Chapter 47: Right here beside you
1404 Words
I’m dirty… I’m dirty… I’m dirty…
I can’t look into Rin’s eyes anymore.
Holding a scissor in my hand, I continue stabbing my pillow. The feather flies in the air. After the pillow, I go toward my closet and rip apart the countless dresses that I once wore.
I have to put my anger and disgust into something. I have to overcome my frustrations. I hate them… I hate them all… All of them deserve to die.
“Die! Die! Die!”
After I had done one dress, I turned my glare toward my stuff. Toys that I have memories of.
“I’m an adult now… I can’t have silly things like this any longer.”
I stab each one of them while on my mind. I think this is my parents. The servants were laughing behind my back. Lastly, that pig prince.
Exhausted from my rage. I lay down straight on the floor crying.
There is no way I could turn back time. What happened has already happened. No matter what I do, the current me and the trauma it has given to me won’t disappear.
I took a gasp at the scissors and opened my mouth.
This is the tongue that licked his tongue. If I cut it, I’ll forget the taste of his saliva.
“...”
Before, I was able to cut my tongue. Suddenly, the door opened. Someone has managed to break my door. He took the scissors away from my hand and threw them away.
He grabbed both my shoulders and looked directly into my eyes.
“What are you doing, Belle?”
He asked with a calm tone.
“Rin… Don’t look at me. I’m dirty… I’m dirty… I can’t look at you anymore.”
Rin wheeled his head around my room. He seemed disturbed by the current scenery of my room. Everything was broken and destroyed.
Turning back on me…
“What happened? Tell me…”
I shook my head.
I don’t want him to know that I’m a slut.
“Belle always listens to my stories… This time, it's my turn to listen to yours. I’ll lead my ears to you until you feel fine. I will stay by your side.”
Rin said, taking my hand, and putting it on his chest.
I could feel and hear his heartbeat.
I nodded and decided to trust him.
He fixed the door, giving us our private time. The windows are covered with a thick curtain so it's impossible to see the people inside.
I told him what happened between me and the prince. The way he suddenly kissed me and did perverted things to me. The truth is that he will become my husband in the future.
“I’m scared… I don’t want to marry him. I want to refuse, but I’m always with my family. I didn’t know what the outside world looked like. I can’t do anything… I’m just a tool to gain political power.”
I said.
“Don’t say that. My lady is a human. You’re a human. You deserve something better than this.”
“I can’t run from my fate.”
“There is no such thing as fate… I do not believe in those kinds of things. It was unacceptable when people put it that way. As if saying one can do something to change their future.”
“But it's the truth… I can’t do anything about it.”
I was useless.
I started crying again.
Rin lifted my face and wiped out my tears. Afterward, he pressed his lips toward mine. He did the same as what the prince did to me. He pulled off looking into my eyes.
I don’t hate it when it's him.
“Your lips are dry.”
I said.
“Well, I have trouble hydrating myself.”
I c***k a grin and laugh at his reason.
“What kind of reason is that? Are you the type of human that forgets that you need water?”
“Well, sometimes… I forget how thirsty I am after I am working hard.”
We stared at each other's eyes for a second and once again put our lips together.
After the second… We did the third… and the fourth… So one and so forth until we were satisfied.
Rin told me that he loved me more than anything in this world.
He promised that he would hold my hand and take me away from the mansion. The reason why he was away months ago was because of the knight's training. The kingdom is training knights that could go to war.
I was scared because of the possibility of death.
“I’ll make it out alive… Kaede and her powers are very strong. I’m learning to regain my skills. The human empire is putting the dark lord in a corner. The human empire will win. After that, the king told us that knights would be given the right to become nobles. Not a high-class noble. But being a noble has its advantages. We’ll get rewards by taking down the dark lord. I’ll be wealthy and take you away from this mansion.”
“Are you sure someone took my first kiss?”
“I’m not the kind of man who will think about silly things like first and last. The most important thing is you. I’ll be right there beside you… Because I love you.”
Rin said and then kissed me on my forehead.
“I love you too.”
I reply.
He helped me clean my room and threw away the things that I destroyed. The room was tidy and clean with Rin’s help. After cleaning, the girl's gardener came with a smile. She placed a tray with food for me.
“I was glad that you finally opened your door, my lady.”
She said.
She must be the servant who always tried to knock on my door. The knock that I ignored for many days.
“I’m sorry for making the two of you worried.”
“It's fine, like Rin said you’re the most important. Please eat and regain your health. Next time I’ll help you avoid that prince. We’ll make an excuse to chase him away next time. I won’t let him take a pure princess from our mansion easily.”
“Thank you.”
I didn’t know that somebody was looking out for me. Now that I think about it, the gardener girl is the one who always comes to replace the flowers and water in the vase in my room. She is the one who takes my laundry and cleans my room.
I’m always ignoring her presence. I didn’t even know her name.
“My lady…”
“No, just call me Belle.”
“That’s unforgivable… We should respect you.”
“It's fine... I don’t mind at all.”
“If you insist… My name is Flore…”
In the following days,
I became more open with Flore and Rin. Flore fixed Elaina with her sewing skills. She even took me to the kitchen and taught me how to cook.
I remember that Rin likes a girl that knows how to cook.
There was a time the prince would visit me. Flore went to the rescue and accompanied me. We give reasons like I’m sick or having a strange cold. The pig prince was taking care of his health after hearing that he was sick. He immediately went away.
No one finds it weird… Not even my parents.
They don’t care at all.
The day has come…
“Rin, are you really going to be fine?”
I asked.
“Yeah, I’m sure I will win. The dark lord is on his top foot. We knights are needed just for backup. After this war, I will return as a noble. I’ll take your hand and marry you.”
“I’ll wait for you.”
“Flore please take care of Belle while I am gone.”
“When you become a noble… Please introduce me to some knights.”
“I’m sure someone will like you. You’re a little sister troupe after all.”
“Don’t introduce me to perverts.”
We all smiled together.
Rin and I then made a parting kiss. He rides a carriage going to Stella city.
Seating in my usual spot beside the giant window. I'm waiting for his return.
- Writer
