My Rebellious Luna

BECKY POV After hearing “estás arruinando tu vida” (You are wasting your life) and “eres una tonta” (You’re a fool) from my mother’s lips for the millionth time. I knew it was time for me to go. My parent’s didn’t agree with the path I had chosen, when it came to my career, they considered it a hobby. I knew it was more than that though. It really bothered them that I didn’t go to college like my brother. According to my father I was always the more free-spirited, rebellious and impulsive one out of the two of us. I felt like a failure in their eyes. In their opinion, I was getting too old to continue making all the wrong choices. I’ll admit that my last boyfriend wasn’t the best example of my judgment or lack thereof. You date one guy you didn’t know was married and you’re a puta (w***e). Must be the only puta to have only slept with three men in my life. It didn’t help that I was twenty three and still living with them. I needed to try to make it on my own, a fresh start. Away from their expectations and judgmental looks. That how I ended it up in Washougal, Washington after I moved out three months ago. Everything about this place spoke to me and I could see myself opening up a small photo studio and settling down here. Having grown up in Acton California near horses, mountains and nature, it was a greener version of my home but it still had the city nearby. It didn’t matter that to move here I had to sell my car and deplete my savings in order to rent a small house for six months. I felt the need to prove to everyone, including myself that I wasn’t wasting my time by doing what I love. It felt good to leave my parent’s house, to make my own choices and finally be independent from them. This was me being an adult and handling my own problems from now on. It was a bonus to be able to avoid my mother’s constant appraisal. I’ve been working for a beautiful young woman, Letty, who owns her own Photo studio, we take pictures for weddings and special events. She’s only a couple of years older than me and I hope to one day be like her. Strong, articulate, talented and down to earth. I’m definitely late in the game if she’s my measuring stick. I will say that she picked the perfect place to open up her studio. There are so many beautiful spots here, making it a photographers dream. There is one odd thing about this place. Every time we go to the local recreational areas and parks, I noticed that most or all of the employees were very… tall and good looking. Liker super model good looking. Even the women were taller than I’m used to. I’m not just saying that because I’m not even five feet. Even when we have taken jobs in the nearby cities, the ones closest to Gifford Pinchot National Forrest, all of the rangers and rec employees are drool worthy. I suppose you have to be in shape to be a ranger. That doesn’t explain why some of the employees in some of the small business, look like models. I wondered if they are part of a cult of beautiful forest dwellers or something. I call them that because they have a few houses near the edge of the forest were most of them stay in between shifts. So of course, being the tonta that I am, I would let myself be swayed by one of them. He showed up two weeks after I got here. Checking in on some of the local businesses for his boss. As hell bent as I was to focus on my career and not drink the cool aid… he said and did all the right things. This is the part were my mom would say “como eres pendeja”. (how are you so stupid?) Why am I a pendeja? (stupid) Because after a month of playing hard to get I gave it up. He’s only the third man I’ve ever been with and deep down I knew I was making a mistake. I was just lonely and… a pendeja. (stupid) It’s not like he stopped coming around right after, no, he came back for more, until he didn’t. After a month of coming around, he ghosted me and changed his number. We never really defined what was going on between us or anything but, he acted as if he was into me. I even suspected he was going to make things official between us. Point is, I let myself get caught up. Maybe I just saw what I wanted to see. Or maybe he got tired of me and moved on. What happened Matt? Flashback BECKY POV Two weeks ago There is something intriguing about this man. I can’t place my finger on it, but it’s something primal. Although I can sense he’s hiding something and that alone has me on guard. I may have let him in my bed but there is no way I’m letting him in my heart without knowing more about him. “Becky, what are you thinking about?” Matt says as we lay together. For some reason I can’t seem to get into cuddle mode with him. It doesn’t feel right and although the s*x is great, it feels hollow. “Nothing…” Before I can finish lying, he turns over and pulls me closer. “Hey, I can sense something is wrong. You can tell me.” He seems sincere but I’m not so sure I can trust him. There is something, a gut feeling, that says to keep my walls up. On top of that, aside from the s****l release we get from one another. I’m not sure we have that connection. He’s handsome, sexy and a nice guy that appears to want something more. Yet we both seem hesitant to take that step. As if we both have doubts or reservations. He’s hiding something, I’m sure of it, or am I just jaded? “Why don’t we ever go to your place?” I ask, waiting for this week’s excuse. “You know I live with a bunch of guys. It isn’t exactly a romantic setting.” He chuckled and kissed my forehead. I pushed him away gently and got out of bed mumbling on my way to the restroom. “Yeah, or your wife and kids.” He groaned and got up. There is no way he could have heard me since I was already clear across the room and said it lowly, and yet he did. Strange. “Becky! I already told you that I don’t have a wife or even a girlfriend. I just don’t have a place of my own.” He assures me. I squint my eyes but nod my head reluctantly and join him for round two in the shower. Time will tell. End of flashback I just wish he had at least had the balls to say something. Let’s just be friends, it’s not you it’s me. It could have been worse, the only thing I’m suffering from is my hurt pride. Aside from that little Snafu, most of the forest dwellers are nice. There are a few that walk around like they own the place, as if we are in their territory and us non-super model people are unwanted. Letty and I are finishing a shoot in Dougan Falls, and I’m packing up my gear. I hear a car drive up and park on the other side of my boss’ vehicle as I continue to focus on what I’m doing. The sound of the car door slamming shut gets my attention as heavy footsteps grow louder as they approach me. “Little girl! Where are your parents?” This asshole again, he’s done this twice before. Normally most of the rangers are nice enough, even respectful. This asshole makes it a point to mess with me every time. Yes, I’m short, but anyone with eyes can see I’m not a child. I could pass for barely legal but he’s just being a d**k. The smug look on his face makes me want to throat punch him. If I didn’t need this job I would rub my work ID, that I’m wearing around my neck, in his cara de sapo. (toad face) “I’m a photographer, my parents are back home. Where are yours?” My bored tone is accompanied by the fakest smile I can muster. I’m done reminding him that he’s already harassed me, he didn’t seem to care the last time I told him. During our first encounter, I ignored his smugness and laughed, explaining that although I happen to be fun size I am indeed an adult. He did not find it funny. I have no idea what I did to get on his bad side but he enjoys keeping me there. “You can either call your parents over or show me some identification.” He scowled at me. I didn’t bother replying. Removing the lanyard from around my neck, I turned the identification I was wearing around so he could see it and put it front of his face. As close as I could get anyway, he had to crouch down a little to read it. AGAIN! I looked around to see if my boss was back, but she was nowhere to be found. He took in his hand, pulled it closer to him, making me stubble forward, and almost bump into him. “I can get my state ID from the car if you want, I just need to wait for my boss to come back with the keys.” Taking a few steps back, I put a hand on my hip and a raised eyebrow as I looked up at Mr. Scowly face, as I like to call him. He got closer than I would like and I could swear he sniffed me but he scoffed, so I couldn’t be sure. That was new. Narrowing his eyes at me, he walked away. There is defiantly something the water around here. Maybe if I drink enough of it I’ll grow a few more inches.