THE HONOURABLE MAN

Episode 53

An hour on the road means only an hour left to reach their destination. Sam sits silently with his eyes peering out the window. His mind is racing with all sorts of thoughts, he is nervous about seeing his mother in an orange jump suit. He has never been to prison before and he is not looking forward the experience.

"Hey....are you doing okay?" Bryce casts him a concerned glance.

He hesitates to respond for a brief moment, "I'm just feeling a little nervous," he admits.

Bryce comfortingly squeezes his shoulder, "It's going to be alright...don't think too much," he says.

"Can we stop by a fast food restaurant and buy my mom her favourite pizza?" He lights up at the idea to delight his mother.

"I'm sorry but we can't," he shakes his head.

"But why not...are you still angry at her?" He wrinkles his brows with a downcast expression.

"It's not that... no food is allowed inside prisons," he informs.

After mulling over his words for a second he speaks,

"I guess that makes sense, it would be easy to poison an inmate if they allowed visitors to bring in food,"

Bryce is astounded by his statement, he gazes at him with a bewildered look.

"Aren't you too young to be thinking of such things?...That thought didn't even cross my mind I'm surprised a kid like you would think of something like that," he curiously side eyes him.

Sam gulps, "It's the only logical reason I could come up with," he mutters with a low voice.

"If you say so...anyway I brought some cash with me...you can use it to buy your mom food from the vending machines inside." He offers.

Sam brightens up, "thank you," he grins with appreciation.

They remain quiet throughout the rest of the trip, at last they arrive at the Alandro Federal Correctional Institution. Bryce is twenty minutes early so as to fill out paper work.

Sam's eyes flicker towards the perimeter fencing with a razor wire. He gazes up at the tall buildings and spots armed guards who are intensely monitoring movements.

Being within the prison premise is a harsh reminder to him that his mother is not away at some get away vacation but is in fact living among other criminals.

She is a criminal to everyone but to him she is a mother who made a mistake that she has to be punished for behind bars. He doesn't think it's unfair for her to be behind bars because she is guilty but it drains him emotionally to have her taken away from him.

Its still hard for him to come to terms with the fact that his mother is in prison. What does that say about him, the fruit of her womb? What would his school mates say if they found out? Most importantly is his mother safe? Will being in prison change her into a different person, perhaps better or worse?

As they head towards check in point with his mind still churning Sam begins to tremble convulsively, he barely manages to write his name to sign in. Bryce's comforting hand takes his and squeezes it gently, quietly encouraging him to be strong and this helps him to hold back the tears.

Thereafter they are moved from one room to another until finally they are moved to the visitation room. They first pass through a metal detector before a warden asks them to outstretch their arms to form a "T" as he pats them down searching for any weapons or accessories that are not allowed in the visitation room. This causes fear and anxiety to creep into Sam's head.

Bryce understands that those security measures are in place for a reason, but he still feels they are degrading and uncongenial to children. But what can one do? To protest is to risk visit privileges being withdrawn so instead one has to just suck it up and accept being searched like a potential criminal.

On the other side Janet is strip searched, submitted to a cavity check to make sure she is not smuggling something in her butt or behind her ears or underneath her tongue to pass on to her visitors.

"Sam...you have to be on your best behavior otherwise you will not be allowed to visit your mother again..do you understand?" He lowers his voice so only he can hear him.

Sam blinks for a second before nodding his head in agreement.

His eyes dart around the wide room, there are a lot of square tables pinned to the floor. They are spaced about two meters apart allowing a bit of privacy from other inmates and their visitors. The set up looks similar to that of a school cafeteria only difference being the multiple guards standing in the room to supervise the visits as well as the cameras and the recorders that are set up.

Once they are seated, a warden heads out to inform Janet that her guests have arrived. This is the first time she will finally get the much needed physical contact with the one person who cares about her. The brief hug and kiss she will be allowed at the beginning and at the end of the visit will be enough to sustain her for an entire week or month.

She looks forward time of jubilant conversation and unbridled joy which she hopes will allow her to forget where she is, even if it's only for a short moment.

Sam fixates on the door the inmates are coming through. There is a light above the door and a guard standing there. The light turns on when ever an inmate is coming through. He is unable to take his determined eyes off the door as he watches one inmate come through, then another, and another in anticipation for when he will get to see his mother.

The minute a familiar face trudges through the door Sam jumps from his seat and rushes forward to meet his mother half way. She scoops him up into her arms and presses him tightly against her chest.

"That's enough!" A guard barks at them forcing them to break apart. The hug was cut too short and Sam feels like it only lasted for a second. His eyes sparkle with tears, he clenches his jaw and fights the urge to bawl his eyes out because he wants to be strong for his mother.

***

Janet's eyes light up with joy and passion at the sight of her only child. It becomes evident to Bryce that she has learned to love someone else other than herself. Her eyes flicker towards Bryce who is still trying to come out with the right words to say to her.

"You don't have to say anything Bryce," her statement startles him. He wasn't expecting her to read his mind. He had forgotten that she lived with her for a little over half a decade therefore she knows him.

Bryce's face flashes red with embarrassment, "How are you Janet?"

She tilts her head up to face them and that's when they notice the bruised marks on her face and the dark circles under her eyes.

Warm tears begin to stream down Sam's cheeks after noticing the state his mother is in.

"Janet! What happened?" He peers at her with a concerned and worried gaze.

She hangs her head down and hesitates to respond, "I don't want to talk about it... we only have a short time together how about we spend it talking about better things?"

Bryce asks Sam to purchase food for his mother from the vending machine so as to buy a moment alone with Janet. Once Sam walks away he quickly turns his attention to her. "What the hell Janet? I expect you to refrain from fights and be at your best behavior so you can be eligible for parole," he scowls at her with disappointment glinting in his eyes.

"This is prison Bryce...you get into a fight without a choice...what is one supposed to do when an inmate pounces on them for no apparent reason?" She huffs.

"So you are saying you weren't the aggressor?" He searches for truth in her eyes.

"I'm not surprised why you'd think that but no I wasn't," she convincingly responds.

Bryce leans back against his chair and his expression begins to soften. "Good and keep it that way...we don't want you to end up being moved to a maximum facility and your sentence being extended," he sighs.

"I don't want that either...trust me," she pauses and glances over her shoulder taking in a glimpse of Sam who is still fighting with the sticking vending machine.

"How is he?" She questions softly.

Bryce glances at Sam for a moment before responding, "I think he is hanging in there...he is a strong kid and a very good kid," he curls his lips into a smile.

"And I guess that surprises you huh?" She chuckles.

Bryce casts her a questioning look and she adds, "I mean the fact that he is nothing like me,"

"Honestly it does," he giggles. He notices the sullen look on her face, "But he definitely inherited one of your strong suits," he states.

"Oh yeah...which is what?"

"Your strength? Sam is a strong kid both physically and mentally," he mentions.

"Does he talk a lot?"

"Not really...why do you ask? Are you afraid he might tell us something he shouldn't?"

Before she can open her mouth to respond, Sam returns to the table with a bag of crisps, a bottle of soda and a bar of chocolate in his hands.

"Thank you Sam," she gives him a cheerful smile.

Bryce excuses himself to give them a moment alone to speak in private. He finds an empty table to occupy.

"So...how are things at home and at school?" She asks while tearing open the bag of crisps, she then motions to him to join her.

"I'm okay mom...aunt Kiana prepared the most delicious breakfast for us today, I couldn't help wiping the plate clean so I'm still full." He responds.

"I know Bryce loves you and he would never treat you badly but I can't help worrying about how his wife is treating you?"

"You don't have to worry about anything mom...Kiana is the most kindest and loving woman I have ever met," he praises.

His mother clears his throat and lifts her brows at him.

"Aside from you of course," he mumbles.

"Who did this to you?" he wrinkles his brows and points to the bruises on her face.

"I don't want to talk about me...I want to hear happy stories only.. tell me about yourself.. have you made friends at your new school?" She intriguingly peers at him.

Sam tells her all about his new friends before excitedly telling her all about the exhilarating Bahida trip.

It pleases her to watch the elated expression on his face as he shares with her his adventures in Bahida. She glances over her shoulder to where Bryce is seated and she casts him a thankful smile.

"Sam," she calls out firmly and he knows what she is about to say to him.

"No matter how kind they are to you, you have to remember that they are some things you should never tell them," she lowers her voice so not even the recorders can make out her words.

Sam anxiously looks away and remains silent.

"Sam!" She barks.

"I didn't tell them anything," he frantically responds.

"Good and you should keep it that way," she sternly demands.

"But mom Uncle Bryce and Kiana are good people and they have not only been kind to me but to you too. I'm sure when the time is right I can tell them the truth and finally get to unburden my heavy chest," he blinks.

His mother glares at him, "don't be naïve...you can't trust anyone...you can't tell anyone," she grumbles underneath her breath.

Janet quickly glances over her shoulder to check if Bryce or the guards' eyes are on her. When she observes that neither of them are facing her way she relaxes a bit and softens her expression.

"You know I did everything that I did...for you Sam...I hope you will always remember that." She says with a hushed tone.

He remains silent for a moment, deep in thought. He closes his eyes and exhales deeply, "Mom I..."

"Shhhh let's not talk about this any more...there are cameras and recorders everywhere. We are never speaking of this topic again at least not until I'm out of here... do you understand?" She sternly peers at him.

"Yes mother," he nods.

A few minutes later they gesture to Bryce to come back to their table and he does so without delay.

"How can we make your stay here any better...I mean is there anything I can do for you?"

"Well if your wife doesn't mind it would be nice if you could send me some money on a monthly basis," she averts her eyes from his gaze.

"Mom...what do you need money for in prison?" Sam asks with puzzlement.

His mother giggles for a brief moment, "there is so much you don't know about prison life my boy. Prisoners can use money to make phone calls, buy postage stamps, get access to emails and even to buy snacks and their preferred hygiene products," she explains.

"Okay...I'm sure Uncle Bryce can leave you with a few dollars...right Uncle Bryce?" He stares at him with pleading eyes.

"He can't...inmates are not allowed to handle cash. Money should be deposited into our commissionary accounts," she pouts.

"Well... I think I can make a plan to purchase you a radio or an mp3 player before I leave," he offers.

"Bryce...you are too kind and I really don't deserve your kindness...not after..." she is on the verge of tears when Bryce shushes her.

"You will find a way to repay me when you get out of here...how about that?" He gives her an encouraging nod.

She smiles gratefully, "I would love nothing more," she simpers.

A few minutes before their time is up, they make use of the available photo ops. Bryce watches as Janet flings her arm around Sam as they pose for a photograph.

When the visit comes to a close, Janet briefly hugs Bryce and thanks him for traveling such a long distance to bring Sam to see her, she also thanks him for sparing his time and for the promised purchases.

She then turns to Sam who is already bawling his eyes out, she hugs him with deep affection and whispers to him “Mommy loves you and before you know it she will be out of here but for the mean time you can write to me and I will write back. Once I get email access you can share your photos with me," she tries her best to hold back her tears.

Bryce's eyes begin to sparkle with tears as he watches the emotionally challenging moment between Sam and his mother.

Janet sits down and sullenly looks on as the visitors line up along the wall to be escorted out by the correctional officer. As the line of visitors began to file out, Sam glances over his shoulder while continuously and emphatically waving to his confined mother.

Bryce purchases an MP3 player, a pair of shoes, a few snacks and also pays for a few privileges for Janet.

Once they are back in the car, Sam bursts into tears, he can't handle the emotional strain and the agony that ensues as it's time to go. Leaving his mother behind felt like abandoning her. He feels like his chest has been sat upon by an elephant, he begins to gasp for air as his chest tightens.

Bryce pulls him into his arms and allows him to let it all out. He understands that holding in the tears for too long will do more harm than good. He believes its okay to cry as it is a means of letting go of all the feelings one has built up for too long needing to be released.

"Let it all out Sam," he encourages him. He is comforted by being allowed to express his pain without being made to feel weak for shedding tears. All he needs is someone who understands and a shoulder to cry on and he is gratified to have found that in his Uncle Bryce. Tears continue to trickle down his cheeks until they wet Bryce's shirt.

When he eventually runs out of tears, he pulls himself together. Bryce hands him a tissue and he uses it to dab his face. "Thank you for allowing me to cry Uncle Bryce...I really needed that...I feel so much better now," he flashes him a weak smile.

"I will always be here for you Sam...you don't have to go through any of this by yourself," he fondly squeezes his arm before starting the engine and driving off.

Janet returns to her dormitory that morning experiencing many emotions. On one hand she is filled with indescribable joy and peace for having spent precious priceless time with her son but on the other hand she can't help feeling a sense of dejection as she is confronted with her own reality that while Sam and Bryce freely walked out of the prison leaving her behind she has to return to life as she knows it.

She regrets ever taking her freedom for granted as well as not spending enough time with her son when she could.

Later on she is handed the items that Bryce purchased for her. She cheerfully accepts them and safely locks them away in her personal locker that is secured with a combination lock which she purchased for herself on commissionary the day she was incarcerated.

After they arrive back in the city centre, Bryce decides to stop at an ice cream parlor before driving home as an attempt to cheer up Sam.

As they sit down licking their ice cream cones, Sam takes the time to thank him for keeping his promise to take him to see his mother as well as purchasing items for her.

Bryce worries how his wife will respond to Janet's request to send her money on a monthly basis. The thought to keep it from her crosses his mind but then he reminds himself that secrets always have a way of coming out and biting him in the ass.