The Sound of the Sea

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Three months earlier

A strong breeze blew in from the sea. White-capped waves lifted into the air, curled, then crashed with explosive force onto the white sand. Pairs of tiny black eyes on stalks began to appear from burrows hidden in the sand—crabs on the lookout for food and danger.

Liam sat on the towel from his gym bag, which hadn’t been used at a gym for quite some time. His knees were drawn up to his chest with his arms hugging them. His bare feet were in the sand, and his shoes and socks beside him. A man with a golden retriever walked by. The man smiled at him, though Liam barely noticed. He may have been staring out to sea, but his eyes were oblivious to the salty beauty that stretched all the way to the horizon.

The breeze chilled his face and hands. It threw itself against him, until it felt as though it was blowing right through him, taking every bit of warmth from his body. He shivered, though it barely registered. He was too deep in thought.

It had been a difficult fourteen months, with the divorce and an ugly custody battle. It was over now, leaving in its wake a void about the size of a six-year-old boy.

Initially, he’d missed both Helen and Lucas. How could he not? They’d been a family unit for the past six years, sharing everything—the good and the bad. But since Helen had discovered his copy of Big c***s stashed between the mattress and the bed base, she’d naturally been rather hostile towards him. Never in front of Lucas, thank God, though it was always simmering beneath the surface.

He could still recall the conversation as though it had happened yesterday…

“What does this mean?” she’d asked, thrusting the magazine in his face as he walked in the door after a day at work.

Liam suddenly felt nauseous. He looked around the room for Lucas. He couldn’t have his son overhearing any of this.

“He’s at Joel’s house,” said Helen, noticing her husband’s discomfort. “Now, what about this?” She shook the magazine in front of his face.

Liam couldn’t speak. He thought about making something up, about it belonging to someone else, while at the same time thinking this might be the perfect time to come clean, to get everything out in the open. Perhaps he might be able to get off more lightly if he told her he was bisexual. s**t, I only bought the bloody thing so I wouldn’t have to leave tracks on the internet.”

Tears filled his eyes as the gravity of the situation hit him head on. “I’m sorry,” he said, sniffing back the tears. “I’m so, so sorry.”

Helen flung the magazine at his chest. “Sorry!”

He looked at her, shaking his head. “I never, ever wanted to hurt you.”

At that point, Helen started crying. “Have you done anything with another…?”

Liam shook his head. “No. No. That’s why I bought the magazine. I didn’t want to…” He was going to say “betray you,” although he knew he had. With the magazine. That was a kind of betrayal. Wasn’t it?

“How long have you known?” asked Helen, her tone calmer, though frosty.

Liam shrugged. “A while.”

“How long’s a while?” she screamed, the veins taut in her neck.

Liam shrugged again. “For sure, since I was about seventeen, eighteen.”

Helen moaned. Her tears came thicker and faster. “Fourteen years? Fourteen years! You knew when you asked me to marry you?”

Liam reached for her hands, but she recoiled, putting them behind her back.

“I tried to suppress it,” he explained, sniffing and doing his best to regain control of himself. “I wanted a wife and children. I wanted it so much. I thought I could push down those other feelings. Hide them. I thought maybe they’d go away. I prayed they’d go away. I just wanted a family to love. I just wanted…”

Helen regarded him through narrow eyes. “You selfish prick!” she said, her voice icy cold. “You absolutely selfish prick. I wanted. I wanted. You never thought about me? Lucas? How your lies would affect us? How this, this…revelation would affect us?”

Liam wanted to lash out at her, as she was lashing out at him. “I hid the magazine so I wouldn’t hurt you. You’re going to condemn me for buying one goddamned magazine?”

His anger fed hers. “I’m not condemning you for buying a magazine! I’m condemning you for lying to me. Betraying me. For turning my life upside down. I loved you. I thought I’d found the man of my dreams. Someone to grow old with.”

“We can still do that, can’t we?”

Helen shook her head. “You really are a selfish bastard!”

“What did I say?”

“Do you honestly expect to stay with Lucas and me after this? Expect to play ‘happy families’ while thinking about c**k the whole time?”

Liam shook his head, turned, and walked towards the stairs.

“Where are you going?” shouted Helen.

He ignored her and kept walking. In their bedroom, he packed a case, taking everything he’d need for the next few days. By the time he’d finished, Helen was standing in the doorway, her beautiful green eyes red and puffy.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“I don’t know. A hotel.”

He picked up his case and brushed past her. On the way to the stairs, he poked his head into Lucas’s room. Clarence, Lucas’s teddy bear, sat propped up against his pillow. He could see the edge of his son’s Star Wars sheets. He wouldn’t sleep in anything else, so Helen had bought three sets. On top of the bookcase stood his collection of toy dinosaurs and spaceships. Hot tears poured from Liam’s eyes…

Now, as the sun slipped ever closer to the watery horizon, setting the sky on fire with an amazing palette of colours, Liam remembered how he wondered, as he looked around Lucas’s room, if he’d ever see that room again.

The spectacle of a classic Australian sunset was dying. The light was growing dim and Liam was chilled to the bone. He grabbed his shoes and socks, and stood up. The beach was deserted but for a lone swimmer.

Must be mad, thought Liam, as he started the long walk to the car park.

The swimmer was closer to the shore now, riding the crests of the waves, no doubt to keep them from dragging him under. He was a strong swimmer. Liam had to give him that. But there was no way he could survive out there for long. And how was the poor guy going to make it back to shore? The waves were so big and breaking in such rapid succession, it was going to be a battle to get safely onto the sand.

“Are you okay?” he called.

The man turned to face him.

“I said, are you okay? Do you need any help?”

The man was powerfully built, with muscular arms and shoulders. The choppy water and dimming light made seeing anything else almost impossible.

The man waved back. “No, thank you,” he replied, before diving into a wave and disappearing.

Liam’s heart leapt into his mouth. His eyes were riveted on the waves.

You i***t. Who goes swimming in conditions like that?

He took out his mobile phone and was about to call the police when he heard a shout from further along in the water. It was the man. He’d resurfaced, waving as though he hadn’t just caused someone to nearly have a heart attack.

Liam started walking, his pace brisk. He was cold and hungry, and since the i***t in the water could obviously handle himself in rough, choppy seas, he was free to go. Conscience clear.

The man was still waving as Liam left the beach.

Yeah, keep waving. i***t!