Bader

7

I believed in Bader's explanation on what really happened between Carlo and him; that it was Carlo who initiated it, and that Carlo had a predilection for Bader. Because of this, my friendship with Carlo (and even Rodney) was adversely affected. We avoided talking with each other. Or if we had the chance, it would be short and superficial.

But there was a part of me which tried to understand Carlo too. Like me, he had a family, and his wife was on the family way. We were practically trapped together on the same boat and in conflict with the same paddle. Besides, Carlo's refusal to say the truth on his part was a kind of defense mechanism. He didn't want to expose himself. For me, it was reason enough to understand.

One day, Bader invited me to a wedding of his male cousin. I was excited because it would be the first time I will see such a local rite. My mind was curious on how the celebration could occur with their women covering their faces, or what would the reception look like with all the male and female guests congregating together. My line of thought was stereotyped the way Filipino weddings were organized.

"So from which family this girl whom your brother will marry come from?"

"She's our cousin."

"What? He marries his own cousin – first degree cousin?"

"Yeah, what's the problem? And many people in this country do the same. It’s a part of our practice."

"Marry their cousins? Wow, I did not know that!" I said in amazement. "How did he court her?"

"There's no courtship. First, if I want to get married, I got to tell my family. Then my mom will give me a range of suggestions from my cousins, other relatives, or from other families. Based on their suggestions and my choice, my sister will befriend the girl. My sister then will tell me how she looks like, her character… something like that. And if both – the girl and I – have decided through our intermediaries to proceed with marriage, then my family visits the girl's family, decide on the dowries, the engagement, and the target date of marriage."

"You choose her… you mean like in the auction?" I laughed teasing him.

"Shut up! This is my country, not Philippines. Don't say something like that" he reprimanded me.

"Sorry…"

Then thinking of the same possibility that he too would marry one day, I asked in a serious tone, "How about you… when you get married will you still come to me?"

He held my shoulders, looked straight into my eyes, "Of course I will. What's the problem seeing you here? What's the problem if I bring you to my house? My wife wouldn't care about it? And remember this, even if I am not here anymore, you can always come to my house. It’s the friendship, Mike. It’s your friendship with me, with my brothers and with my family."

I was touched by Bader's words, but a line that he said also confused me, "What do you mean 'you are not around'? Why? Where will you go?"

"Mafi mukh! (brainless) Why, you can predict what will happen tomorrow? I don't care if I die, yeah we will all die. How about you, are you sure you will still live tomorrow – hahahahaha!” He laughed sarcastically. And teasing me, "…and when I die, take the other half of the pendant from my wallet, ok?"

“Why? What for?”

“To burry the two halves togeth—“

"Oh, shut up Bader, I don't want to hear it!" I cut him.

"Why?" You are afraid to die?” He said still insisting the topic. Then he kept silent, went straight to the back of my seat and slid down inserting himself between the chairs back rest and me and wrapped his arms around my belly. "Will you miss me if I die?" he said his mouth on my right ear.

"Bader please shut up, ok? I said my hair seemed to stand at the thought of him talking about dying.

"Oh, maybe immediately after I die, there is another one to replace me, ah…" he said teasing.

"Tarantado! Do you know I've been in your country for years without doing anything like this until you came? If you will die, that would be better because I want to straighten up my life, s**t!" I said raising my voice as I stood up, went to sit on the chair opposite my desk, my tears about to roll down my face. "Maybe you are talking about yourself… if I die you will find a replacement for me immediately." Tears finally rolled down my cheek.

"Oh, shittt!" He shouted seemingly regretful of what he said. Then silence followed.

Later he followed me to my chair, stroked my hair, "I'm sorry… Don't cry please. I know how you feel, ok?" Bader hugged me as he held my cheek and kissed my lips.

"No Bader! You don't know how I feel. You don't know what the heck I'm into." I said suddenly moving my head to avoid his kiss. "Do you know what's in my mind always? I think about my family, and there you are in the middle standing in our way, do you know that?"

"God! Are we into this again? Arrggggh! I can't believe this!" Bader shouted, tore his hair in disappointment, went to the doorway and banged the metal door as he went out.

As I was left alone in the training room contemplating in self-pity, I thought of calling it quit with Bader. I could not help my tears to flow down thinking of the mess that I went through, how I came to be attached with this person, and how my heart broke for guilt every time something happens with me and Bader. I thought that maybe it was good if I would just die, or that something drastic could come that would separate him from me.

After an hour, Bader came back, brought soft drinks and some foodstuffs, placed them on the table as he again slid himself at the back of my seat wrapping his arms around me. "I'm sorry Mike, I am really sorry…" he said in a pleading tone.

"I want to stop this madness Bader. I want to forget you! Why don't you just hit me, or leave me alone!" I sobbed feeling helpless for the intricate situation that I was in. I wanted to shout and tell him it's all over and I did not want to see his face again. But my heart melted when I saw him pleading and showed me his concern and warmth.

"Don't worry, Mike. Everything will be just fine… trust me!" as he patted my back and wiped my tears.

Wedding day came. When we arrived at the venue, we entered into a hall which pretty much looked like a huge living room, the size of a basketball court. We first removed our shoes, placed them on the rack already full of a few other pair of shoes and sandals worn by the attending locals. The place was elegant with around four huge brightly lighted chandeliers aligned at the center of the ceiling, the floor furnished with thoroughly-dusted sky-blue carpets, the wall painted white and expensive sofas partly occupied by visitors circled by the wall leaving the center free and where other visitors chose to sit on with their legs crossed.

The room smelled of flower and incense. As we entered, everyone looked at us. I had the feeling it was me they were curious about. As my eyes surveyed the place, it was an all-male gathering, the guests were of different age brackets. But most are in their teens, twenties, or thirties, wearing their white thobe, their national attire and ghutra, the local name of their headdress. I also noticed that I was the only Filipino in that room.

I sat on one of the sofa while Bader remained standing greeting his friends, hugged, kissed their cheeks, talked to them. Some friendly young and friendly locals came to me and said "Hi!"

Suddenly, Hassan with a friend appeared. They greeted Bader, talked for a while and when Hassan saw me, he came over and introduced his friend, Jafer. The two of them sat down, Hassan beside me and Jafer on the other side of Hassan.

Jafer was about the age of Hassan, he had smooth dark skin, well-shaven curly dark hair, pronounced eyebrows that complemented his curved long eyelashes and seemingly-talking eyes. He had a set of buckteeth that went so well with his nice full lips. He wore a dark body-fit shirt that revealed his nice built, faded jeans matched his shirt.

"Mr. Mike, this is Jafer, my friend,” then he turned to Jafer he said, “Jafer, this is Bader's friend, Mr. Mike," Hassan said.

Jafer extended his hand to me, "How are you Mr. Mike? It’s nice to meet you!" Jafer said as if reciting an exaggerated dialogue in an English class. He gave me a smile as his set of dimples showed. He was pretty good-looking.

"I'm ok, how about you, Jafer" I replied in the same accent.

Jafer could only give me a timid smile. I thought he could not speak English too, just like Hassan. So I did not speak anymore.

Later, Bader sat beside me. "So you already know Jafer? He is also tarantado, like you. This is 'sadik-sadik' of Hassan" pointing to Jafer.

"What do you mean 'sadik-sadik'? I inquired.

"Sadik is friend, right? Sadik-sadik, hmmmm… more than friend" giving me a nasty grin.

"You mean boyfriend"

"Tarantado! We don't use that word here, ok?" as Hassan and Jafer laughed looking at Bader and me.

So, I shut up but my mind flew back when in one of my meeting with Bader's father in their sitting room with me, Bader and his younger brother, Jassim. Jassim's friend asked to be excused and left in the middle of our conversation. When Jassim’s friend was already out of the room, Jassim’s father teased him in front of me saying, "Sadik-sadik" gesticulating, drawing his two index fingers together alluding to the closeness of Jassim and his friend. Then added, "Like you" pointing to Bader and me.

That episode made me really wonder what he meant by it. But I did not give it any more attention although at the backseat of my mind, I thought that Bader's father must have known everything between Bader and me. In that country, it's common for two male friends to experiment things to the point of getting emotionally and sexually attached since they could not mingle with the opposite s*x. s*x is a taboo, but the friendship is not.

"Why are only men present here?" I asked Bader noticing that no women ever arrived.

"They're all on the other building, the next block from here. After the wedding ceremony, the bride will go there while the groom stays with us. Then there will be merry-making separately."

"You mean there will be dancing?"

"Arab dances, not like your dance! If you want, we can stay a little later so you can see how we Arabs dance perform the dance." Then looking into my eyes, " and I will dance with you!"

"Hahahaha! Tarantado!"

“Of course a man dances with other men here. There’s no women as you can see. And even if there are women, I’d rather dance with you.”

While we were talking, scented water was passed around for us to drench our hands. Then incense followed of which everyone would fan towards them so they can relish the smoke. I just followed what everyone did even if I did not understand its significance.

Later, tea was passed around. I saw some locals took shots too with their handy-cams.

As people gradually filled the place, foods were served in extra-sized trays where about five people would surround. We ate hands as we seated cross-legged on the carpet. I was with Bader, Hassan, and Jafer sharing one of those huge trays. We first washed our hands from the taps aligning at the washrooms then we returned to eat, as the voice of a religious leader reciting and singing verses reverberated all over the hall.

The foods offered were Khabsa and Mandee, Arab dishes which was rice cooked with the chicken or meat and some flavors. Except for the apples, oranges, bananas and melons, everything was purely Arab food.

An hour after and we were done eating and had cleaned up, the groom arrived the reception with his father, some relatives, and guests in a convoy. The groom wore a thobe and a gold overcoat, the one normally worn by princes or sheikhs. As he entered, he tramped around the hall with his father, kissing, hugging, and congratulating the guests. When my turn came, I extended my hand. My intention was only to shake it in a normal fashin. But when the groom pulled it to draw my cheek into his cheek to kiss, I was forced to kiss him too, to the amazement of everyone who laughed and clapped their hands. Although I was surprised for the unexpected jest, I couldn’t help but laugh too. I could also see Bader laughing hard.

It was 12 midnight when all the guests started going out on the street dancing and shouting and whistling, to the sound of drums.

"So this is how we dance, not the one in your mind which is done in pairs." Bader said. "Our private dance will be later in my room with Hasan and Jafer" he whispered naughtily.

"Hahahaha! i***t!" I said, with an air of suspicion, asking myself what was in Bader's mind again when he said that.

Then he joined dancing with Hassan and Jafer in the crowd, shouting and whistling. I was awestruck at how Bader danced, jumping and waving his hands looking at me like stupid. I laughed silently.

"You wanna dance? Come!" He invited.

My mind forbade me out of shame but as other dancing locals invited me to join them, and so I hesitatingly obliged to the increased shouting and whistling of the crowd.

An hour more and we went home to Bader's accommodation. Bader and I were in his car while Hassan and Yousef were in Hassan's car. It was 2:00 am when we reached Bader's house. The place looked deserted with a handful of juveniles loafing on the corners waiting for something I could not have imagined. Bader, Hassan and Jafer greeted them as we continued walking into Bader's house.

(To be continued)