Visionless Reality

        Waking up to the ticking of the clock, in the utter silence, I tried to recall the nightmare. I was sweating hard. Dragging my legs to reach the jug of water, my eyes fell on the digital clock saying 3:21... It was dark out. Grabbing the mug, I was staring mindlessly at the window. I jumped out in the balcony, with my heavy body, craving for rest, but my brain couldn’t stop wandering. Why is night so dark and day so bright? Why is night too honest to bear and the day too august to pass? Having a true sense of justice towards the world… and still considering the fake ones to be true, feels like suffocating oneself with the fabric of confusion and utter dissonance. Same were my emotions at that time. I was not sure what to think… so I let my mind wander in the events that held in my past. What else choice do we have at such times?           The mist in the winds, carried noises with it. Beautiful noises. There was something I remembered from the past. All those who prefer staying quiet… are not weak. They are strong enough to stand for themselves. The one who sacrifices oneself… for the other, is the most honest and strongest person alive. The world is not as simple as it looks. Appearance is the deception of looking good. Nobody is aware of the future, what it may have in stores… for you.         A sudden dart on my arm… brought my senses, back to reality. It was a snowflake. The moment was going to be enchanting. I realised I was in my t-shirt for I was numb, consumed by my thoughts. I continued gazing at the long dark shadow of a pine tree, swaying with the misty cold winds. How old was it? Was it always standing there? Interesting… Feeling glacial, with my shivering hands, the temperature turned sub-zero. I finally decided to cover up my trembling by getting into the blanket. But the thing that got me up from my bed, was half of the article, that was still left to be completed for the submission, before deadline.           I continued to generate more and more ideas to fabricate the story more precisely, so that it can be more relatable. But that blurry nightmare, was getting into my vision. I was not able to relate the moments in those dreams but they felt so real. Like I was present there. I however continued to work on my project and, I was only a few words far, from the end.         To my sudden, I looked outside and a black shadow was visible on my window. It was staring at me continuously, without even blinking. It all felt eerie. I drank some water and continued working, ignoring the figure but it was still looking at me. Becoming anxious, I thought it was just another nightmare, I closed my eyes tight and a mellow drop of tear rolled down my cheek. I counted to 10 and forced my brain to think, that it was gone. But opening my eyes, he was still present. This time, it was more patient and keen, to look at me.         With the sudden motion of terror, I threw my pillow towards him (although the figure was out in the cold). The pillow made a slouchy noise and sat down the window. The figure was gone. I was shuddering with fear. My hands sweating hard and my heart racing like I ran miles in a marathon. I was frozen in one place. Taking baby steps towards my pillow, I was drifting towards the window. With the terror of the present event, and experience of the past, I was sure, it was gone.         I seated back on my desk, trying hard to focus on the work but all I could think of, was the smoky, blurry figure that was a result of my hallucinations. The thing that keep on flashing in my mind, were the eyes of that shadow. The whole figure was blurred but only the eyes were visible. Like they were calling me to listen to them. The shadow was in sheer pain. It had marks of dried tears on his cheeks and the eyes were damp. I could feel his anguish. Although it was just my brain’s another realistic creation, it was familiar. I was not able to guess it’s source but I was sure I have seen those silent eyes with abundant guilt.           Trying to get my mind diverted from the recent event, I stood away from the bed at the suitable place, with the VR headset, to continue the mission, from where I left. Holding the controller steady and the headphones over the ear, I was packed up to have some intense gaming session. It was often for me to get involved in the game so furiously, that sometimes I forget the difference between reality and the virtual world. To cope up with this, I used to touch the wrist watch, my father gave me on clearing my high school. I remember his eyes. So full of proud, hope and success. Like he himself has won the planet. He actually planned a lawn party for his drunkard friends the next weekend. He was proud to have raised such a truthful son. Or was so I?         Anyways, I was stuck on the second last fight with the boss. It was a monster, double the size of myself, with a wooden shack in his hand, with mystical powers. All I had to do was to reverse his magic and stab my blade in the back of that ugly growling monster. But he was too fast. I continued going with the flow, making him feel weak and winning over him but… his dreadful strike held in my head, and I felt the drowsiness. I removed the gadgets and laid down on the bed. It was often for a gamer to have sudden panic attacks due to over exposure towards screen and its radiations.         I recovered from it in a few minutes. 5:03… Finally, back to the bed, I was again wandering in my thoughts, with none of the ends meeting the other. But I still don’t understand… why is night so dark and honest?