The Baby I Never Knew

Chapter 6

Today is the day I’ve been dreading for two long years, my engagement party. I have to put on a show for hours on end all day. If I actually liked Tessa, this task would be a bit more bearable, but alas, I just can’t seem to find anything I like about her. She’s just a younger version of my mother, making my skin crawl. Besides the age difference, the only difference between the two is that Tessa has some pretty features, but not enough to make me overlook her personality.

I get myself dressed and head downstairs. “That needs to go over there; why is this such a hard concept for you to grasp,” Tessa shouted at a decorator. Yup, definitely my mother in a younger form. “Finally, Ryan, we needed you up an hour ago.” She huffed when she spotted me. “Why are you already in your clothes? Honestly, do you even care what you look like?”

“Tessa, you need to take a breath. I’m dressed because no one told me when this party is at. I was also not informed when I needed to be up this morning. If you proceed to yell at me, I will leave for the entire time, and you can host this party by yourself.” I warn. “We both know I have no interest in participating in this charade, but my mother has me by the balls here. I don’t have a f*****g choice!”

She just stares at me dumbfounded. “Are you being serious right now?”

“Dead serious,” I say flatly. I know it’s a little harsh, but I won’t stand here and let her talk to me like s**t.

“Then why did you propose to me?”

“I didn’t. You went through my luggage.”

“Your mom assured me you asked to see me that weekend.”

“Tessa, did you ever stop to think. When have I ever made a point to see you alone in private? I haven’t even been in the same room as you.” I point out.

“I just thought you were being kind. I mean, when we first met, I told you I was waiting until marriage. Your mom was so adamant that you are a gentleman.”

“I am; I’m just not interested in you like that.”

“Then what are we going to do?” She asked. “Our engagement party is today.”

“We don’t have a choice, the party will go on, but you will not be speaking to me like that anymore. I am a person, not your slave.” I reply.

“I was only telling you….”

“You were being a bit bitchy.” I cut her off. “Watch how you talk to me. I take my mother’s s**t because I don’t have a choice, but I will not tolerate it from you.”

“I’m sorry.” She sighed. “I’m just so stressed today.”

“I understand, but we are in this together,” I replied encouragingly. “I will quickly change out of my dress clothes, and then we will work on getting everything ready the way you envisioned it.”

“Thank you.”

I head back upstairs and change into jeans and a t-shirt. I may not want to be in this mess, but I know I’ve already paid for it. Why not have a good party, and be social? As long as Tessa stays in check, I can tolerate pretending to be attracted to her for the party.

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It took us two hours to get everything set up in the backyard. Tessa and I washed up and changed. Now that I’m back in my dress clothes, I go downstairs and wait for Tessa. The plan is for us to exit the house together, hand in hand, with smiles on our faces after everyone has arrived. She wants a grand entrance and to be the center of attention. Rightfully so, considering this party is to celebrate both of us, and she planned this whole thing.

She descended the stairs, followed by my mother, who must have done Tessa’s hair. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, I offered Tessa my elbow to walk out of the house. “You two look so cute together.” My mother cooed. “I’ll see you out there.” She kissed Tessa’s cheek, opened the door, and exited, leaving Tessa and me alone.

“At least it’s a nice day outside.” Tessa sighed. “Are you sure you still want to do this?”

“We can get through today,” I mutter.

“Ryan, tell me, is there someone else?”

“There’s always been someone else, but she doesn’t want me. I’m unsure what you and my mother have discussed, but it’s not what you think.” I reply. “The honest reason I am not attracted to you is because you remind me of my mother, and I’ve never exactly got along with her.”

“She’s so nice.”

“To you, yes. My childhood has been rough, to say the least.” I sigh. “I’m not saying you’re a terrible person; I’m just saying sometimes you come off too strong, and it’s a turn-off for me.”

“Can we try? Would you be willing to give me a second chance? Maybe you’ll see more to me if we spend some time getting to know each other better.” She requested. “As long as I’m not competing for your attention.”

I thought about her proposal for a minute. Mia has made it clear that she doesn’t want me in her life or to give me a chance to talk, but Tessa has given me all kinds of space. Yes, she’s the carbon copy of my mother, but I can try to be nicer to her. After all, this is entirely my mother’s fault; we are in this mess together. “I will try harder,” I answer with a nod.

Tessa gave me a smile. “Thank you.”

“Shall we go?” I ask her. She nods, and I open the door to the backyard. We walk across the yard to the rented tent we have set up for the party. Everyone is sitting at tables as we walk in. They stop talking when they see us and watch as we enter. I honestly feel like this is a setup for a reception, but what do I know. This is what Tessa planned, and this is what we are doing.

We take our seats, have some food, then begin making our rounds to talk with everyone here. My mother announces some games for everyone to play, but those are minimal. This was more of a show than anything else, in my opinion. I’m not entirely sure how an engagement party usually works, but this one seems a bit flashy regarding setup and plans.

The party was only four hours long, but it dragged on for what felt like ages. Now that everyone had left, my mother retired to her study to continue drinking, Tessa turned in for the night, and I find myself wandering the grounds aimlessly. The more I wander, the more I find myself thinking of Mia’s little girl. What is it about that child that floods my brain? My mother told me Mia was only a few months pregnant when I was gone for six months; she is clearly not possibly my child. Maybe it’s how much she looks like Mia that has me thinking about her, or could it be how much she looks like the little girl I thought was my sister from childhood?

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I find myself in the car pulling up to the curb outside Mia’s house. It’s only nine at night, so hopefully, she’s still awake. I glance out my car window and see her parlor light on. I exit my car and walk up the walkway to her door. I lightly tap on the door, hopeful not to wake the child if she’s asleep. The door opens, and Mia is standing there glaring at me, “What?!” she snaps.

“I was in the neighborhood and saw your light on. I figured I’d stop by to see if we can chat.” I reply in a hurry, knowing she can slam the door in my face at any minute.

“Why? What do you possibly have to say to me after all this time? Come to rub your pending nuptials in my face or something? I got your mom running her mouth about me and dragging my name through the mud to my mother. Thanks to her, my mom and I are fighting. I don’t want to be fighting with my mom this week. This is a week; I have enough going on I don’t need to add more to it. Please just leave me alone.” She says, closing the door.

I grab the door to prevent her from closing it. “Mia, please, just give me ten minutes, okay? Ten minutes to talk without you being defensive, then I’ll leave you alone.”

She sighed, “ten minutes!” she turned and walked away from the door. I followed her in, closing the door behind me. I walk up the stairs into her house. She sits on her couch next to a pile of laundry and begins to fold clothing.

I sit on a cushion on the other side of her sectional. I sit quietly, just watching her fold the little clothes for her daughter. When she looks up at me and gives me a look telling me, she’s waiting for me to start talking. “I know I should have ended things with you differently, Mia, and I owe you an apology. I could have been a man about it and reached out to you instead of basically ghosting you, but I didn’t.” I discovered recently that, somehow, Mia’s number was blocked on my account. I should have looked into this before I left overseas, but I didn’t until recently. “I was stupid, and seeing you at the bar the other night, reminded me of what I had. I can’t stop thinking about you, and then I saw you again at the store with your daughter, and I realized I really owe you an apology.”

“Okay, so you’re sorry. You could have saved us both the headache and just apologized already. You’re engaged; she’s charming. I can see your attraction to her. Congratulations.” She smiled at me as she said this.

“Tell me you want me, and I’ll call off my engagement. Tell me that you still have feelings for me.” I pleaded. It’s clear that she wasn’t expecting this from me because her mouth fell open.

“You’re not pinning this on me. If you want to call off your engagement, that’s on you. Your mother already has labeled me the town slut because I kept my daughter’s paternity a secret. I will not be labeled a homewrecker too.” She replies. “You have some nerve… You know that. You come back, and follow me home, then continue to invite yourself over just to beg me to tell you not to get married. Good luck to her; she’s going to need it. Though at least she’s not being kept a secret.”

I grimace a little. “You don’t deny it.” I pointed out.

“There is nothing to deny here. I was your f*****g booty call for three years, and then one day, you were gone. Everyone started talking about how well you were doing, but I got nothing. It’s been almost three years, Ryan… You should have stayed gone.” She said flatly.

I look around the room at everything. From the kid's toys neatly put away to the various pictures on the wall. I spot one picture of an infant with something printed on it. I get up to take a closer look. “She’s going to be two on Saturday?” I ask, turning around to look a Mia. Suddenly everything falls into place. Mia’s child is mine. Everything she has said and her anger towards me was because I abandoned her with my child. My mother somehow managed to block Mia’s number on me and forced me to abandon the woman I love and my child.

“That’s what it says. So, what? Your ten minutes are up; you can leave now.” She states, standing up.

I glance around the room at all the pictures of the little girl. I’ve missed so much already, and my heart is breaking at the thought. “Are you doing a party for her?”

“I want to go.”

“Not a chance.” She snaps.

“I can do the math, Mia. I’m not stupid.” I remark, looking her straight in the eye.

“What are you talking about?”

“She looks like my sister.”

“You wish! She looks like me. She has her father’s smile, but everything else is me.” She argues.

“I want to be part of her life.”

“Why?”

“Don’t make me have to make you do a DNA test. I know she’s mine. The simple fact that you kept it quiet confirms that.” I argue back. “You have been so on edge since I saw her at the grocery store. I know you enough to know when you’re hiding things. I knew her smile looked familiar; when I was at my mother’s house, I saw a picture of me as a kid and noticed.”

“Please lower your voice. I can’t fight to get her back to sleep. It’s a pain.”

“Then stop denying it,” I state, lowering my voice as I try to calm down. “Let me be part of my daughter’s life, please, Mia.”

“This is exactly why no one knows the truth. I know your mother will try to take my baby from me, and I can’t afford to fight her.”

“I won’t allow that to happen. Just please, let me be part of her life.” I beg. “I know you don’t owe me anything, and asking this is a lot, but just think about it. I won’t ask for custody or say anything to my mother; I just want a chance to get to know my daughter.”

“You can’t attend the party. When Paul saw you at the bar last night, he noticed. He approached me and pointed out how much your smile looked like Mackenzie’s. If you’re at the party, everyone will notice.”

“Mackenzie? That’s pretty.” I comment. “Can you please think about my request?” I take a step closer to her, holding her gaze as she’s contemplating my request. I lean in and brush my lips against hers. As much as I try to resist, there has always been something about Mia that has drawn me to her. “We made a beautiful little girl,” I whisper before pressing my lips to hers. I slide my tongue between her lips and pull her closer to me as I deepen the kiss I’ve craved for over two years.

I relish the feel of her lips molding and moving with mine as her body is pressed against mine. This is the way it should be. Us together, letting passion take over. It’s clear to me now that she wants to be with me again, as much as I wish to be with her again. Suddenly, she stopped kissing me and shoved me away as if I had done something wrong. “You’re engaged to someone else. This is wrong. You need to leave and go home to your fiancé.” She states, backing further away from me.

“How can you say it’s wrong when we’ve always felt so right together?”

“It’s wrong because you have a fiancé. It’s wrong because we had to be together in secret whenever you and I were together. She happened because we were careless one night, but she isn’t a secret. I thought long and hard about my decision to keep her paternity a secret because we were a secret. You and I never happened.” She explains. Hearing this pains my heart more than I would like to admit, but she’s right; we had to sneak around out of fear of my mother’s wrath. “You can’t just show up, see me, and expect me to sleep with you again. You can’t just show up after almost three years and ask to be part of my daughter’s life. As far as I’m concerned, you are her sperm donor. You have no claims or responsibilities to her or me. If you try to take me to court, we’ll have a problem since your name isn’t even on her birth certificate, and I will never consent to a DNA test for a toddler.”

“I won’t do that to her or you. You’re right; I understand. I will leave now.” I walk towards the door. “Let me give you some money or something.”

“I want nothing from you. I told you; you have no responsibilities to her. Just please leave; I need to get some sleep.”

“Okay. Good night, Mia.” I say reluctantly as I walk out the door. I sit in my car, processing everything. Is this what I’ve been waiting for? A reason to tell my mother off and to call off this charade of an engagement to Tessa?

I wait until I see the light in her window shut off before I drive away. If she gives me a chance to prove to her that I can step up and be the man she wants and needs, I’ll know that it is my destiny to be with Mia, as I have always felt. I cannot take my mother on without a purpose. I need a reason to throw the life my mother has been planning to the wind. If I do that, I risk losing all the money my father has left me, with no means to support my family. I want to be part of my child’s life and have Mia by my side without losing everything my father intended me to have. I’ve tried to change things at the bank, but I’ve been told my mother has a separate account and cannot change anything on my account. I just hope that it is true.

I return to my mother’s house, park my car and enter through the backdoor. I have no interest in seeing or talking to anyone at this hour. I go up to the room I am staying in and kick off my shoes before dropping into bed with a sigh. My head is a mess right now, and I’m torn. If I call off the engagement, I’ll have to tell my mother why, which would go against everything I just promised Mia. I’ll have to figure out some way to deal with the repercussions.