Bipolar Attractions

23.

My gaze leaves Jen, as a light smile forms my lips, all while she stares at me. “Yes, I have.” I answer Jen truthfully. “But we are not doing story telling today. I don’t have time for that,” A smirk plays on my lips with the end of my statement as Jen gives me a look. “What? Why are you staring at me like that?” I ask Jen.

“Nothing, you know, it just amazes me that the great Laura smith has been in love before.” Jen smirks. “He must be a lucky one.” Jen adds.

No, I was the lucky one Jen.

“Whatever, you asked a question and I answered. Case closed.” I roll my eyes at Jen.

“Fine. I’m not pushing.” Jen raises her hands in defense with a smile on her lips. 

“Good, because I was still not going to tell.” I add with a chuckle, as it dies down seeing the door to Jen’s room open, revealing Steve, Allen and John coming in.

“Who is a badass b***h again!” Steve yells as he faces Jen who has a huge chuckle on her lips.

“It’s Jennifer Harrison!” Allen completes the statement as I can only slam a hand to my head at how childish they look at the moment. “It’s so good to have you back Jenny,” Allen says as everyone does have a smile on their lips.

“I already began going for night vigils to tell God to help save us from Laura, if something did happen to you.” Steve says next.

“And what is that supposed to mean Steven,” I call out Steve’s full name while sending him a glare, as he pretends to run behind Allen for safety, one which cracks the other up.

“Well you see what I’m talking about. How do we deal with her when she goes on maniac mode without Jen?” Steve adds, as this time a chuckle escapes my lips, before my eyes meets up with John, whom instantly doesn’t bother to keep his gaze on me.

“It’s good to have you back Jen.” Is all John says, with a smile on his lips. 

“Thank you lieutenant.” Jen greets warmly. “And thank you guys. I can’t believe how much I already missed you two.” Jen says, having an emotional smile on her lips. 

“I do love the scene I see. It’s good to see you Miss Harrison already healing well.” All our gaze move to where the voice comes from, as we see the doctor whom operated on Jen walk in. “Hello to you all.” The doctor greets as each one of us responds.

“I do like to see you laughing, but do try to keep it on a minimum not to tear up your stitches okay?” The doctor whose name tag I’ve come to realize to be Pete adds. 

“Of course. Thank you Doctor.” Jen speaks. “How long do I have to stay here or get back to the field?” Jen asks Doctor Pete, as all our attention remains on what he is to say next.

“Oh Miss Harrison, with the nature of your job I believe going back into the field is something you will have to postpone for a while.” Dr Pete says.

“What do you mean Doctor?” My voice comes next.

“Well the bullet did pass through your kidney and thankfully it didn’t damage it, but it doesn’t mean we didn’t have to perform a surgery on it. Which means, you have to have full recovery so as not to tear it up again and cause further damages.” Doctor Pete says.

“So how many weeks are we looking at now, Doctor?” Jen asks.

“Three months, Miss Harrison.” Doctor Pete says and I watch Jen’s face fall as she runs a slight hand to her hair. 

“So I can’t go to work for three months?” Jen asks again for certainty.

“Yes, you can’t.”

———————-

“So tell me Laura, how are you sincerely.” Dr Milan ask me, as we both sit opposite each other.

“I’m fine,” I answer Dr Milan curtly. 

“I believe even if I wasn’t a therapist, I would know you saying you’re fine means, you’re not.” Dr Milan says and I take my gaze away from him, and out to the window where a bird perks with its beak. “You called me, definitely not to hear my voice, but for us to talk.” My gaze resumes back to Dr Milan, as I watch him drop the pen in his hand, to hook his book.

“I think I’m beginning to feel the same way I felt eight years ago.” I finally speak.

“And why do you think you’re feeling that way?” Dr Milan asks as I go silent again. “Rather, what do you think you feel and what makes you believe they are of similar events?” He adds.

“I feel the anger again, the guilt, the feeling of falling apart again.” I confess.

“And when did you begin to feel this way? What do you think triggered you to feel this way?” Dr Milan furthers, as he pick back his pen, seeing me begin to talk. 

“Recently, when my Partner Jen, got shot.” I say.

“And what does Jen have to do with the recurrence of what you feel? Did something bad perhaps happens to her?” Dr Milan asks.

“No she’s fine now. But I thought she wouldn’t be which was why I felt the rush of emotion.” I admit.

“Are you and Jen extremely close?” More questions from Dr Milan as his gaze doesn’t leave mine, and mine in his, but not particularly in his eyes, but his full hair, seeing a few strands of grey hair invade the black.

“Maybe. I’m not sure what our relationship is yet.” I answer.

“But you do trust her?” He asks.

“I don’t know, because I haven’t come to terms to tell her all what is it is I feel free to say to you.” I say.

“And what is it that you want to say, tell me Laura. Please do feel free to say it all.” Dr Milan gestures me gently, as my gaze settles on him fully before I speak my mind.

“I think I’m about to make a very bad decision, Dr Milan.”