9
1075 Words
Knock Knock!
It’s Paul knocking on my door. He’s wearing a fitted suit that shows off his muscles. Looks like Bradley Cooper, love it.
“Hi, my friend! Coffee?” he asks me.
“Well, it’s going to be time for my meeting with… Emilia.”
“Hey, who cares! Who’s the boss here?” he said, patting the small plaque on my office door.
“You’re right! So yes, coffee!” I said delighted to flee my post and my responsibilities, especially this urgent matter.
I follow Paul to the office next door. He throws his satchel on a chair, puts down his coat and closes his glass door on which the inscription reads PAUL GRANGER - DEPUTY DIRECTOR. Damn, Paul and I have the same job.
“You don’t look right. Aren’t you getting better?” he asks me on the way to the break room.
All female eyes are on us. It must be said that Paul and I look good! Handsome, young, athletic, it’s obvious that we attract women. They devour us with their eyes, except Emilia who’s focused on her files for our imminent meeting. Maybe I should have warned her that I was going to shift her a bit. Oh, and then Paul’s right, who’s the boss here? That’s me!
Paul slides the capsules into the machine as I walk over to a high table. We are alone in this tiny room. So much the better! A little respite doesn’t mean refusal.
“Here, Julien,” he said, handing me my coffee. “What the f**k are you looking bad for, mate!”
“Yeah, I have a problem...”
“A problem? What kind? Spill!” he said before taking his first sip.
“Paul… As soon as I see a girl, I have a hard-on. I think I’m gay!” I say bluntly.
Prrrffrrfffff!
The prrffrrfffff is the projection of the coffee that Paul had in his mouth and that he has just spit on my shirt and tie. I don’t know what happened to me. This sentence came out on its own without my being able to control it. The situation is laughable and pathetic at the same time. He exploded with laughter. Me, frozen, arms outstretched, incredulous in front of this improbable scene with only one certainty: my clean shirt is ruined! I’m in a bad mood:
“Damn, my shirt!”
“Hey, we said: no more swear words! I’m sorry but did you hear what you said? Honestly, Julien! That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” he says, continuing to laugh at the situation.
“Well, what do I do now?” I say, looking at the disaster.
“You must have a spare shirt and tie in your car!”
“Ah, maybe! I’ll go take a look.”
“Hey, Julien, you’ve been f*****g creepy since Saturday. The girl you brought home, what’s her name again...”
“Samantha!”
“Well, this Samantha, she wouldn’t have drugged you? I know I’ve asked you before, but frankly, I’m intrigued. You’ve been so weird since the other night!”
“I don’t know what happened with Samantha, but you can’t imagine how much I would like to go back to Friday,” I say, thinking back to my bottle of wine, my cupcake, and my stupid wish.
I swallow my coffee and all the mini-cupcakes lying around in the basket. I’m so hungry. Paul is surprised:
“Haven’t you had breakfast?”
“No, I say with my mouth full.”
“That’s not like you, though...”
“I don’t know what I’m like anymore...”
“For sure… If you’re gay, then I have to be a parish priest!”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because you’re the guy who pulls faster than his shadow if you see what I mean...”
“Is that so? That much!” I said, thinking back to Odette’s identical words.
“Do you see the chick there?” he said to me, showing me a young woman passing in the hallway. “Well, you and her got… intimate!”
“Really,” I say, shocked.
“And the receptionist...”
“What?” I said, worried to find out what will come next.
“Well, she’s regularly your four o’clock.
“You’re joking?” I say sincerely startled.
“Now you’re going to stop your game. It’s me, Paul, your friend! Are you going to tell me what’s up with you?”
“Look, I don’t know what’s going on with me. I’m suffering from transient amnesia. That’s all I can think of! Can you tell me more?”
“More? About what?”
“About… Am I really the kind of guy who squeezes everything that moves?”
“Yeah…” he answers sceptically. “In any case, you were until Friday… Since then, you’re not the same, that’s clear!”
“Do you think we can be different?”
“How, different? I don’t follow you.”
“What if I wanted to be different?”
“…”
“I’ve had it up to here with this Casanova image. I’d like to become a good person, serious, ready to make a commitment!”
Pfffrrfffffffffffff!!!
That’s another sip of coffee joining the previous one, further aggravating the damage.
“Uh, you’ve got to be kidding me, Paul!”
“Wait, everything you say doesn’t make sense! It’s so not you!”
The accounting team arrives in the break room. It’s time to get out. I can’t face anyone, neither in this outfit nor with this state of mind.
“I have to go!” I said, leaving him there, determined to change my shirt before being seen in this state.
“But Julien, where are you running to like that?”
“To the parking lot, see if I have a spare shirt,” I say without looking back.
I have the keychain in my pocket. I rush past the receptionist who doesn’t fail to notice me.
“Have you left something in your car?”
“Yes, I’m scatter-brained, eh!”
“Like all men, in fact,” she says quickly. “Always looking for the keys, the phone, a piece of paper… luckily your head is fixed on if not…”
“I know... No need to add more,” I say, fleeing.
- Writer
