Werewolves & Witches

Chapter 5

My heart has been continuously beating at his own pace. When I think of dad. The pack. Blake, my heart hammers so hard, I can literally see it, moving up and down, fast. And when I try to calm myself down with encouraging words in my mind, it doesn’t help. I try to take deep breaths but it feels like I’m breathing through a small whistle. Mom started to get irritated with me, saying that I should stop moping around and do nothing and that menstruation is part of life and part of being a woman. I shrugged it off and busied myself with washing clothes. It isn't that the pack wouldn’t find out what I did. I even find myself shaking and each time my mom appears I try to be out of her sight. I hated feeling just like a fragile puddle of stress and depression. Everything I did to keep myself stable only made it worse.

“Rosalie, come eat.” Mom calls.

“I’m not hungry.” I mumble loud enough for her to hear.

“Why.” She pokes her head in my room and I quickly adjust my eyes elsewhere rather than staring out of the window.

“I don’t know.” I lift my shoulders, hoping mom would just leave me alone.

“They’ll find Blake, don’t worry.” She sits on my bed, looking at me with big teary eyes. But I don’t want them to find him mom. My thoughts drift towards dad. And how he knows what I’m capable of. I hope he doesn't know the ties. I hope he doesn’t find out what happend.

I give mom a curt nod making mom spin around with an attitude, leaving me alone distressed in my room. I bite my nails, each passing second giving me a horrible sensation.

I grunt. I try to take a nap but my mind keeps me busy, so I can’t sleep or eat. If they find out, I could easily walk off and live on my own. I’m strong enough. I don’t need them. I’m stronger than them all combined.

I sigh. I can’t think like that. Stop it! Everything will be fine.

When I hear deep voices coming from afar my nervousness takes the best of me and it almost feels as if I'm going to faint. It’s them. It’s the pack.

I hear dad’s familiar voice, talking and laughing loudly. Laughing? Why would they be laughing? I gulp all my gathered spit. What should I do? Stay in my room or go out. I have to act normal.

So I go outside where mom is standing looking out with eager eyes. I look down. I try not to fumble with my sweaty palms.

“Seems like good news.” Mom comments, her serious aura starting to fade away. I wish my stress could fade away, because somehow laughing makes it worse. Why would they laugh? Either way it wouldn’t make sense.If they found his body or if they didn’t find them, there’s no reason to laugh. I zoom in on their fast strides to see it’s everyone from the pack. No one else. After waiting a devastating minute for them to appear in front of us. My eyes widen and a gasp escapes my mouth.

“What.” I say softly and uncontrollably.

I swallow almost ten times, and secretly pinch my arm, to see if this is real. Am I dreaming? No. This is real. I feel my face heat up and confusion glaze my body in sweat. I think I need to throw up.

Blake is standing before me. In flesh. With a smile on his face and his black hair perfectly smoothed backwards. Like always. Like nothing has happened, .

“Where were you?” Mom asks with a smile on her face.

“Just wanted to be on my own for a while.” He’s eyes land on me, but nothing in his expression falters. Was I dreaming? Was it a dream of me killing him? No. It can’t be. I have proof with all his soul’s feelings inside of me. Without thinking I use my mind to enter his soul, to feel a painful rush of energy engulfing my entire body. I immediately take my mind off him, hurl forward holding my stomach for support.

“What the.” Bulky says with concern laced in his voice.

“What is wrong?” Dad asks, putting his warm hand on my back.

“Can’t you,” Mom starts but when Blake takes a deep breath through his nose he finishes mom’s sentence.

“She began with her menstrual cycle.” His words make everyone inhale deeply and I feel embarrassment confronting me.

“Oh, you’re a woman now.” Dad chuckles and I roll my eyes. I bite my lip as I pull my posture straight, trying not to look at Blake. The heat evaporating from the pack makes me feel somewhat better and they engulf me in one big hug with encouraging words. Mom laughs in the background and I Ddke says and everyone turns and frowns at him. What the hell. Why would he say that.

“Okay.” I say, turning my expression into a snarl. I feel my whole sad mood turning into an angry one. What a cheek he has. Without even saying anything I turn and walk towards my room. How am I going to figure out what is going on? It feels like my mind is breaking. Maybe it was all a dream. And the pain I’m feeling in my heart and soul is only mine. That’s got to be it. There can’t be another explanation. I let out a sigh, feeling complicated. I have to go back to the place where I buried him. I violently rub my cold hands over my face,trying to get some sense out of this whole situation. I have to go when they won’t see me.Because of the jdfwgfgwebfyg being around they won’t let meout alone and I also don’t want to make anything suspicious. I look out my window as the pack walks towards their little cave. My attention lingers on Blake, who looks down with a small smile. When he turns, looking right at me, I fall down, to hide. He was the only one in the pack who looked at me. AS if he knew I was looking at him. I huff out a frustrated breath. I wish I could tell someone what is going on. Maybe my mind is playing with me.. Maybe I’m becoming crazy. Tears start to form in my eyes and fall down my cheeks, fat and angry. I feel so alone and fragile.

“Hey, you okay?” Mom appears, her dark hair in a high messy bun on top of her head.

“Yeah.”

“I’m just happy, Blake is okay.” Mom expresses, flopping down on my bed with a relieved sigh.

“Yeah.” I don’t know what else to say. I’m suspicious. And confused.

“Rosalie.”

I turn my attention to mom’s wide eyes.

“Yes?”

“What’s wrong?” I can see that she wants to cut to the point. She wants to know what I’ve been hiding. I sigh knowing that she always sees right through me.

I look up and blow heavy air out of my nose.

“What is it, Rose?” She urges while I contemplate if I should tell her or not.

“I-” I jiggle my hands in the air as if I’m splashing water off, “I.”! I swallow. I don’t know how to say it. I don’t know what to say. “I just don’t feel good.” I lie but not entirely.

“Here.” She rummages in the large pockets of her baggy grey dress and holds some white powdery stuff in a small glass container. I smirk. Only mom will have stuff like that buried somewhere in her clothes.

“Drink it with water.”

“Thanks mom.” I purse my lips and take it out of her hand.

I wait for her to leave but she stays put and it seems as if her eyes are piercing through my soul.

“What?” I ask, feeling uncertain. I bite my lips as I watch her raise her eyebrows.

“Drink it, now.” She says with a hint of irritation in her voice.

“Oh.” She just wants me to drink it. I throw the content in my mouth and take the half filled glass from my bedside table and chuck it down with the powder. Euw. It tastes bitter and disgusting.

“What was that?” I clench my teeth and knit my eyebrows, trying to get rid of the awful taste.

“It’ll make you feel better.” Mom says calmly. I nod and lift my shoulders, feeling irritated at her keep trying to involve herself in my situations. Can she just leave me alone, geez.

“Ok.” I say, waiting for her to leave my room.

She puts her lips and slowly turns, until she completely leaves my room. I let out a sigh of relief and fell on my bed, trying to get rid of the exhaustion on my body.

I have to figure out what is going on. I feel so unsure and scared. Maybe I’m becoming crazy and I’m imagining things. No! I know what happened and I know what I saw. I’ve got to get a grip. The only way I will be able to get a grip is if I go where it all happened. I suck in a deep breath, feeling sleep seeping inside my whole body and I let it take over.

___

I groggily open my eyes and rub it to escape from the blurry sight. It’s dark. I swallow and lick my dry lips. Now is the time to do my thing. I try to shake of all my fright and uncertainties as I pull myself out of the bed. I try to stay quiet, walking on my tip toes. Even breathing is a no go. I wrap my black cloak that mom brought from the market tight around my body and quickly braid my messy hair out of my face. Ok. I tip toe and poke my head in my mom’s room that’s next to mine, to her the outline of her body, gently moving up and down as she breathes. I turn and walk towards the kitchen, knowing places the keys on the top cabinet. I stretch my body and arms high to reach the handle of the cabinet, feeling my toe muscles burning and feeling far out of it’s comfort zone. I wiggle my fingers and feel around the dusty platform but feel nothing. I silently grunt and quickly recollect my my posture in a normal standing position. Beads of sweat form on my forehead as I try to feel for the keys again. Finally. My fingers touched it. Ok. Now I must take it off as quietly as I can. I swallow all my gathered spit and take both my hands and clutch the bunch of keys tightly in my sweaty palms. I cringe as it makes a cling sound as I push it hard in my hands. It shouldn’t be making a sound now, so I slowly take it off, with shaking arms. When I’m finally holding it against my chest I take a minute to breathe and control my wild heartbeat. Ok. Now it’s for the door. I feel frustrated, not being able to use my powers. Each movement I make I want to make it easier for myself, by making myself drift or something but unfortunately she can feel when I’m using my powers, so I rather would not try. I lick my lips and walk towards the front door trying not to make the wooden floors creak. When I’m standing in front of the door I insert the key, knowing it by its shape, as I feel it in my warm clammy hands. My cheeks are warm as everything that I’m doing makes a clunk noise, but it can’t be loud enough for mom to hear. Okay. Now it’s for twisting the key in the keyhole. I need to be quick and silent. 1,2,3… I twist it and clench hard on my teeth. A strange,pins and needles feeling erupt in my body as the door opens and makes a loud squeaky noise. I try to listen for any noise and movement coming from my mom’s room and thankfully not hearing anything, I escape the house into the cold night. There’s no wind in the air, so I don’t bother to close the door behind me, not wanting to make any more noise. Before I start running my eyes scan the boy’s cave and I take a deep calming breath when I see everything is stil. I start to take fast steps when a thought rushes to my mind.They’re going to smell me. Smells linger for up to three days and with their good noses I’ll be in trouble. I shake my head. What am I going to do? I pluck handfuls of grass and smear it all over my cloak, my face and hair, hoping that it will do it’s work. If not then I’ll have to lie myself out of it. I start to walk and when I’m a few meters away from the cottage I start to glide, to make my movements quicker and more silent, so that if there’s something that shouldn’t be here, wouldn’t hear me. When I reach the area where there's long weeds and grass I drift higher into the air. I hope no one sees me. Each movement that makes me nearer the place where it all happened, my thoughts drift towards Blake and everything that happened between us. It makes me nervous and sad at the same time. Tonight, I will find out what is going on. Why I saw Blake in flesh standing before me after I killed him. I swallow, when I can feel the area, clinging with memories underneath me. I land softly on my feet. I can do this. I start to shiver as the pond’s water makes the air thick with coldness. I CAN DO THIS! I encourage myself again as I let my powers word through the ground. A shock explodes through my body. What? He’s body is still there, swarming with maggots and other pests. I rub my hands over my face,feeling confused. Maybe I am crazy. Maybe I am imagining things. What am I going to do? What happened to me? Usually I would’ve known what to do, I would’ve worked things out, but now I’m like a frightened little girl. When I think that things can’t get worse, a voice fills the silence.

“I thought I might find you here.” I swirl around seeing Blake with a smile on his face. What the hell is going on?