Love and Fear

21-Kill or be Killed

Lucy POV

My nightmares had only gotten worse since my vision at the hot spring. I had agreed to move with Killian into the Master Suite, I was now the Luna, and my rightful place was with Killian in the Alpha Luna quarters. It was a beautiful room. A large king-sized bed, fireplace with two reading chairs, a walk-in closet larger than my house growing up, a large balcony with couches and a table with incredible views of the mountains. I really couldn't believe Killian was waiting for his Luna before he moved in. I would have moved in sooner if I were him. But he's not what I expected. He has a soft side, a traditional side. I would never have expected him to have.

I had been searching for Jacob. Ellen had even cast some light spells to find him, but without anything of his, it would be hard to track. I burned everything he ever gave me after that night. I still wonder what they would have done had Axel not found me. A shudder rips through me as I try to calm my nerves in the chair by the fireplace. The flames lick the wood as more pieces of embers fall. It's mesmerizing watching the fire, forgetting my past, my fears, my long list of responsibilities I now have as a Luna and mate. Axel and Lanie plan to leave and go back to the Bennet pack to get ready to take it over. I don't want Lanie leaving until I've killed Jacob. He's proving harder to find than I initially thought. This anxiety keeps me up at night. Nothing takes the dreams away, not the herbs Ellen made me, not even the safe comfort of Killian's arms. I watch over and over again as Jacob tortures Lanie. I can't erase the images. The sister I thought I lost, now being tortured because of me. Killian's voice invades my mind.

"Lucy, baby, come back to bed. Stop obsessing. I can feel your anxiety through the bond, and it's not healthy for you."

Slowly I stand up, stretching. I fold my lap blanket and place it on my chair. I climb back into bed and try to fall asleep. Instead, I just watch the clock as the hours and minutes tick by. I watch Killian sleep the rise and fall of his chest. He really was the most beautiful man I'd ever laid eyes on. The mate bond was not what I expected. I had only read books on it. I never got to witness it for myself. I never truly felt loved except Axel, but that was more of how I felt for Lanie, protective like it was my duty to keep her safe. I feel like that is how Axel views me. Someone, he has a duty to take care of because I had no one else.

I watch the sunrise through the big window overlooking the balcony. I slowly sneak out of bed, grab my blanket and make my way out to the patio. I snuggle up with my blanket and book on the big wicker chair. The sun over the mountains is breathtaking. I get lost in my book, a wolf of make-believe, somewhere to escape what my life is really like. I am about to find out what happens when I hear the sliding glass doors, and it hits my senses. I almost melt when I smell it! COFFEE. I turn to see Killian holding two cups of coffee and a pair of big socks.

"Have I told you I love you lately?" I smirk at Killian.

"No, you haven't actually...."

"I was talking to the coffee...." I laugh, and Killian shakes his head and slides in behind me on the chair. He slips my big socks on and nestles his face in the crook of my neck from behind me, careful not to spill my coffee or disrupt my reading.

“Are you ready for today?" He asks

"Um.... sure?" I turn to give him a questioning look.

"do you even know what day it is?"

" sure I do.. it's Wednesday." I say proudly

" no, it's Sunday. Axel and Lanie are leaving today. I figured that's why you didn't sleep at all last night."

"that's not the only reason. Can't you make them stay here?"

"No, I can't. Lanie needs to take her rightful place as Luna and Axel as Alpha."

"This sucks. I wish Axel weren't Lanie's mate sometimes, then he could stay here, and I wouldn't lose them both."

"actually, has Axel told you anything about his biological father?"

"nooooo, I thought they didn't know who he was!"

"Well, as it turns out, their aunt Bonnie had a photograph, and it turns out I know him. He was friends with my father. He's not a good man, but I don't hate him. He's old school, traditional werewolf."

"Ummm, so does he know he has a son and Daughter??"

"I haven't reached out to him yet; Ellen said she wasn't ready, and I will respect my beta female."

"What did Axel say about it??" At this point, I had totally turned around and was sitting with my lady bit rubbing on Killians not so soft junk. I could feel Killian trying to restrain his thoughts of how we were seated so we could finish our conversation.

"Axel didn't say much. He said he would do whatever Ellen wanted. As far as he was concerned, his father is Kade and Theo is just a Sperm donor. "

"Ya, Kade is a really good man. He's the reason Axel turned out the way he did."

"There is something else, Lucy. It could get complicated with Axel being the firstborn to Theo and not his son Damon who is currently the alpha of their pack."

"wait, wait, wait! Axel and Ellen have a brother???" I couldn't process this information. I got up and started pacing.

" Yes, and two sisters. Let me finish. Theo is what they call and pure bread Alpha. He was born to both alpha parents. His mother and father have all been born to alphas. That is why Axel is so strong and big. He isn't just an Alpha. He comes from quite a strong line of Alphas. Without any training, he will be more powerful than I am once he claims his Alpha title. That could cause some problems with Damon once he finds out. He isn't the rightful Alpha Blood moon pack."

" Woah! Talk about a mic drop!" I was utterly stunned by this news information. If Axel is this mighty Alpha and Lanie is this powerful Luna! How does this all work? Lanie needs to get serious about training and being able to defend herself.

"What's mic drop?"

"hahaha, it's an expression like holy moly."

"Ah, ok."

"Now they really can't leave! If this Damon tries to challenge Axel, it could put Lanie in danger!!! I think I'm going to be sick! How do I protect her from everything? Hunters, Angry Alphas. This is so unfair! I can't.... I can't.....I can't do this.

Lucy couldn't control her emotions, and she shot out a burst of energy. Knocking her back into the wall. Before Killian rushed her down to the infirmary, he looked out, and the was a massive fire where Lucy shot that burst of energy. This was new. Killian wasn't sure how she was supposed to handle all this. He knew too much had been put on Lucy, and while she was tough, noone at 18 should be under that much presure. Even though he was 15 when he became Alpha. He got Lucy to the infirmary, the doctor and nurses got her an Iv and stared trying to wake her up. She exerted so much energy at this point they didn't know how long she would sleep for. Killian had Axel and Lanie meet him in the court yard to talk about them possibly staying another week. Ellen was able to put out the massive fire Lucy started with a simple rain spell. That could have gotten out of hand quickly. Thank the Moongoddess we had a witch in our pack, Killian thought to himself before going to check on Lucy again.

Lucy woke up after four days of being asleep in the infirmary. Everyone was worried this was the longest she had been out from exerting herself. Lanie and Axel were set to leave in a few days. Lanie had started training in self-defence with the head warrior trainer. She really hated training but did it for Lucy. She knew if she could defend herself, Lucy wouldn't be so stressed all the time. Lanie was frustrated, and she was a little mad at Killian for guilting them into staying longer. She wanted to get on with her life. Meet her pack, become Luna and finally mark Axel. She understood why they had to wait, but it didn't make it any easier. She loved Lucy, but she really didn't owe her anything. The overwhelming bitter feelings she was feeling were unusual for her. She started to feel light-headed, like she had been training too hard. She asked the trainer to take a break. She went to the change room and immediately threw up. She chugged in some more water and threw up again. She decided to end training for the day and go lay down.

Lanie woke up feeling hungry. She went to down to the kitchen to get a snack. She found Axel in there making some fancy pasta thing.

"Hey, babe! You feeling better?" Axel stopped what he was doing and walked over to kiss Lanie.

"Ya, still a little tired, but I don't feel sick anymore." Lanie opened the fridge and grabbed an apple.

"I'm making gnocchi for dinner. It's Lucy's favourite, and I know you'll love it too!" Axel was always thinking of other people. Lanie wondered if Axel even knew what her favourite food was. He was always making food for Lucy. Speaking of Lucy, Lanie felt a little guilty for not visiting her. Maybe she should go check-in. Lanie put her apple in the compost when the most disgusting smell hit her nose, causing her to throw up in the sink.

"Babe! You ok?" Lanie looked up to see Axel cooking chicken.

"I think that chicken has gone bad? Can't you smell how rotten it smells?" Lanie rinsed her mouth before putting on the kettle for tea.

"Lanie, don't freak out and think I am weird, but when was your last period?"

"hahaha, Axel wolves don't get periods."

"so, how would you know if you were pregnant?" After Axel said that, Lanie had to grip the counter to steady herself. Her heat cycles were all messed up from the drugs they had given her at the facility. She usually drank heat suppressing tea to keep her symptoms away, which means she could have been in heat since she met Axel. As the realization hit Lanie, she fainted. Axel rushed her to the infirmary.

Dr. Monroe confirmed it. Lanie was indeed pregnant.

"Lanie, would you mind having an ultrasound so we can see how far along you are?" Dr. Monroe spoke softly, knowing Lanie was very fragile emotionally. Axel held Lanie's hand, trying not to be sick himself. He didn't have a job. He's was about to become Alpha and Lanie Luna. What how could they have been so careless. He plastered a fake smile on for Lanie.

"Yes, I would like to know. Right, Axel?" Lanie looked to Axel to see if he wanted the same thing.

"yes, I do! Very much!"

Dr. Monroe poured the cold jelly on Lanie's belly and moved the stick around. Alright, so we have a heartbeat..... nice and strong, oh wait a minute. We have two heartbeats nice and strong." That was it. Axel's tether broke, he snapped.

Lanie, I need a minute. Axel left the room and went outside. He tried to calm himself down. One baby was enough but two! He couldn't keep it together any longer. He shifted, and Liam took control, and they ran to the clearing by the waterfall.

Axel POV

I ran until I felt most of my frustration leave my body. I stopped by the waterfall to take a drink. I thinking about everything. Why was I so mad. Ya, the timing could be better, but I always wanted a family. I always felt alone, even with Kade and Laurel. They are great parents, but something was always missing. My sister, for one. Knowing where I came from for two. These kids would have us both, and we would love them both. I decided to shift back and walk home. I needed to tell Lanie how excited I was to have these pups. The walk back was beautiful, and the cool air felt nice. Winter was definitely on its way. Maybe I would take Lanie into the city for a night out, maybe see a movie. I arrived back at the infirmary; only Lanie had already left. I make my way up to our room to find her when I see Lucy.

"Hey, Luc!"

"Hey, Ax! How are you doing with the news?"

"I was freaked out at first, but now I am actually excited."

"I am so glad. I don't blame you; I'd be freaked out too! Lanie is tucked into bed in my old room watching Vampire diary Reruns."

"Haha, of course, she is! You two are definitely sisters!"

"Here, don't go in there empty-handed" Lucy shoves a bag of Carmel cheese popcorn into my hand.

"They are Lanie's favourite. Also, Ax try learning some of her favourites, not just make her things I like. Not all of us are the same, you know?"

"Ha....ya, she must hate that.... you are just all I know about girls. I never took the time to get to know any other girls."

"Lanie isn't just some cheerleader. Now go!" Lucy shoves me toward her old room.

I walk into the room, and Lanie is snuggled into the blanket watching a show. I slide in beside her and hand her the popcorn.

"I'm sorry, Lanie. I was a coward running off like that. I am really happy we are having two beautiful babies."

"Thanks, Axel. I'm glad you feel better. I still feel awful." She looks sad.

"Well, maybe I can help. I try giving her a foot rub. She falls asleep almost instantly. I carry her back to our room and tuck her in. I head down to the kitchen to make her something fantastic for dinner. Looking through the fridge to find some ingredients to work with, I hear a blood curtailing scream. I ran to the sound. It came from the courtyard. Lucy was on her knees clutched her shoulder.

"Kkkkiilllliiaaannn he's dying. I can feel his pain through our bond. FIND HIM AXEL."

I didn't waste anytime I shifted and ran following his scent. I knew he had been on patrol checking the boarders for weakness. I find him he's been attacked, how did he not see this coming. He heard the leaves mobe behind me I dodged a grey wolf lunging at me. I roll landing on my feet teeth barred in total control. Liam watching as I use my fast reflexes to dodge another lunge this time I shifted and snapped his hind leg. This was not any wolf it was a distraction.

"listen! If you surrender I won't kill you!" The wolf looks like they are thinking about it. When I hear more wolves approach. They don't have a scent. How are they masking their smell. The first one a dark brown wolf with white ears steps forward. Almost assessing me. Not sure to attack or not, Definitely not the one in charge.

"I WILL ALLOW YOU TO LEAVE BEFORE THE WARRIORS SHOW UP. LET ME TAKE THIS WOLF TO OUR INFIRMARY. OTHERWISE YOU DIE. DEATHMOON PACK DOES NOT TAKE PRISONERS." I don't know if I can take all these wolves on but I will die trying. Lucy needs her mate. The same brown wolf walks slowly towards me. It stopped smelling the air. The brown wolf shifts into a beautiful girl. Actually she looks a little like Ellen and me.

"What is your name?" She shouts at me.

"Axel, yours?"

"Victoria Nash of the blood moon pack."

"Wait? Are you?"

"yes it appears I am your sister."