Love in the Shadow

Chapter 10: A challenging Conversation

The air tightened with an unsaid tension the instant my dad entered the room. As I looked at my worried-looking mother, my heart started to hammer. "What's going on, Dad??" Trying to keep my voice calm, I asked. Uncertainty started to weigh down my shoulders. David inhaled deeply, his manner austere. "Mia, I've been considering your mom's treatment and the course of direction our family should follow." I nodded to tell him to keep going. "What about it?” "We have to weigh all of our choices," he added, his voice stern. "Your mother is thinking about therapy that will take a lot of time and money; I want to make sure we are ready for the commitment." A little gesture of comfort that reminded me of the strength they shared, my mother reached out for his hand. Her voice quivering slightly, "I appreciate your support, David," she added. "I want to do this but I also know it will be difficult." "I'll do whatever it takes to help," I said, feeling my own will surge. "We can go through the financial side jointly. I am nowhere. Though David gazed at me with pride, he still carried a shade of concern. I want to talk about that. We should definitely give family members some thought for help. We might have to create a fund specifically for your mother's treatment. "Family?"? My heart sank as I repeated. "You mean..." Aunt Lila and Uncle Tom?" "Yes," David said, his face unchanging. "They could be able to support us financially. One should find it worthwhile to ask. Though it's not easy, we have to be reasonable about the expenses involved. Inside me, I was spinning a range of feelings. I hated the thought of involving relatives much as I wanted to help my mother. My voice faltering, I added, "I don't want to feel like we're begging for help." David squeezed the hand of my mother. "It is asking for help during a time of need; it is not begging. For each other, we are family and act accordingly. Though I knew he was right, the idea of revealing our weaknesses made me uncomfortable. "Could we first look at other possibilities? Perhaps I could pick up something like more shifts? Desperate to find another, I offered. "Let's keep that as an option, but it might not be enough," my dad said, his voice soft but forceful. "We have to be reasonable about our future." Mom stared at me with a mix of thanks and anxiety. "I value your eagerness to contribute, Mia. We do not, however, want you to give up your future for my therapy. "Mom, I want to help," I said. "You are my family and I will do all it takes." David nodded, his countenance softening. "I appreciate Mia's great support. Let us consider this, though, before we decide. As I worked through the chat, I developed a knot in my abdomen. Though the thought of involving family felt daunting, I wanted to help my mom. My head started to wander to Lucas and the unresolved conflict hovering around as the conversation went on. We had finished talking about the logistics, and I excused myself to have a break. I had to clear my thoughts and work through the mixed emotions around Lucas. I left onto the porch and inhaled deeply of the cool evening air. Orange and pink painted the heavens, a lovely reminder that life carried on despite the turmoil. As I reached for my phone to text Lucas, it buzzed in my hand. When I opened the message, he was once again present. Lucas: Would be possible for us to meet? I would be quite happy to discuss everything. At his message, my heart flew. I knew I had to see him if I was to know where we stood following the Jess encounter. Me: Right now I am free. Where is the meeting you wish to have? Lucas: How about that lakefront location? Our previous chat in the park came flooding back, and I was both excited and nervous. Me: All good. I'll be here shortly. The sun started to set as I drove to the lake, bathing the water in a warm glow. Though my whirling ideas eclipsed the beauty, it was still wonderful. My family's circumstances was weighing on me, entwining with my emotions for Lucas. When I got there, he was seated meditatively resting against a tree. Concern written on his face, he straightened up and moved toward me as soon as he noticed me. "Hey," he replied gently, his voice heated. "Thanks for coming.." Of sure, I said, attempting to sense his attitude. "What did you want to talk about?" He moaned and ran a hand over his hair. "I wanted to clear the record on Jess. She is rather distressed when I spoke with her. I never intended for things to grow this complex. To help me control my feelings, I crossed my arms. "I watched her in the eatery. She seemed wounded. "I know," he responded, his voice weighted with remorse. "I never intended to guide her on. Clearly, I was mistaken. I assumed I could handle both relationships without hurting anyone. "What do you wish for, Lucas?" My voice quivering somewhat, I asked. "Do you want to be with her or with me?" He moved forward, eyes fixed on me. "I want to be by your side. I now see that I am more in love with you. Still, I have to treat Jess fairly as well. "What does that mean?" Feeling the weight of his remarks, I asked. "I want to tell her straight forwardly. He said, not wanting to drag this out. "I have to cut it off with her permanently, but it will hurt her." I drew a long breath, conflicted. You have to act morally for yourself. But I don't want to cause someone else injury. Lucas moved back, his face solemn. "Mia, I want you out of limbo not kept in limbo. Though I should do this the proper way, I want to be with you. "Okay," I responded, my heart pounding. "I value your candor, but this is all so fresh and daunting. I wish not to jump into anything without knowing Jess's reaction. "I understand," he said, speaking really. "But you should be aware that I give you first priority. I missed you and wish to investigate this link. We turned to see a great rustle in the bushes just then. My heart sunk when a figure materialized and I identified the silhouette. She was Jess. "Lucas, we have to talk," she urged as she walked toward us. Her eyes fluttered between the two of us, and my heart started to rush. Twist: Jess's sudden arrival broke the moment once more and left me torn between my love for Lucas and the facts of their circumstances. As I stood there unsure of what would happen next, I felt the weight of the earth down on me.