Before June

Before June: Sixteen✓

Location: Davao

When we arrived in Davao, I only slept an hour because my annoying companion woke me up at five in the morning to start hiking ‘cause it will take a few more days to climb to the top of Mt. Apo, also known locally as Apo Sandawa. It is a large solfataric, dormant stratovolcano located in Davao, Philippines. With an elevation of 2,956 meters above sea level, it’s the highest mountain in the Philippines Archipelago and is considered to be the grandfather of the Philippine Mountains and 24th highest peak of an island on Earth.

Apo is also considered by many hikers as the most difficult mountain to climb. Although it will take 2-5 days before we reach the top of it, I still want to continue. It will surely be a challenge for me who has a chronic illness, but I still want to continue. I want to do everything on my bucket list, as long as I have time.

“Just focus on the path,” my annoying companion said while my camera was slung around his neck. “Don’t be afraid and just follow me.”

I didn’t answer him and just followed him as well as he said even though I was out of breath. We are also close to the first station so I won’t complain.

We climbed for about an hour. The road is a bit rocky and narrow so it really loses a lot of energy but I just followed Elm. We just followed the trail and focused on climbing. My foot hurts because we’ve been walking for a while but it’s okay, I know it’ll be worth it.

Even though it was cold and windy, I was sweating profusely. Fortunately, we were really close to the first station, it seemed like I just wanted to stay there because I was really tired but I wanted it so I will continue ‘til I make it to the top of the mountain.

I remembered my parents suddenly, making me nervous. They don’t have any idea what their daughter is doing now. All they knew was that I was just traveling, what they didn’t know was that I was doing what I knew would cause harm to me in the end. I hope I won’t regret this decision that I made.

“I think I don’t want to do this anymore.” I coughed and sat on a boulder when we got to the first station. I drank water but I still had a hard time breathing. I also wiped my sweat with my towel while still coughing, my one hand was holding my chest while the other wiped my sweat. “I’m tired.”

We stayed a few minutes at the first station to rest but we also left immediately to continue the climb. The weeds around are getting bigger and bigger. I stopped walking and wiped the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand, not knowing that Elm is far from me already. He’s so fast, I can’t keep up.

“Let’s go, Anna!”

Elm clapped his hands to motivate me. I nodded and accepted his hand so I could stand up and we could continue to climb. The chirping of birds can be heard around and pleasing to the ears. The sun was already up so it was very hot. Fortunately, I was wearing a thin jacket and before we went earlier, I applied sunscreen to my skin so it wouldn’t be burned by the sun’s heat.

“Do you want to go back or do you still want to continue hiking? Your choice," he asked, concerned.

I shrugged. “No, let’s just continue this.”

If we come back, we will definitely get tired, too. So it will be good for us to just continue. And one more thing, I decided this so I’ll do this. I’m the one who plans this hike so I’ll continue.

“Okay, just let me know if you want me to do something so we can reach the mountain top immediately.” He smiled meaningfully. “We have a long, rocky, and narrow road to go.”

He’s still very energetic even though he’s sweaty and it’s so unfair he doesn’t stink, he still smells great. While me? I look so haggard already and smell so bad because of my sweats. I feel like he loves hiking and he had done it a few times so it seems like this is just easy for him. I’m not that fond of sports and I get tired easily.

“Why do you seem so used to things like this?” I could no longer restrain my curiosity and asked.

He laughed and continued walking through the rocky and narrow road. “Of course, my team and I walk higher and farther when we have a mission to do, it’s also more dangerous. Especially in the Dark forest we went to, it’s the most dangerous forest in our world.”

“How dangerous? Rate one to ten,” I said and raised an eyebrow at him.

“One hundred.”

“Really?” I asked, but I didn’t believe him.

“Yes.”

“Okay, I’ll just pretend I believe in that so-called dark forest,” I just said.

There’s no such thing like that here on Earth. There’s no dark forest or something like that. And of course, all of the forests are dangerous because of the wild animals. I know he’s just scaring me or something, so I won’t believe in him.

He chuckled. “Okay, then.”

We just continued to climb until late in the afternoon and I was so tired, it seemed like I didn’t have the energy to go up and continue anymore. We still have a long way to walk to get to the top but I don’t have energy anymore because apart from not having enough sleep, I also slipped on a rock earlier so I can’t walk properly because my ankle hurts.

“Do you still want to continue?” Elm asked again but now he was really serious while treating my wound on my knee.

“Yes,” I answered, determined to continue climbing up. I don’t know what he is trying to point out and he’s been asking that question even though my answers are all the same. I’m starting to get annoyed. “But I need to rest to regain my energy, but that just means I can’t watch the sunset that I came here for.”

“Is that so?” He offered his hand to help me stand, and I accepted. I shouted silently and closed my eyes tightly as he pulled my waist closer to him. I was stunned for a moment by his serious face but also immediately avoided and slightly pushed him away which I would not have done because I fell to the ground.

I stood up in tears while holding my butt and it just shouted in my mind because my ankle hurt even more.

Elm purses his lips to stop himself from laughing. “It’s your fault, not mine.”

I glared at him and walked away but I immediately regretted it again when I stumbled upon a relatively small rock. Tears start to form in my eyes and flow from my cheeks. “I will literally punch your face if you laugh at me right now, Elm.”

“I didn’t laugh!” he discriminated. But I could still see in my peripheral vision that he was smiling and biting his lower lip to suppress his own laugh.

“Damn it!” I shouted when I tried to stand up but I fell again. “Help me up!”

“Alright, you’re so grumpy,” he said and helped me to stand up.

I hit his chest hard while still crying in pain in his arms. He wiped my tears with his thumb as he stroked my hair to calm me down. Stupid rocks!

In a blink of an eye, I just realized that our surroundings had changed, I rolled my eyes around and realized that we were at the very top. I went down to his arm and no longer felt the pain there so I knew he was the one who cured it.

“It’s almost sunset, you made it,” he said so I turned around at him. The yellow-red rays of the sun hit his smiling face which made him even more handsome.

“I didn’t make it, you teleported me here,” I corrected.

I turned around again to look at the setting sun. We saw on the horizon how the sun’s gradually setting as if the ocean swallowed its light.

No one speaks between the two of us. Probably we’re all awed and shocked at how beautiful this moment is. Watching the sunset from the top of the highest mountain in the Philippines is one of my dreams, which is on my bucket list. I looked at Elm, he made my dreams and goals come true. Without him, I would not have been able to get to the top of Mt. Apo because of its height. He accompanied me even though we were still strangers.

I also knew he would leave one day when they finished his mission. He has his own life, he needs to go back to where he came from and do his duty. I don’t know what. We may not know each other that much, I’m comfortable with him and safe.

Elm once said that as a guardian, they were not allowed to fall in love with humans like me. If a guardian loves, he must also love a guardian. Being in a relationship or falling in love with humans is f*******n and considered as a big mistake and crime. A guardian will face severe punishment when he loves someone, it’s either he will be killed in public or tortured before being killed.

“Aren’t you tired of playing in the circle of life?” he asked and looked at me.

What is he trying to point at now? But I admit his question made me think about my life. I’m just a burden to our family, to be honest. My medicine and treatment are expensive so they have to double up for Grandma and Grandpa’s dialysis. As much as I wanted to help, I couldn’t because of illness. I can’t go out and take a part-time job while studying. Though I’m working through online but it isn’t enough.

“We can’t escape it,” I answered. “It’s nature, we live and then we die.”

Elm purses his lips. “Why so morbid, Anna? Be happy to be alive.”

“Well, I’m just stating a fact.” I shrugged. “In the philosophical concept, the Circle of Life means that we start at the end and end in the beginning. Our lives, from beginning to end, resemble a complete full circle. No matter how big or small the circle is, it ends in the exact same way for everyone. We are 7.9 billion people inhabiting this earth, all facing the same challenge of a global pandemic. Human nature, on a daily basis, calls for action. For us humans to have the feeling of accomplishment, we have to leave our natural habitat (our ‘comfort zone’) and do things that give us some sort of an almost divine satisfaction such as work, university, or even going for a materialistic shopping trip where we exchange possessions.”

“Yes, we can’t escape it but it doesn’t mean you’ll live with it,” he responded, looking at the night sky so I also looked, the surroundings were dark again.

The two of us were silent, feeling the cold air. I hugged my arm that was shaking from the cold, my jacket was only thin so it was cold especially when we were on top of the mountain. I felt Elm put a jacket on my shoulder so I looked at him.

“I’ll make a fire and our tent.”