Visionless Reality

Three

        I don’t remember for how long I was having a dream of Safina but I was actually thinking, how long has it been with her. I remember the first time I saw her in an electronic shop, and I straightaway disliked her as she didn’t even know what a RAM was. But actually that was the first time we had an encounter, and it is often told not to believe the first times, for they are deceptive. Just because of interest and hunger of learning, I used to make frequent visits at that electronic store to check for the latest electronic gadgets, also, it was a few blocks away from my house. The attendant was not able to explain what a RAM actually was to that girl, instead of explaining her the meaning of its full form ‘Random Access Memory’. It took only a few seconds for me to attract her attention, for I was asking one of the attendants about the specifications of the latest gaming rig they had. It was the time I had to buy a gaming rig, for the previous one was too old to sustain the intense gaming sessions. Also my father gave me some extra pocket money for the desirable grades in my high school results, which became a catalyst in getting a gadget to play around. My gaming rig was the first electronic gadget I covered in my blog. I went for its parts, extensions, softwares and finally ended up eulogizing the gaming industry.

        So, Safina was actually more focused on my conversations with the attendant as I was starving to look the gaming beast that I had in my mind. The powerful and physically appealing gaming rig. I told him about my requirements: A transparent cabinet, latest generation motherboard, a decent graphics card of around 8 Gigabytes, intel processor i7, highest specs, and 32 Gigabytes of RAM. Hearing this, the attendant was amazed as he hadn’t heard of anything wild like that before. He suggested me to not buy it for it may affect my power supply but little did he knew that I actually helped build computers at my library at my house. Yes, my mother is a library attendant that is situated in my house.

        I am a big fan of Safina’s honest and brave attitude. She stood next to me, hearing all of the required specifications, and silently whispered in my ears…

‘Do you even know what a RAM is? Or are you a little brat, who came here to buy a PC, just giving a look at the cheat sheet on the internet?’-Safina.

‘RAM is actually the predefined space on the computer system, which decides how much of memory your system can consume at once to run its processes.’

        I moved towards her and whispered…

‘Don’t worry… Learning is the only way to succeed in life.’

        She smiled and that smile, made my day. She asked me to help buying her a PC for use at home and, how could I deny a young lady. By the way, she was 7 months older than me. It took me 2 months after that day, but I made her understand everything about computer technology. That day, I explained the pros and cons of buying particular PCs and finally, she bought a mid-ranged, gaming rig. It was my time to suggest an idea of gaming to her, and actually, she had the same intentions. We met a couple of times after setting up her PC and then she started playing the same game, I was crazy about. These all instances made me flatter on her. She was like a perfect partner I could ever have.

        Safina’s screenplay ended well, when she actually taught me how to survive an intense match. Little did I know, she was a gaming champion in her school. Her father was at computer repair center and that’s where she learnt all. It was all a prank on the attendant of the store, in which, I was successfully caught. But I prefer to say that, it was all my fate to meet such a trustworthy person. If I ever had to choose between Safina and gaming, I would definitely choose her… because she would never leave gaming.

‘Safina please be serious in this game… I don’t think we could win the match by joking around. Concentrate on the goal.’

‘Why are you so worried about winning? We will enjoy the game for it is meant to be this way. I did not want to stress my instincts and play under tension, for I was born to be free. Free from all the bounds. Nobody can stop me from losing.’-Safina.

        The match was going to end and she was relaxed, like she was enjoying a movie. I was sure of her skills but not sure of her attitude.

‘Okay so, here goes another basket and…’-Safina.

‘That’s a wrong position Safina…’

‘And that’s the victory.’-Safina.

        That was the first time I understood the meaning of gaming.

‘You know Akashi, never play when being stressed out. This gives our community a bad reputation of being vulgar. Gaming is an art of showcasing our talents with the essence of enjoyment. Although the conditions in competitive matches are different, we ought not to forget our motto for success. Breathe in, breathe out, free the brain, omit the doubt.’-Safina.

        That’s what I was talking about. The art of talking rubbish and still make the other person feel its importance… Damn… I love this girl.

‘Akashi! Lost in the faraway lands again? Are you ignoring me?’-Safina.

‘No no… I was actually thinking about the motto of success! That was pretty amazing no!’

‘Motto?? Which one? I say rubbish while gaming you know na!’-Safina.

‘Ya… I know.’

        19:26… All the plates were set on the dining table, all the members were hungry and Safina was the most. She went to the kitchen to get an overview of what we were to eat and I caught her taking a bite from the apple pudding.

‘Oi. I thought you were upstairs! Please don’t tell anyone. I am longing to eat something for years and my stomach is saying grrrr...’-Safina.

‘It’s your home... you can eat as much as you want! There’s nothing to hide. We all need to stay alive and for that, I can even steal bread!’

‘Until you are with me, nobody is going to steal anything! Taste this pudding, it’s made with pure love and lots of happiness. I am loving it.’-Safina.

‘Okay guys, get seated. The food will be served soon. Make sure you wash your hands.’-Mom.

‘There is no need to tell mom, we are old enough.’

‘Actually, I forgot to wash my hands.’-Safina.

        And the dinner table was covered with delicious smell before the food was actually served. My parents knew Safina’s family for her grandfather was our acquaintance. I was told that Safina and I were friends in childhood but I didn’t remember anything about her. My parents were always busy in their works due to which I was often left alone. After the arrival of Safina, my life actually became happening. Now, every weekend, we have a family dinner and this way, she also gets a chance to stay in contact with my parents. I love the way she cares about everyone in her life. She asks me to plan a dinner night with her family too but I often deny her. Her father is a person with old generation thoughts. He asks her not to bring any of his male friends inside… for he dislikes it. I am aware of those words but still, I help her father in many of his computer fixes and upgrades and he personally likes me.

‘If you are leaving those carrots, can I have them?’-Safina.

‘Yeah sure, you can have them. I am done.’

        20:33… After the dinner I was asked to drop her to her house for it was too late. Mom forced me to take the car but Safina preferred walking. She was a down to earth person, sensitive to every detail in her life.

‘I was going to give you a surprise but I am not able to sustain it anymore.’-Safina.

‘What is it?’

‘I bought a new controller and I am ready to play now! We will have some matches tomorrow; you decide the time.’-Safina.

 ‘What about 11:00? Is it okay?’

‘Well not that perfect, but no worries… I’ll manage. By the way what were you trying to tell me Akashi?’-Safina.

‘Listen, I’ve been having these weird events since the last weekend. I am not sure how to tell you and how to control them... Please don’t think I am crazy!’

‘Was this all after you started meditating?’-Safina.

‘Yes ofcourse. But why did you ask?’

‘Thank you Akashi! Please tell me more about the dreams! I want to know more about them. I totally believe in you.’-Safina.

‘Although your reaction to my problem was weird, but still I appreciate that you are there for me. So, the day before yesterday, I saw a smoky, blurry, person who was standing out in my balcony during the snowfall. I was frozen, looking at the pain and agony in his eyes. It was like fire of betrayal and justice in his eyes. Like he has gone through lots. Throwing a pillow towards him, he vanished, no… evaporated. I didn’t realize tenor of his presence in that event but I am sure this event has something to do with me.’

‘Yes, ofcourse! Everything happens for a reason. I think that may be an implication of your fears. And wait a minute, did you really use a pillow as a weapon against that entity? Interesting. Well, do you recall anything else amongst those dreams?’-Safina.

‘Yesterday I had one. I was floating around mirrors, reflecting my past, my emotions and some colors. I was thrown into a realm, covered with black lights. The only visible object was a door. An old wooden door. And that door was actually an indication of my game’s prediction. When I actually resembled the situation in real life, I was stunned by the clarity and the details I imagined. Was it all my mind playing tricks on me?’

‘Oooh… arrival of the sixth sense. My friendly neighborhood Spidey… there’s nothing to be scared of. This is the game of your subconscious mind. It often helps you look into future when you streamline your positive thoughts into the right direction. I’ve been trying to discover this phenomenon in real life, and it was actually similar to what I read in the theory. You are a genius Akashi!’-Safina.

        Had I lost it, or has she? I was confused about her words for she was calm and normal as usual. I think she did not get to feel what I was going through. She was just pretending to follow up to my words, without actually listening to me.

‘Don’t feel like I am not aware of what you are going through. I am pretty sure you are not able to cope up with those imaginary figures and recent episodes but actually, this is all executed by your subconscious mind. Let me tell you a fact. All the rubbish I say often, comes from my subconscious mind. It helps me understand others and process the things much faster.’-Safina.

‘I’m impressed. I was not aware that you were studying psychology.’

‘Psychoanalysis… to be more specific. My grandmother was a fan of human brain. She conducted lectures and taught the wonders of a human brain to her students in school. I loved the way she taught. I got that knowledge from her. She was the best partner I could boast of. After her funeral, I was alone. In a deep thought of vanishing from the world. And that’s when I saw you. Coming back from your school. I heard about you a lot from my friends and finally met you in the electronic shop, setting up a prank on the attendant.’-Safina.

‘So you were stalking me??? I was not aware that girls these days can do such things. You are insane.’

‘Hey listen, I’ve not done anything wrong. I liked you so I followed you. If it is a crime, then I am a criminal.’ -Safina.

        With all these conversations, I felt the formation of a stronger bond, for we had miles to go.