Chapter 1 Xenia
1257 Words
Present time,
Xenia p.o.v.
A whiff of cold wind came inside and scattered all the documents in the entire room. Great… All my hard work was dashed in a second.
I glared at the broken window like it will ask forgiveness for its mistake… Ugh, why didn't Father Nicholas leave this old tower?
I could understand it was so peaceful, and the view was incredible from here, the green and brown shade of mountains...covered with dense big trees, golden pillar of our holy church and children playing happily in the rose garden...as if the tower was surrounded by heaven itself but still, the tower was so broken that sometimes I get worried that it will crumble…
Standing from the chair, I closed the curtains, however, they were useless for stopping the wind, but I could try, perhaps they could give some small help.
The sun was setting, leaving the darkness behind it...
The old office was looking scary in this darkness. The tower had several rooms and we made one room as an office for church-related work. The small office was made of wood. The walls and floor were so old that they always made an irritating sound whenever we walk on them. The entire cabinet was filled with documents, we didn't even know if they were important or not.
I am going to clean this office one day…
Glancing at the scattered documents, I decided to work again. I picked up the lighter and candles from the desk and put them on the stand.
Why didn't Father Nicholas come back? How much time he will take to bathe? I was afraid he will use the whole warm water, and then I have to bathe from the remaining cold water…like always.
Lightning various candles, I sat again after picking up the documents. I have to complete it today, no matter what.
“ You are still here, I thought you have completed it by now”
The deep, dominating yet caring voice of Father Nicholas came from behind. Controlling all my throbbing sensations, I glanced at him.
He was in his clerical attire, black shirt tightly covering his broad shoulders and his hard chest...slacks loosely hung around his defined hip bones...hiding those long legs. It's been five years since I was living here, but still seeing him without his black cassock felt so strange...so strange that it always left me breathless and my inner thighs wet and sticky, oh, god forgive me for my sins.
His dark black hair was wet and stuck backwards, showing his beautiful face clearly. He smiled when his deep blue eyes met mine...that smile, that smile made me do sinful things to myself. If there were a devil in god's skin...it would be father Nicholas.
The light beard covered his cheeks but still, his defined jawline was visible, sharper than my dagger. And those red savory lips…oh, so luscious. How could a man look so perfect? I asked myself. That same question wandered inside my mind every painful day...and every sinful night.
Averting my lustful gaze from him, I took a deep breath. I had to stop thinking like that, he was like a father to me. Even thinking about him was a sin, an inexpiable sin.
“ I almost completed it, but that broken window ruined all of my work…why don't you renovate it. “
I replied, settling the unanswered letter aside, So I could reply to them later. There were not many women who could read and write like me, but Father Nicholas taught me everything.
“ I can use that gold in other useful works rather than renovating this old tower. Anyway, I like it broken…”
He replied, sitting in front of me. I clenched the paper so tightly when that feeling returned.
My heart started beating so fast when my eyes roamed over his muscles, the shirt get tighter when he folded his hands. It looked as if it was going to tear apart…
“ What did you do?”
I get startled when he suddenly asked me that. Looking into his face, I tried to calm myself. He couldn't read my thoughts, could he?
“ Umm… nothing, why? “
His blue eyes were looking at me the way, a parent would look when they caught their child lying.
“ You only clasp your cross like that when you did something wrong…”
Bending my head, I noticed that I was gripping my cross so tightly. I didn't even realise when I did that!
I got this weird habit from Father Nicholas, whenever he wanted to smoke a cigar he gripped his cross so tightly. I used to make fun of him when he did that. But two years ago, when I thought of something sinful for the first time, I did the same.
Those sinful thoughts never go away. What I thought, was a small childish fascination became something more…something forbidden, a sin.
I couldn't even think about it, I shouldn't think about those thoughts..or him, he is a god's man after all. And I should have felt disgusted by seeing a man of my father's age like this. He raised me as his own, and he was a priest, untouchable.
A forbidden fruit, which I could never get, but still every single night, I touched myself thinking about him…
" What are you doing princess, you will hurt yourself."
When his warm hand touched my cold ones and removed my hand from the pendant...My entire body shivered like a lightning bolt...I could feel the warmth spreading from my hands to my breast...to my paunch and then to those implicit despicable places between my legs.
Father Nicholas kneaded his thumb on the back of my hand when I raised my head to see his face. He was standing near my chair and looking deep into my eyes… His expression was unreadable.
Did he also feel these shivers when our hands touched, or did his heart also start beating so fast when our eyes met? Did his breath also hitches when we look at each other from afar but couldn't touch…Those stolen glances, unexpected touch, was it even possible he felt that too?
“ You don't need to be afraid if you did something wrong…you can tell me, okay? “
He said while kneeling in front of me like he was talking to some kid. But for the first time, his fatherly tone didn't match his eyes. The way he was looking at me with such longing gave my entire body shudders.
My heart was beating so fast, and it was not only my heart that was trembling. The place between my thighs was throbbing so fast, that it hurts… It felt as if it had a heart of its own…
His ocean-like blue eyes were looking at me, we were staring at each other but not saying anything...both silent, only sound which could be heard was the sound of romping wind outside the tower...and the cranky sounds of old wooden windows, clashing with each other. There was a storm coming...I wonder if was it more disastrous than the hurricane I was carrying inside my heart for years...was it more fatal than loving a priest... a god's man.
“ I think you should go now”
He rasped with a clenched jaw, removing his hand. The way his chest was rising and falling swiftly, I could assume he is taking deep breaths…like me.
Before I could say anything, he left the room. Leaving me alone, confused and frustrated.
- Writer
