My Italian Doctor

Chapter Thirty Four

I woke up beside him the next day and felt awful. It was a huge mistake. I never should have allowed it to happen, but I didn't seem at all able to stop it. Despite that, I knew I had given him false hope. The truth was, I still didn't know what to do with what he had told me. I was even certain I believed him, I wanted to, but I still couldn't work out why Sharon would go to such lengths after six years apart. It was still possible that he was a really good liar.

I slid out of bed and started getting ready for work. I would need to wake him before I left, but I wouldn't do it until I had to. I needed time to think, space to think. I wanted to believe him but I needed to be sure. I had no idea how he could possibly even make it so I was sure. It seemed like an impossible task.

I had hoped that getting in the shower would help. That it would wash away the smell of him that lingered on my skin. Even wash away the doubts, but it didn't. I seriously considered calling in sick for work. It wasn't like I would be of much use to them with how distracted I was. I just couldn't do it. Staying in the flat wouldn't do me any good anyway.

I finished getting ready for work before I eased myself down onto the bed. Taking a few deep breaths to try and give me the courage to say what needed to be said.

"George, wake up." I shook him slightly. Well, more than slightly, he was pretty out of it. I had no idea how long he had been awake, but it had taken its toll on him.

"Morning, beautiful." The guilt raged through me like it never had before. It was like it had its own heartbeat and it was ringing in my ears.

"Last night shouldn't have happened. Nothing has really changed. I still don't know if I can trust you and this thing between us can't go any further without trust. I'm sorry, George, I really am."

"Don't worry about it, I'll find a way. I know you won't be able to resist my charms for long." I rolled my eyes at him but was grateful he had taken it better than I had expected.

"I've got to go to work. I won't be back till gone nine."

"It's fine, I'm sure I can keep myself occupied."

"Fancy sharing with me how long your planning on staying?"

"Till you agree to come back with me. However, if you take too long I might just tie you up and smuggle you out of the country." The idea sent a tingle through me, but I did my best to contain it. There was no way I was letting him know how easy it was for him to elicit a reaction from me. I took one last look at him, naked and dishevelled, in my bed and left. I needed to get out before things got any more out of hand.

It was Carlson's day off, so I was already covering his job and my own. I sat in the office trying to organise the sous chef interviews while he wasn't there to stop me. I sighed when the phone rang, it felt like the universe was trying to stop me from getting any work done.

"Hello."

"Emily, I can't come in. I'm not very well." I suspected there was in fact nothing wrong with Sarah, it wasn't the first time she had pulled a sicky and I was getting so annoyed with her in general.

"Fine, see you tomorrow!" I slammed the phone down on her, there was no point arguing with her. It wasn't like I could prove there was nothing wrong with her. Which just gave me yet another job to cover all day. At least it would keep me busy and stop me from thinking about George.

Emily: Sarah's called in sick. If you manage until the lunchtime rush, then I will come down and help out. Any problems come and get me.

Kat: No worries, I'm sure we can cope.

I loved Kat. She was one of the older members of staff and she was never interested in anything but getting on with the job. She had saved my bacon more times than I could count.

I was still stuck at the computer going through things when she turned up at the office door about an hour later. "Sorry Em. We are unusually busy today. Are you free to come to give us a hand?"

"Yeah, sure. I will be down in a minute." I barely even looked up as I spoke. Trying to get the last advert submitted before I needed to head down. I was still distracted as I walked down the stairs, mentally checking off everything I had managed to get done and what I still needed to sort out. I was halfway through the restaurant when I finally paid attention to my surroundings. It was just in time to see George.

He was sitting at a table, looking over the menu without a care in the world. For the moment, I ignored him. I had jobs to get on with and one of them was speaking with Julian. I headed straight into the kitchen just to let him know I had managed to put the adverts out and hoped to get some interviews set up later that day. If I got it done fast enough, Carlson would have a hard time stopping the process once the ball was rolling.

Once that was handled, I grabbed my apron and headed to deal with George. I felt so stupid, waiting on him, but better for it to be me rather than someone else doing it. He didn't seem to be expecting it to be me. He was still looking at the menu when I stood beside the table waiting patiently, pencil and pad in hand. The look of shock on his face was enough to betray the situation to anyone who was paying attention. Luckily, they were all too busy.

"What are you doing here?"

"Getting food, I assumed that much was obvious. There's no food at your place."

"I haven't had a chance to do any shopping since I got back. You could have chosen to eat anywhere."

"But here I had the chance of seeing you."

"After the way, you blew up at me for coming to the hospital. Did you really think it was a good idea?"

"That was different." I smiled at Kat as she passed us on the way to the kitchen and started tapping my foot on the floor impatiently. "It risked my job."

"Given that you told my boss you were a journalist, the situations are pretty alike actually."

"What do you want to eat?"

"The service here isn't great, I might have to put that in my pretend article."

"Order, Geroge, now!"

"Full English and coffee please." I went to leave but at the sound of him clearing his throat, I stopped and turned back to him. "Do you not want to know how I want it?"

"No, trespassers get it however it comes." I dropped the order into the kitchen before pausing at the bar to get a drink.

"Table number eight is rather fit." I hadn't even heard Kat come up behind me and jumped as she laid a hand on my back. Very nearly covering the black glass bar with lemonade mixed with my spit. "Do you want to swap tables?"

"You know what, Kat, go for it. He was being difficult anyway."

As his order came up, she grabbed it and sashayed over to the table. I couldn't stop the giggle that erupted but it soon halted when she sat down at the table with him. I was horrified. Somehow, I knew he would be up to no good, he always was. The pair of them were laughing away together. Seeing the two of them together brought me a moment of clarity. I was beyond annoyed with him because I knew he would be sharing way too much with Kat, but there wasn't the slightest pang of jealousy.

I wasn't jealous because I didn't consider for one moment that there was any reason to be. Kat was a good-looking girl, about his age and she was a hoot. I loved her to bits, yet I never considered for one second that he would go near her. If I trusted him to flirt with Kat, then why didn't I believe him? Part of me wondered if, in fact, the reason I refused to believe him was nothing to do with him or his wife but completely to do with me. It was an unnerving thought.

No matter which way I thought about it, it was the only explanation I could come up with. I had pounced on his wife's lies in order to run away. The only problem was I had no idea why I had felt the need to run away in the first place. Despite believing it wasn't George who had the issue, I wouldn't be informing him of my newfound clarity. Not until I had time to speak to someone I trusted about it. The only person I could even think of was my dad. I hoped he would be able to help me figure out what was going on in the deep recesses of my brain because I didn't have a hope of doing it alone. At the end of the day, even if I had used it all as an excuse to run, he had still kept it from me and that wasn't acceptable.