THE JULIEN PROJECT

10

Beep beep!

Opening and closing my car doors remotely is the only way I can find it. I look in all the rows, hoping to see the turn signals blink.

It’s not at this level because I cannot hear or see anything. Fortunately for me, this private parking lot isn’t that big. I would say there are about 40 parking spaces at most. I go downstairs by the stairwell, dark and anxiety-provoking, where no woman would feel safe.

Beep beep!

This time, I spotted my car’s headlights in the distance. I accelerate the pace to discover the model of my toy which is located about fifty meters away. I scream when I discover it:

“No s**t! It’s a f*****g Audi A6!”

A real beauty! Black, leather interior, sunroof, aluminium rims, sports styling… I walk around like a kid around the tree on Christmas morning. I find it magnificent. Having a nice car suddenly gives me a real sense of power, achievement and superiority. My euphoria is at its peak. I forget why I’m here when a female voice interrupts my reverie:

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Uh… what?” I said, looking around and discovering the receptionist who came out of nowhere.

“It’s beautiful, your car, and super comfortable to do… You know…” she says, approaching me with very specific intentions.

“Uh… what are you doing here, exactly?” I say.

“I think it’s obvious,” she says, starting to unbutton my shirt. “This shirt is all stained, best to take it off. I took a break on purpose. I was a little hungry… for you, Julien.”

My male body can no longer take it anymore. My parts reacted quickly but my head doesn’t follow. Even if on the outside I’m a guy, on the inside I still think like Julie too often to let this girl, Jean (it’s written on her badge, fortunately), pounce on me at the first opportunity. I’m not ready. I must stop her immediately.

“Jean… Uh, we can’t do this here, not now!”

“Well, why’s that? We’ve done it so often!”

“Because cars might arrive and we could be surprised.”

“Well precisely,” she said, redoubling her energy. “That’s exciting! Take me right away!” she said, grabbing my parts!

“Out of the question!” I say, freeing myself from her grip. “I’ll never do that again!” I say, raising my voice despite myself.

She pauses and her eyes express surprise, disappointment, anger, incomprehension, sadness, all this in a few tenths of a second which follow one another. Her voice begins to tremble:

“But… why, Ju? You never pushed me away before… You don’t like me anymore. What did I do?”

Hell then, she seems really distraught and saddened. She must not be used to being pushed away. I try to put myself in her place, and indeed, if that happened to me, I would feel humiliated, especially if I was someone’s regular four o’clock. Ah, if only... I relent a little to try to reassure her.

“Jean, it’s not you, I swear. It’s just that right now I’m not prepared.”

She looks at me with a dubious raised eyebrow.

“Not prepared? Hmm… So, frankly, Julien, you could have done better! Men are always prepared, always! Since when are you not? Never, oh no, no one ever did something like this to me! It’s me who decides, me alone! I say where, I say when, I say how! You know what? You don’t want to, well that’s okay, but don’t count on me to be at your disposal!”

“But Jean, don’t take it like that!” I say without much conviction, hoping from the bottom of my heart that she goes away.

Jean has already turned on her heels and walks away rolling her buttocks out of pure provocation, no doubt hoping that I run after her, and to make me immediately regret my poorly worded excuse. Her strategy falls apart.

I’m relieved. I’m not yet ready to have s*x inside a guy’s body, although I have to admit I have wondered a thousand times how men feel during s*x. I mean, physically: the sensations, the erogenous zones, the male o****m… Damn, this was the moment and I didn’t take the opportunity. What a b***h, well, I mean it, what a b***h! Damn then ... I start screaming in the parking lot!

“Who the f**k am I?!”

I have the impression that the word f**k echoes. No one answers me, and luckily for me, no one is witnessing this moment of weakness. I’m looking for CCTV cameras on the ceiling but can’t see any. I then remember the reason for my presence in the parking lot, that this car with the wide-open door is mine, that it’s a pretty Audi and that it will allow me to bait lots of other girls and that handsome as I am (in addition to being humble and modest), I’ll have no trouble seducing another woman to try my first time in Julien’s body. Morale returns fairly quickly. I find a shirt hanging from the back of the cabin and I have a thought for my mother who ironed them for me every week. Ah! Mom… If you only knew what an experience I’m going through…

I quickly change my shirt, hoping that no one shows up unexpectedly. I lock the doors with great pleasure, thinking that having this car is rather a pleasant surprise and, pumped up, I whistle off to my professional responsibilities.