My Crush or My Mate

5

I sat down, not even fighting anything. Secretly, I had always wished to meet one of these people, but now that I had, something was telling me to run for the hills. He pushed a cup of coffee toward me, and I downed it. The bitter taste woke me up more.

He leaned back at his counter just waiting for me to ask.

"Okay, this is going to sound so bad, but how are you not ugly or cursed looking?"

He wanted to laugh, but held it under control.

"Of all the things, you want to know how I ended up good looking?"

"Yes..I mean, don't you guys look like animal corpses, and being able to copy voices and...and."

I looked at him , there was no better way to describe what I thought.

"Okay, I was born good looking just like any other person." I took a deep breath, and looked to rephrase the question.

"When were you cursed, sold your soul to the devil, or were you born like this?"

"I was born like this, according to my godmother, I started phasing from the time I was one."

"How did your family take it?" He got serious, like that was going too far in question.

"My father was native, and my mother was Hispanic, both having shaimen and medicine men in their background. Mom had never practiced but Dad loved poking around at things he shouldn't. When they all found out, Dad wanted all of us to be able to phase, he was willing to kill me to get my power. That was the night I went to live with my godparents. I was three."

I went cold, that was awful to hear, when I thought my own father was awful for wanting me to marry just for money.

"I'm sorry, this is just so much to take in."

"Like I said, I didn't mean for you to find out, I've lived on the down low my whole life and I don't need unwanted attention."

" Who's going to believe me?"

"In this God-fearing town, people will start poking their noses just to find out the truth."

"You might have a point there, but I'm not telling anybody, but it's very clever to hide among the faithful."

"The other kind can't walk on consecrated grounds, so yeah, I thought so too."

We sat there for a moment, then he dropped the question.

"So about that long story, what's going on? I can feel your energy every so often. It becomes very depressing then up to happy again, is it about Veals?"

I gave him a look.

"Please, well, the truth is I'm over Veals, or now I am."

He came and sat next to me, giving me another cup of coffee with cream and sugar this time.I took a deep breath.

"I was married before. I got married when I was eighteen. Mitch Andrews was his name and he helped me grow in a way that made me see the world in a different life. When I was younger, I was in a shell, I got bullied and pushed around by family or friends. When I met him, I thought he was joking at first about how he wanted a life with me. He was my first and my only for eleven years, and just after our 11th anniversary he..he was killed in a cattle accident. They were branding that day, and were getting the cattle in to get started. His horse got spooked by something, he tried to control it, it fell on top of him, before the others knew what happened a hundred head of cattle had already trampled him. I was pregnant with our first baby, and I miscarried when they told me the news."

I was shaking but I held on, as the tears ran down my face.

"So where does Veals fit in all this?"

I could tell he wanted to hug me, but he pushed the subject forward.

"We grew up together somewhat. I used to have the biggest crush on him, and his sister was one of my friends, or at least that's what I thought, and from what I understood, he's getting cold feet, and he wants me to give him a motive to ditch his fiance."

"No, he wants to get into your pants one more score before he ties the knot."

"See, so much for being my friend."

"He's lusting Andrea, he wants to prove to himself he can still have anyone he sets his sights on, and what better way to test it than the one who's been begging for his attention."

"And here I thought it was my good looks."

"Your looks are not the problem, it's his ego. Any other man would be lucky to have you."

"That's if I ever give myself the chance."

"So all the guys I've been seeing you with.."

"Who?"

"The ones at the gas station, then the one at the party?"

"They're Mitch's brothers, the ones at the gas station are his little brothers and the one at the party was his older brother."

"What's the deal there?"

"Their mother hates me, because she wanted to move Mitch here to bury him next to his father, but me and her oldest son decided I could bury him anywhere I wanted."

"That's why you're thinking of moving back?"

"Partly, the other part is because my parents want me to marry a rich man to combine fortunes, but I don't want money or a cold marriage."

"Sounds reasonable."

"Yeah, but they don't care, they just want me under their thumb like when I was younger, and they hated Mitch for teaching me to stand up for myself."

I sat there as I thought about what they would say if their next son-in-law was a shapeshifter. I hid my smile as I took a drink from my mug. It didn't last long because I knew I couldn't call that kind of attention to Nick, and the better thing would be if we stopped hanging out. The house was mostly done. I could do the rest without him, he could continue lying low.

"Anyway, if you didn't mean for me to find out, why bring me out here?"

"After the beating they gave you, I thought keeping you away for a while would be best."

I looked at my watch and saw it was Monday. I have already been here for two nights.

"Thanks Nick, but running away in this case won't work, I'll need to get back to the house at some point."

"I seriously don't like you being alone."

"I'll be fine, I always am, and don't worry about the house. I'll finish on my own, it's not that much left to do."

"Andrea..."

"No, Nick, I'm already a risk to you , you don't need me around to complicate things, but thank you for your help."

I got up from my chair and he didn't seem happy with what I said, but he got to his feet and we got to the car and he drove me home.

Once outside, I jumped out, not saying anything to Nick. As I walked, I could feel his eyes on my back. As I got to the door and tried to pull my keys out, he suddenly took the keys from my shaking hands and helped me.

Then he bent down very close to my ear and just whispered.

"I'll be around."

I looked up at him,and was about to ask what he meant, when he kissed my cheek softly. Then walked away from me. I watched him leave, then, I turned and found Jesse standing there glaring at me.I got inside and in the shower, just trying to wash away the bad parts of the night.

True to his word, Nick kept coming around but he didn't talk to me or have any real interaction with me. He would come and cut the grass and he was gone. I continued the renovations to the house. The only thing left was the paint in the whole house. I also had a new little friend. The black cat would show up every so often, and it would keep me company. On rare occasions, it stayed the night with me, cuddling close to my back at night.

I was falling into a routine and I liked it. At my parents' house it was always the same thing, never going anywhere but to hang around in the house. They complained about how much we spent, but they also hated seeing us working. I had finished high school but had never known what I wanted in life. I had actually been inspired by Nick, helping girls learn makeup and grooming themselves. Doing little workshops would be fun.I knew who I'd ask too to help me.

I talked with some women from the church to ask for their advice and they were enthusiastic, but then one afternoon, the bishop called me to meet in his office at the church. It was weird because I had gone to school with this man. He was older, of course, but I still went to school with him.

"How have you been, Andrea? Are you adopting well?"

"I'm doing great. I just came up with a new project."

"So I heard and it would definitely be a good thing for our young women."

"I thought so too."

He gave me an awkward smile, then cleared his throat and got really serious.

"Andrea, have you been fornicating?"

I almost burst out in laughter, more because of the stress this was causing the man, and second, because the saying was true. Small town big hell. I composed myself and cleared my throat.

"No, I haven't..fornicated with anyone, I'm still a widow and waiting for the possible new man God wants me to have."

"What is your relationship with the man, Nicolai Silver Moon?"

"He's just someone helping me with the house." My stomach twisted at me saying that out loud, when did that become a lie?

The bishop gave me skectial look but believed me and excused me, thanking me for coming to meet with him. As I walked back to my truck, I caught a glimpse of something. A coyote, but this time it really was like the old stories. It looked like it was shredding its flesh off and it smiled at me an evil bone-chilling smile.

Quickly, I jumped in my truck and drove back home. When I got to the house, there was Jesse, sitting on my concrete steps.

"Leave me alone!"

"Andy, I'm sorry about..."

"I don't care Jess, go back to that crazy b***h you're going to marry. If you don't, it's not my problem, just leave me alone!"

I opened my door and he suddenly pushed me inside, he slammed me up against the wall, and forced his mouth on mine. I tried to push him off me, but he had me pinned. Then, without thinking, I bit down on his lip and he screamed, pulling back, then I kneed him right in between the legs. He fell to the floor in pain.I bent down toward him a little.

"Did I make myself clear or did you want a better explanation?" He just shook his head and I got him to his feet and pushed him out of my house.

I went to the kitchen to put ice on my lips, as the thought came back to me. I missed Nick, but now it was too late to go back. For some reason, even if he never kissed me, I still imagined it, from time to time.

"Any man would be lucky to have you." was what he said, but not him I guess. I took my ice to the living room and sat down. I wondered if there were signs of some kind or how all this worked, but I knew for a fact nobody would talk to me. I went on the internet and found a bunch of stories talking about dreams of death, disaster, famine, or just dreams like warning the person. Then what did my dreams mean? They were all about a man. I've never seen his face but we have so much s*x in my dreams and it feels so real. When I wake up, I'm satisfied and feeling good about everything. It helps me clear my mind, but when Nick is around, those dreams are more about him and the others. What did I have to do with all this?

It was only six in the afternoon, but it was Sunday, a whole week and a half without speaking to Nick. It was weird, but unless he told me he wanted to see me again, then I guess I had no voice for now, or maybe I was going back to North Dakota and getting married to Dad's business partner's son.I got comfortable on the sofa and fell asleep, feeling drained.

I was running along a sidewalk and feeling afraid, but not for me for her. I had to run and make sure she was okay. Then I saw him. I didn't know how I knew it was a he, but it was the same creature I saw earlier, it was sneaking up toward a window, to a room. In my room. Suddenly, I was on top of it. Growls and snarls rang out, as we tumbled around, each trying to kill the other, then he had me by the back and sank his teeth into the scruff of my back and threw me.

I woke up with a jolt, and heard the snarls outside. I quickly got to my feet and ran out. The thing from earlier looked up at me and seemed to grin at me, he began to inch closer toward me and a different thing came out of nowhere and rammed into him. Out of the darkness, I heard a yelp and then it was quiet, but then it was soft and low.

"Andrea." he sounded like he was choking, it was Nick. I walked toward him and found him.

He was covered in blood and I took off my shirt to press down. Then I carefully helped him inside of the house. He was completely naked. The good thing was it was a moonless night, and nobody could see. I got him into my room and laid him down, and saw how bad it looked, his insides were almost falling out. How was it he was still alive, but he was. I knew the others could regenerate limbs but I had no idea if Nick could.

"Nick, what do I do? Tell me what to do?"

"Nothing there's...nothing you can do."

"There has to be something."

He just shook his head and pulled me toward him.

"Don't leave, just sit here with me, will you?"

I was going to sit there and watch him slowly bleed out. I really tried to pull away to go get some bandages but he didn't let go.I felt the tears fall down my face, I didn't want to see him die. He pulled me down next to him and I sat so his head could rest on my legs. I ran my fingers through his hair for a little, he had gone to sleep,or just gone peacefully. I have no idea when I fell asleep but I did, and when I woke up he was cuddling me from behind. I slowly got up and took a look at his wound, it was gone.

I sat back on the bed, he was completely healed. How? He looked exhausted, so I let him sleep, and went to make breakfast. By the time I was done, I heard the shower running. I went over to the blanket cabinet and pulled out a towel, and was about to knock on the door, when I remembered he was the first naked man I'd seen since Mitch. Clearing my throat and gulping, I knocked softy.

"You can come in Andrea." I had hoped he hadn't heard me, so slowly I walked in and, without looking, handed him the towel.

"I brought you this, but I don't have any clothes for ya."

He took the towel and wrapped it around his waist, covering himself or at least the most intimating part anyway.

He grinned mischievously and it made me nervous.

" I can hear your heart and how it beats faster when I'm close to you."

"Really, can you tell me when you started making my heart race?"

"the night of the party was the first time you accepted it, but it's grown."

He walked closer and closer to me, slowly backing me up to the wall, our faces so close to each other.

"Will you let me kiss you, or will you continue to run away?"

I looked into his eyes and knew what I wanted.

"Kiss me, Nick."

The words had barely left my mouth, when he swooped down and took my mouth with his, the fire blazed inside of me. That was the answer I had been looking for. His kiss was gentle and longing, but soon enough went up in passion, deeper with desire. He picked me up and wrapped my legs around his waist. A soft moan escaped me as the little friction between us was getting me aroused. Then I realized we were moving a little too fast, and slowed everything down.

"You're sweeter than I imagined. I've wanted to kiss you for a while."He kissed me again.

"Nick, slow down, you were just hurt last night..."

"I can't let him hurt you, as much as I've tried to fight it and deny it, I really like you Andrea and care if something happens to you."

I grinned because that's how I felt, and did feel my heart start to break at the thought of him dying. I kissed him one more time before I lost control and jumped him.

"I'll be back." I walked past him and looked inside of my drawers, and pulled out an old shirt and jeans that used to be Mitch's and went back to the bathroom.

"I thought you didn't have..." He smelled the shirt, and looked at me.

"It's okay, It's time I let go."

I walked to the kitchen to give him room to change and I served the food and took it to the living room.It was time to have a serious talk.