The Lonely Luna

Overwhelmed

*Amorah*

Overwhelmed... I feel completely overwhelmed. Once I get back to my packhouse, I link the staff to let them know I'm back and then head straight to my office. I swing the door shut behind me, before walking over to the couch and throwing myself down on it. My office has a desk on one side with two chairs across from it and a couch and a small coffee table on the other side. 

I remain laying there for a minute and then jump back up, pacing back and forth. I have a sensation, a burning feeling racing across my skin. I feel almost like my skin is crawling, while my mind swirls, flowing in ten different directions. I don't know how to feel, what to think, to be happy or sad. How can I move on with my life knowing that my first mate is no longer here? The guilt I feel from the situation continues to weigh on me every day... but at the same time, how do I pass up another gift from my goddess? Another chance at happiness?... Do I deserve it though? After what I let happen to my other mate? 

Deep down inside, I know there wasn't much that could have been changed about that night, but that doesn't stop the constant round of what ifs... What if I had been stronger? What if I had taken the situation with Brandon's brother... his threats... more seriously? What if I would have linked for help a moment or two earlier? What if I wouldn't have went into labor?... but it doesn't matter. Nothing can change what happened now and no amount of questions can bring him back... but if I accept Matthew, can I keep him safe? What if I lost him, too? 

I don't have to worry about Brenton... he was killed that night but we live in a world that's far from safe and anything can happen at any moment. And what will Brandon think? While he's watching me and his son from above? Will he be angry if I move on? Resent me for loving another man? For finding happiness with someone other then him?

I shake my head, trying to erase the questions from my mind, but that doesn't work. I turn and head from the room, running down the steps, all the way to the basement where the wine cellar is located. I very rarely drink but today I could definitely use one or two glasses... or maybe bottles... of wine. Something to slow the racing of my heart and the thoughts pounding through my mind. 

We keep an extensive collection of wine, typically for parties and such. I grab a bottle, not even bothering to look at the label. I don't really care what it is. I'm seeking the calming affects, nothing less. I stop in the kitchen, grateful it's empty for now, and grab a wine glass before returning to my office. 

I uncork the bottle, pouring a nice sized glass and taking a drink as a knock comes at the door. My Beta walks in without waiting for a response, coming to a standstill, and raising an eyebrow at me. 

"What's wrong with you?" Marissa asks, crossing her arms against her chest and peering at my intently. 

I shrug, trying to play things off "Who said anything is wrong?" 

She smirks at me "Not who... more like what. You don't drink... yet here you are... drinking.. DAY drinking at that." 

"Just feeling a little stressed, that's all." I mutter, trying to avoid answering the question honestly. 

"You've been stressed out everyday for years and I've still never seen you day drinking... maybe we should try this again... what's wrong?" she asks bluntly. 

I should have known that my annoying ass Beta and best friend would pick up on something, but I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it... to actually tell someone I have a second chance mate. Especially when I haven't even processed that information myself yet. So, I decide to answer the question indirectly and hopefully redirect her attention elsewhere. 

"I just returned from the Alpha meeting with Alpha James' pack." I replied, hoping she believes the meeting is the source of my stress and not someone that was at the meeting. 

She walks over, taking a seat across from me as I sit at my desk. "How did it go?"

"Actually better then I expected. Alpha James was all ears when I talked about my theory of there being more then just wolves involved... we ended up deciding that it would be best to find a witch either way. Obviously, it can't be an Andreski witch though, for obvious reasons."

"And...?" Marissa prompts, encouraging me to reveal more. 

"And... so I offered to try to get one of the Silver Butterfly Coven members to come in." I reply. 

Marissa let's out a slight gasp, surprise flooding her face "In exchange for the favor they owe your family?" 

I nod my head, not saying another word as I wait. I know she will have more to say. 

Marissa studies me for a minute. "Are you sure you want to do that? 

I meet her eyes, knowing its likely that I will end up having to tell her the truth if I want her to fully understand, but still not sure if I want to just yet. "Yes, Marissa I'm sure." 

"Do you think your parents will agree? Your family has made sure that the favor wasn't treated frivolously and passed it down to ensure that the pack would have the protection of powerful witches if needed. That YOU would have that protection if needed." she reminds me. 

"And yet" I laugh bitterly "If wasn't there the one time I really needed it, so what difference does it even make?" 

Marissa looks at me sadly, regret shining in the depths of her eyes. We all grew up together, Brenton, Brandon, Marissa, Ben, and I. I know she feels the loss of a close friend and has tried to be there every step of the way for me and little Brandon, but she still doesn't understand the loss of a Mate and how hard it really hits. I pray to the Mood Goddess that she never does. 

"Is there another reason?" she asks, tilting her head and studying me "I feel like maybe this is more then just about Alpha James and his mate." 

"How well do you know the Queen's Brothers?" I asked, answering her question with one of my own while I take another sip of my glass of wine. I haven't drank the entire glass yet, but the bit I have has helped calm my nerves a little bit. 

"Not very well, Amorah. You know this. I know Alpha James as a neighbor and a pack leader and the other one, Michael but I've never met the two younger brothers." she reveals, not surprising me in the least. I didn't meet Matthew until today and I've been in that pack house before. Just never at a time when he was as well. This is the first time he's ever been at a meeting or attempted to be involved in pack business. I'm not quite sure what his role is in the new pack or if he even has one. Either way, it doesn't really matter to me. 

"I met Matthew today... the 3rd Queen's brother." I inform her, momentarily glancing away. 

"ok" she responds, sounding confused for a second before her eyes light up and she stares at me, examining my face. 

I nod my head, confirming the words that she hasn't yet spoken "He's my second chance mate."

*Abbi*

I look up, meeting those familiar eyes, and let out a gasp. "You grimy b***h" I let out as I struggle to stand. 

She shakes her head, sending her blonde hair flying "Now now Abbi... that isn't very nice."

Blonde hair... gray eyes... so similar to the ones on the man I almost married. His mother... and the woman who was named our God mother from the day Ava and I were born. My mother's so called best friend. 

I can't reach the bars well enough to use them to help myself up. So I curl back, raising myself to my knees and using the wall to help me stand up. "When I get out of here..." I start, stopping as I stand and the world starts to tilt. The walls spinning around me, in glorious shades of different colors. 

"What Abbi? What are you going to do?" she chuckles. 

"Angelica, I'm going to rip your head right off your damn shoulders." I vow, even as I struggle not to throw up the contents of my stomach. I don't even know how long I've been here or if there is even anything in my stomach but the urge to throw up is almost overwhelming. 

"That's going to be a little difficult with the amount of Wolfsbane in your system." she let's out a giggle. It turns into a crazy sounding laugh that echoes off the walls and makes me cringe on the inside. 

"I'm not stupid Abbi and I've waited too many years for you and your sister. Twenty one years to be exact." she says, tapping one of her heels off the ground and listening to the echo as it emphasis her words "twenty one long years... that's given me plenty of time to think of everything." 

I listen to her words, one thing sticking out to me the most "My sister and I?" 

She nods her head, smiling at me gleefully "You and Ava, Abbi. She should have been here, too... but no worries. She will be" 

I feel a sudden surge of energy and run at the bars, but the chain around my ankle stops me a little short "b***h, if you touch my sister, I swear to you, it will the last thing you ever do." 

"Aww, Abbi. Always the protective older sister, huh? I have no plans to hurt her though. You are both too valuable to me" she says with a smirk, her gray eyes dancing with glee. This is really funny to her. It really makes me want to rip her head off. 

"Why are you doing this?... This isn't how you treat people that are "valuable" to you." I snarl, wishing I could shift and bust this damn chain off. The load of wolfbane I can feel in my system makes it very unlikely though, for at least a few days... and that's without any more injections. 

"Your not actually the valuable one persay Abbi... all you really are is another flea ridden dog." she muses, curling her lip in disgust as she looks at me. "But your blood on the other hand... your blood is what makes you so valuable.... the only reason I'll keep you alive."

My blood runs cold as I look in her eyes. There's nothing there, just a blank, empty, power greedy slate. It almost sends a shudder through me but I stop it. This is the monster we needed to worry about. Not Liam, although he's probably part of it... but I'm definitely staring at the mastermind behind it all. How did we never see this? 

But as I think back I realize its been years since I've seen her in person. She stopped coming to our parties and to the pack house after our mother died. She would meet up with my father or one of the warriors and leave Liam with them. They would escort him to the pack house and meet up with her again when it was time for him to go back. 

"Ding ding ding." she exclaims suddenly, her eyes lighting up. "Hot damn, did you figure it out?" she laughs, clearly amused by the situation. "I knew to stay away from you. I knew according to the legend that one of you would be able to see the "truth" and would know my intentions weren't pure at some point. So I made sure to stay away, but I kept my hens in the house... even if he was too stupid to know he was a spy this whole time. It's amazing what a child will tell you without even thinking twice." 

She shoots me a wink "Everything I've needed to know Abbi..."