My Crush or My Mate

7

Over the next two weeks, we fell into a routine. He would go to work and, for some reason, his Godmother Lisa would come and watch me, and when she wasn't watching me, I was getting together with cosmetology experts, getting the plans for my self-care idea for women and if they were comfortable men too. I wanted girls and women to love and pamper themselves, but to know how to do it, for skin, hair, makeup, and body.

Lisa wanted to help too and she was excited to hear what I had planned. She, at first, was nothing but my shadow, not really talking or interfering with things, and I wouldn't get in her way. I always made dinner, mostly with what I knew, but she then started teaching me more of what Nick liked, and honestly, it was not that hard to do. I loved learning from her. She made it interesting, and she even started talking to me about Nick.

"The first time I saw him phase, he told me not to run."

"You don't run from a predator, girl, it catches their attention more."

"So it takes him a second to get back into a human mindset?"

"That it does, and I know it would hurt him if he knew he hurt you." I looked at her.

"When you have a good heart, it is horrible to think of hurting others." She looked at me smiling knowingly as she turned back to the food.

"There is no worse blind person than the one that chooses not to see."

I knew that saying, and honestly I didn't know or want to admit it, not yet. I saw it every time Nick got home he was happy to see "us" both, but then, when we were alone, we would talk about the day. Just like a married couple, I saw how we were home with each other but, why? As I reminded him we'd known each other for a month and a week, everything was happening so fast, and it was reminding me of Mitch and how in four months we were married.

"I see it, Lisa, I just don't understand why and it scares me. I want to make sure what I'm walking into."

"I get that, Andrea, but I have also learned that sometimes destiny, fate, or whatever you believe in has its reasons, to go the way they do. For my godson, it's been to walk the world showing that not all beings are monsters. He wants to help to fight them, not be one."

Suddenly, something broke into the window and landed in a pile of feathers and bones. As we watched, maybe the crow ran into the window, causing it to break. But it started poping and cracking back together and it started forming human limps.

"RUN!"yelled Lisa and I got past it, but Lisa was grabbed by an arm. The guy from before started to form, before I could think of anything else I ran at them, grabbed the arm that was holding Lisa and bit down hard. He released Lisa but grabbed me by the neck, glaring down at me.

"Wait your turn." he then threw me. I hit the wall, and landed on my hands and knees.

"Andrea, run go get Nicolai!" she yelled, but I couldn't stop the ringing in my ears.

The anger I felt was overwhelming, it was burning so powerfully inside my chest, then. Then, without warning, I felt like I had ripped open and I attacked the guy before he could get any closer to Lisa. I dug my claws and teeth into his arm and legs. He roared with anger as he tried to grab me, but I was too fast. He threw me at a mirror and it came down on me. I saw myself, I was...a coyote.

I was stunned, and about to faint at what I was seeing. I turned into a coyote! Then I heard Lisa yell Nick's name and then the guys started fighting, but not for long. Soon the crow was flying out the window again. I ran to the room and under the bed.

I was shaking and scared when I heard the sound of boots on the floor walking toward the room. My nose told me it was Nick, but I needed to stay away for a minute.

"Andrea? It's okay, it's just me."

I yipped and growled at him.

"I know you're scared, but please come out.

I yipped and I guess he understood, because the next thing I knew he was coming toward me in coyote form, I yipped and snarled at him. He got closer and licked my face.

("You'll be okay.")

("how...I can hear you.") I stuttered out in my mind.

("Please come out.")

I looked at him. I was still shaking but I slowly followed him out. When he got out from under the bed, his Godmother came to him speaking the other language. As he got dressed, I stepped out from under the bed.

"Lisa, I didn't know this would happen."

Lisa was in a fit, as she got it all out. I sat there and Nick looked at me.

("How do I turn back?")

He bent down and looked into my eyes, and it felt like when someone helps you out of the water, you feel like the water is falling off of you and once you're out it's just you wet and cold. I was in human form again, it was the strangest feeling ever being on two feet again.

He grabbed a blanket, as he wrapped it around me, Lisa came over and saw the light scar from my dream.Then smacked Nick hard on the back of the head.

"You marked her!?"

"Not intentionally."

"What are you two talking about marking? I got this while I was sleeping."

They both went quiet and still, then turned to look at me.

Then Lisa glared up at him.

"When were you going to tell her?"she asked in a threatening tone.

"I wanted her to choose. If she had decided to stay I would've told her."

"That's not how it works, Nicolai, and you know it! You've heard the stories and what the consequences are if she leaves!"

"They're stories made by old people to keep women under their thumb. We're in the freakin' twenty-first century, Lisa, I can't force her to stay with me!"

I was completely lost in what was going on, but something started to make sense.

I walked past them both to let them argue, and went over to the sofa, and just sat down. The roller coaster of emotions came to a slow train ride, and I was almost asleep when. Nick came and sat next to me, and Lisa pulled a chair up.

"Okay Andrea, we have a few questions."

"Can it wait? I'm tired."

"I know you are, but depending on your answers there might be a problem."

"First the scoop of nasty crow ice cream, now the bad news, whipped cream topping." I said, sitting up.

They both got as comfortable as they could.

"When did you get the mark?"

"That first week, I was here in town, I've been having..um s*x dreams, and at some point in the first dream I got bitten."

I felt my face turn red, I wasn't going to tell anyone about these dreams and here I was naked and sharing.

"What happened after?" asked Lisa.

"I met Nick, and he just felt familiar like I had seen him before, but every time he was close I didn't dream of s*x. I could see things, like I was looking through someone else's eyes, the night you fought with your brother I saw you running toward the house, and then I woke up when you two started fighting."

Nick got up, rubbing his face with his hands. He was mad. Lisa gave him a look like saying I told you so.

"You're going to hate me so much in the next few minutes."

"What?Why?"

"Because if you had any plans of leaving, now it's not possible," said Lisa.

"Why?"

"Because we're mated, Andrea, you're my mate and there is no living thing to break the bond."

"Living? Meaning what?"

"Til death do you part." said Lisa with a sad smile.

I looked at Nick, and he sat down again, this time in a chair across the room. I was trying to process everything but something in my mind was fighting to stay at normal, and none of this was normal.

"That's why you keep asking if I was thinking of staying, huh?"I asked Nick.

"Andrea, I've heard the stories from every shapeshifter and half of them have never found their mates. When I first saw you, I knew, I knew but didn't let myself hope, I've waited for you all these years, but I can't force you if you don't want me, doesn't matter how much it kills me, to give you the option."

"But you could both die if you're apart."

"Lisa, that's..."

"What do you mean?"

"You just phased, you are one with Nicolai, he's as much a part of you as you are to him. If you leave, you will weaken him. His power won't be like it is now, half of it is now yours."

"If I die?"

"If you die, that part of the gift will die with you, but if he dies you'll forever carry his gift." I was shocked, this was getting to be a lot to take in.

"If I were to marry a different man?" They both looked at me.

"Then have fun explaining this little mishap."

Lisa pointed at me and Nick, obviously trying not to laugh.

"That's why I didn't want to force you into anything. The choice is yours."

With that, he got up and walked out of the house. Lisa looked at me a little disappointed.

"Don't give me that look, so far I have gotten into a whole lot of s**t, I have no idea what I'm doing!"

"I've seen my son grow, Andrea, and not once have I seen that look he gives you, he cares deeply for you. I understand your fear, but understand his. He just found you and there's a chance he could lose the very thing he only thought was in stories and dreams."

I looked at her, and took all that in. All of this has been so different from what is normal, but this is Nick's normal, and I can keep kicking, denying, and fighting it or accept my new reality and go with it. I had an attraction to him without a name or label to it, now that I know has it really changed all that much? I still like him, maybe..just maybe if I gave him a chance...

I got dressed and walked out to talk to Nick. He was sitting on the ground a ways away. I could feel his emotions: fear, frustration, sadness, he really thought I would just fall in line with everything. I got closer and sat down next to him.

"I'm sorry if I'm not what you expected."

"You are..in a way."

"Nick, look at me, I'm not saying no, but..."

"You need time, I can't force it, so I have to accept it even if I don't like it."

"I want to learn, help me understand."

He seemed to really think about it, though I was worried things had changed so fast, they could do it again.

"Fine, but not today."

"And I was wondering about your theory of concecrated ground out the window, where to next?"

"It still stands true he didn't stand on the ground, he flew into the house."

"Okay, so can I still stay or would it be better if I left?"

"It's up to you, which is better to you?"

I rolled my eyes, but I knew I needed to stay. I got to my feet and headed inside. Lisa and I got things cleaned up and made dinner.

"Hey, Lisa, do you know any other potions?"

"Sure, what did you have in mind?"

I just smiled at her,and hoped my plan would come through.

The routine continued, but now Nick was teaching me to phase, it was a little harder. I thought, more because my code of modesty was still standing tall, I didn't like being completely naked out in the open. Nick said if I wanted to keep my clothes on, I would be fine.

"You need to relax. You're over thinking it, it's more feeling than thinking."

As I sat there still trying, I couldn't focus, everything they told me was still weighing on my mind. I knew what I was feeling for Nick, but what if I wasn't what he really wanted in the future? I knew we barely knew each other and, let alone, being destined for each other, and he'd already claimed me, but what if I did leave? I grunted in anger but nothing happened.

I dropped to the ground like a toddler throwing a fit. I was scared of a lot of things and this was slowly becoming one of them. Nick came and knelt in front of me. He's been excited about everything I can tell, but also a little disappointed every time I fail to phase again.

"I'm sorry." I cried with tears in my eyes.

"It's going to take time, Andrea, we'll figure things out."

The knot of fear twisted in my chest, I had a feeling and I could see something happening. He got to his feet and offered his hand to help me up.

"Come on, I have an idea."

I took his hand and he pulled me to the truck and we drove to the old dam. Well, the town dam. There was one further up the road but there was a river that ran through town, so they built a dam here too. It was right next to the rodeo stadium, where they had the county fair, or you could rent the place for your own party. We got there, but kept going, passing a no trespassing sign. My friends and I used to come here to go swimming, but after the new owner put up the signs, we never dared to come in here anymore.

"I think you misread the sign."

"Don't worry, I know the owner. He told me I could come for a swim whenever I wanted."

I sat back as we went to a different part I had never explored, and it was the most secluded spot I had ever seen. It was surrounded by trees and bushes. The curve of the river also made it hard to see people hiding around. Nick jumped out and went around to my side and opened the door.

"Come on."

I was in shorts and a regular top, but I just didn't want to make this into something it wasn't.

"Not right now, I'll get down, but no pushing."

"That's fine. I just want you to relax."

I nodded and got down, following behind him, and he led me by the hand. He started to take his clothes off but not his boxers, which surprised me, but for the most part I couldn't really complain.

There wasn't an ounce of fat on him, he had a nice muscle tone, not super buffy, just right. His hair was in a type of bowl cut but blended better, and those honey brown eyes just made my pulse race. I still remember Mitch, like Nick, he always did a type of bowl cut and knew how to blend it himself, but his hair was jet black and straight, and like Nick, Mitch had had a nice body, thick with muscle. I had always wondered what he saw in me when he had so many women like him that didn't mind the heavy lifting. I didn't mind it, but not the way some of the cowgirls in North Dakota did it, calf wrestling and horse barrel racing, or anything that had to do with what he liked. He never complained about my lack of ranch girl feeling, he respected me to the day he...

I felt the tears rolling down my face, somethings were better forgotten, but I think I will never forget the last thing I said to him. After eleven years of being married, I just couldn't believe it came to that.

A splash of water suddenly pulled me out of my thoughts. Nick had jumped in and close enough the splash reached me.

"Hey!?"

"Come on, the water feels great."

I went over to where he was and glared down at him, but it did feel great. The sun was up pretty high. I started taking my clothes off and he went still for a moment. I was just down to my bra and underwear.

"Will you help me in?"

"Sure."

He came up a little and took my hand. I followed and we settled in the water. I sighed in relief, the water against my hot skin was perfect. I dipped my head in the water, getting my hair wet. When I came back up, Nick's eyes wanted to eat me whole.

"What?"

He moved his head side to side once, the only moment he took his eyes off me.Then they were back on me. He had this game where I could tell he would take me the moment I asked him, but I didn't want him to get the idea that I'm easy to get into bed, even if I wouldn't refuse the offer either.

He came closer to me, even when the water was cool, his body touching mine, warmed me up just as well. A hand slowly ran up my leg under the water, as the other went behind my neck, bringing my face closer to his, making our lips meet. They started slow and passionate, then carefully, slowly escalated to hungry and demanding. Without thinking, I wrapped my legs around his waist, and was spooked when I felt him. He had his underwear and I mine, but just feeling the little friction. My mind was suddenly reminding me, I have never been with another man. I stopped Nick, and pulled away. Not daring to look up at his face, but when I did, again disappointment.

"I'm sorry." I quickly let go and jumped out of the water, and grabbed my clothes. When we suddenly heard a few gun shots out of no where.

"We better get going." He had already gotten his clothes on and was headed toward the truck, but didn't get in. I finished and went to the drivers' side.

"I need to check things out and I'll see ya later."

"What about your clothes?"

He turned into his coyote form, took his clothes in his mouth, and ran off.

Great he was mad at me now. I got into the truck and headed back to the house.