Bader

6

The thought of what Carlo revealed would not just go away. I was full of anger and a feeling of betrayal. So when Bader and I were again together at the Training Room, I did not show him a good frame of mind. I did not greet him nor say anything even if he knew that I knew he was there.

"Hey, Tarantado! What's the problem? Why is your face so ugly today?" Bader greeted me with his usual naughty greeting alluding to my sulking face.

Such a line of language is our unique way of making fun of each other. Sometimes when we talk over the phone I would tell him "You are a big Tarantado!" He would answer, "Oh, thank you, I like it, f**k you!" and I would answer back, "f**k me... really? When?" Then we would both burst into laughter with him saying, "O, you are the number one Tarantado in the world! That's why I love you!"

But at that time I did not say anything, not even turned to look at him. Deep down, my heart wanted to scream or hit something just to show him I was damn furious. And all I could do was to continue ignoring him, doing my stuffs and pretending I was busy.

"Hey… is there any problem?" Bader said seriously becoming aware of my mood, his hand patting my back.

Still I did not say anything.

He sat in a corner reading something observing what the heck happened to me. Pissed off after a few minutes sensing I would not really speak, he sat on the seat front of my table, held my chin with his hand and turned it straight into his face. "You don't really want to say anything? Ok, let's play games!" he said threatening.

It's Bader's nature. Every time he would notice that I was bothered of something especially if he feels it involves him, he would move heaven and earth to let me spill it. For him, knowing that I was bothered of something especially about him disturbs his peace of mind and he would not allow himself to be home, nor let the sun set without it settled. So he would stop at nothing to make me open up, and then settle it right there and then. It's the one thing I like with him. He would face the problem head on, settle the matter immediately and when it’s over, leave it behind. And in the following day, things would be normal again. That’s how simple he would deal with a problem.

So he went out of the training room banging the door upon his exit. After a few minutes, I heard a sound of a heavy vehicle seemingly approaching the building, then, a big thud on the metal door.

The door of the training room could be opened from the inside by pushing it. But at that moment I could not do it. I tried to peep from the window and all I saw was Bader driving the heavy equipment loader, blocking the door. When he saw me, he moved the loader back and then moved it into the door banging it again.

I suddenly felt my heart throbbed fast. I rattled thinking that if anyone would see him in that act of demolishing the building, there will be an investigation which would either end up with me being included in the punishment or worse, our relations will be uncovered. That will be the end of me. In the Middle East, having a man-to-man relations is a taboo that carries with it a penalty of imprisonment for an indefinite period and cancellation of contract without claims of benefits. You are lucky if the company just kicks you off and send back home on the earliest available flight.

What are you doing, i***t?!!! I shouted in anger and panic.

"Demolishing this stupid building. Wanna help?" he shouted back.

Knowing Bader’s attitude, I knew he wouldn’t back down. So I shouted, "Ok, come on here! I'll talk to you!"

“Good!” Bader answered in an air of victory, climbed down from the machine and went straight into the training room leaving the loader still partly obstructing the doorway.

“Why don’t you return first that stupid thing you parked outside and then come back?” I said still worrying if somebody would see and investigate why that loader was oddly parked in front of the training room.

“No way! If you are afraid that someone will see it and he will come inside to ask, I’ll f**k him!” He said his eyes raging in anger. “So, what’s your problem?”

I paused for a while, my body still trembling and said, “I talked with Carlo...”

“I know.” he interrupted.

I was stunned and felt a surge of jealousy creeping over my system again. “What? You talked to him again?” I said raising my voice.

“O, Shut up!” Bader said scornfully. “He came to my work last night during my night duty and confronted why I told you about what had happened between us.”

“And what did you say?”

“What did I say? Hmmm, let me think... Yeah, aside from telling him the history of the universe, I told him everything; that I told you what really happened. And he left me his nose puffing out smoke and fire and his eyes flaming like a vampire in total anger with me.” He briefly stopped, his angry eyes stared at me. “Happy now?”

“Er…” was the word that came out from my mouth. I was stunned.

“Now, your story” he demanded, his voice still roared in anger.

“Carlo s-said that you courted him! Is this the reason why you asked me not to talk to him so I won’t discover your secret?” I screamed.

“Wow! Shiiiitttt, drama! ‘Todo Na To’!” he said sarcastically alluding to a Tagalog TV game show which was so popular among Filipino co-employees at that time and which many Arabs learned as expression. “That friend of yours is a certified liar! He’s covering up because I discovered – and now you know – that he likes d**k more than he likes the p***y of his wife!” He said mocking Carlo.

I did not answer. I just looked at him, my mind was deeply in quandary, asking what and who to really believe.

Sensing I was still not fully convinced, he held my chin again with his left hand, drew it near his face, our noses almost touched, “Mike, tell me” his right forefinger pointing to his face “Is this the face that would go after a guy? Even if you would let me just stand there outside and all the Filipinos pass by, check how many of them would give me a stare like they will swallow me whole. I hate to say this but damn! You know I’ve got looks Mike. And on top of that, I got built, and this thing in between my legs! Do I have to say it again?” then he released his hand. “Mike, believe me. If I want s*x, I can have it anywhere I go and I don’t have to go after some damn closet opportunists pretending to be straight. If ever I need to go after someone, it must be a she, not a he, you know what I mean.”

“Not a he…”

“So why me?”

He paused and stared at me in the eyes. “You’re a she. I look at you as a she… And I love you.”

I didn’t know how to answer. I wasn’t sure if I was happy or insulted. So I just diverted the topc. “S-so how did Carlo come to know you? He is from a different section?”

“I don’t know! He said he noticed me during one of our company beach trips wherein I drove crazily my car and then I charged my other Arab friends who didn’t want a dip but when I caught them, I tossed them one by one into the sea. And he was the one who approached me first, OK?”

I suddenly remembered that incident. Bader was just new to the company then and it was also the first time I noticed and admired him. It was the company-sponsored beach trip and he drove his sports car at full speed into the sandy beach in a swerving motion keeping all of us holding our breaths watching him skillfully maneuvered his sports car. For that bold exhibitionism, he earned an on-the-spot verbal reprimand. Then, when he finally decided to take a dip, he removed his upper shirt leaving only his swimming trunk ready for the swim, his abs and his muscular body unraveled right before our eyes. He was a perfect hunk and looked so tempting with his excellent built and enormously attractive face. I knew that for those having an inclination to like men, they salivated just by watching him playfully playing and occasionally running to-and-fro on the beach like an innocent kid, chasing his other friends and mischievously hurling them in his huge biceps one by one into the sea. That incident was still fresh in my mind.

Then Bader continued, “There are many ‘he’ coming after me, Mike... in the Filipino barber shops when I get my hair cut, in the market, in this damn company, everywhere! But it’s you I chose. It’s you I love. And most of all, it’s only you I’ve introduced to my family and my father. And don’t ask me why because I have no idea why the hell I fall for you! s**t!”

“But why do you need to have s*x with others if you love me?” I screamed tears about to roll down my cheek.

Bader felt a surge of anger for my intransigence and shouted, “It’s not about s*x, Mike; it’s about love and trust! Don’t you understand what I’m saying?” he said, kicking the chair in front of him. “I am a local, Mike, remember that. Here, I can go anywhere I want, do whatever I want. Yeah, I may have s*x with others, I admit it, coz I am at this age and it’s what my body drives me to and I can’t control it. But as I said, these are flings and have nothing to do with love!”

My tears finally flowed down and I sobbed there upset at what I heard. I could not control my raging jealousy. “So you had s*x with others…”

“Damn! You don’t really understand do you?” he said his hands tapping his head and tearing his hair in complete frustration. “Arrrgggghhh!” Then he went beside the chair I was sitting, squatted, moved my chair to face him, held my head drawing our faces close to each other and said in a mild and pleading tone, “Mike, I love you. It’s the simplest explanation. I don’t know what more to say, or how to figure out the right and exact words to make you completely satisfied and happy. But I love you, I really do!” He looked into my eyes, his eyes as if searching for something pleadingly. Then he removed from his pocket a two-half detachable heart-shaped silver pendant with the words “I LO” in one of the halves and “VE YOU” on the other half. He detached the two halves and gave me the second half. “I brought this last night when I accompanied my mom to the market. When I saw it, I remembered you and my heart leapt for joy that finally, I had found a way to let you feel how I truly care. Keep this as a symbol of our inseparable lives. And I want to see this in your neck always. And as I am a local and it is not allowed for us men to wear necklaces, I will keep mine in my wallet wherever I go.”

It was like I was doused with cold water. My anger instantly subsided and my jealousy vanished. I took the second half with the “VE YOU” letters, admiringly looked at it on my palm. “This is beautiful!” I exclaimed.

“I hope you believe me now, Mike. Please don’t hate me...” Bader said his eyes imploring and transfixed on my face.

I gave Bader a big hug and we hugged tightly. When we stood up, our lips were sealed. He lifted me to sit on my table without detaching our lips. Then as we removed each other’s clothes, we released our raging passion, filled the burning desires of our flesh, and made love like two people thirsting for each other.

After we were done, we cleaned up, put on our clothes back. Then Bader wrapped is arms around me, “Mike, I don’t know what more can I do to make you believe me...”

I did not answer. I planted a kiss into his lips again and said, “I understand now Bader; I do...”

Then he gave me a big smile, bent over to extend his arms to grasp my legs and my back and then carried me into my chair.

He was heading for the door already when I shouted, “Hey, where’s the chain to this pendant?”

He returned, bent down, removed the black lace from his right shoe, and handed it to me, “O, I’m sorry, I almost forgot. You have to use this.”

I just looked the black shoelace he placed on my palm. As I looked at him, our eyes met. We both burst into laughter.

(To be continued)