers that were resting inside of my lap, and I bit my lip, as I slowly nodded my head.

Fuck

What did I just do?

And I was surprised, since I could swear that I heard a light growl, like an animalistic growl, and it felt as if it came from Jamie himself. But I wasn’t really sure, since I wasn’t looking directly at him at the time. I was, however, surprised, as I felt his hand under my chin, as he gently pushed my face up, seeing that he was right in front of me. His lips were only inches apart from mine.

“What happened to you?” He asked me, tilting his head as if he was looking for the answer in my eyes, or even deeper, in my soul.

“Please,” I begged him, seeing how his face fell just a little, as if the fact that I was begging him had hurt him to the core.

“Please…not now. I promise, I will tell you when I am ready. I just… I don’t want to spoil tonight.” Jamie swallowed hard, and his jaw shut tight. It took him three long seconds before he finally nodded. Giving me once again the impression as if he was having an inner battle with himself. As if he wanted to unleash a beast, run down to LA and kill Robert with his bare hands. And I shivered at the thought of it alone.

“Are you cold, little one?” He asked me, but I couldn’t find the words, nor the strength to talk anymore. And when I felt his arms around me, and Jamie gently pulled me into his body, I finally felt myself relax. And I was surprised with myself, as I felt how my own arms folded around his waist. It was almost as if my own body was working on its own, without the use of my brain, or my rational thinking along with it. But I had to be honest with myself, right here, inside the back of this truck, with Jamie, lying in his arms, was the safest I had ever felt in my life.

And I pressed my eyes shut, as I focused myself on his breathing, and the way he was smelling so nicely right now, coming to terms with the fact, that with Jamie, I felt safe.

That with Jamie, I felt like coming home.