New start
1194 Words
*** Selena's POV ***
Alexander's words reach my ears in a muffled way. I'm not entirely sure what he said, all I know is that when he gets up from his spot, I freeze in my spot. My heart hammers in my chest, the sound of it drowning everything else around me. I gawk at him as he nears me and by instinct, I take a short step back and look towards the canvas. His eyes were far too intimidating- he was far too intimidating to be looked directly at...
"I think a I need you to pose for another day. I'll finish up the detail work myself-" I start talking, the sound of my own voice barely reaching my ears.
I was certain that my voice was shaking, because my whole body felt that it was. My arms come up around me slowly, and my own fingers sink into the muscles as I try to calm myself.
"Maybe wear something you like so I can-" I continue, shrugging lightly, trying not to succumb to my own thoughts and worries.
But I stop talking when I feel another touch on my upper arm. My head snaps towards Alexander and my heart skips a beat. His touch is gentle but it holds enough firmness to lend me almost unable to pull away.
Because it might have been the first time in way too many years when someone else's touch did not mean I was going to get hurt, mocked, belittled, or used...
I take in a long shaky breath and averted my eyes from his gaze as I felt my eyes grow watery once more. How many tears did I still have to shed?
"Do not-" I start talking, surprised at myself for finding the strength to do so. "- bother yourself with questions unrelated to the painting." the words leave my mouth before I can exactly pick what I wanted to say. I didn't need his attention. I didn't want his attention, because if it were not for him, The whole situation would have simmered down and dust would be settling over it.
But no. He had to interfere. He had to turn Max against me. He had to come in and make my ex-fiance think I was in in all of this! He had to come in and make Max think that I had him disowned, became I was secretly having an affair -
Part of me realizes that if it were not for Alexander, things would never have changed. I'd have chosen the same abusive relationship I had been in for years, for the comfort of it, rather than choosing myself...
"I do not need your pity. I do not need your attention. And especially I don't need a guard around to keep me from taking legal action against your family!" I hiss at him as I get the courage to start walking out of the room, while I realized I did not have the courage to pick a fight with him.
The house is silent and I feel like an ant. Small and insignificant. I'm not even sure where I wanted to go. There was no place in the house that brought me comfort... Maybe staying here was a mistake. Maybe holding on to this material possessions didn't allow me to grow out of this phase.
My thoughts are a storm and I can't find one single coherent thing to hold on to. Everything was a cacophony of feelings and thoughts and shards of plans that had gotten ruined along the way here.
But before I am lost to my own mind, another's touch brings me back to reality.
"Do not mistake me for your abuser..." the words come like a bucket of ice water bumped on a barely burning fire and the coldness in his voice makes me want to disappear.
"Then who exactly are you?!" I blurt out as I slap his hand away and narrow my eyes on his figure. "For years you've made it clear you don't like me! And now? You suddenly come here almost daily. You come back again and again like a damn boomerang and what am I supposed to make of all this if not that you pity me?!"
As my words fade, silence settles between us and the fire of anger dims down as well. My defiant eyes trail away from him to the side, in the direction of the front door.
"I'll leave in the next few days. I found another place to say and I've gotten most of my things there already. I just need to find a place for my studio. Once I do that, I'll be out of your way." I tell him and when I look up at him, I honestly have no idea what he was thinking.
Cold and distant eyes meet mine. His lips are pressed in a thin line, and he doesn't seem to be either happy or sad about what I had told him. Of course he isn't. this man was not capable of basic humana feelings.
I nod shortly.
"That's all for today, Mr. Callahan." I announce to him and bow my head in a formal gesture. "I am certain you'll be able to find your way out even if I do not see you out."
I don't offer him the chance to say anything anymore. I've heard enough, even with the few things he's said...
***
As Aaron enters the house, I feel a tinge of disappointment that Alexander is not right behind him. But I guessed I had made it very clear that I didn't want him around.
Yet, I force a smile on my lips. He'd never know it was fake. He'd never know that I had spent the day crying. He'll not know I was still burning with pain and resentment.
When our eyes meet, I find myself overwhelmed with the need for comfort and from this place I take a strange decision that I was well aware I would regret a while later.
"Hey!" I hum and take the take away bags from him. "Glad you could make it. You are officially the first person that gets to visit me in my new home!" I add with a childish tune in my voice.
Aaron's eyes don't peel away from me as he offers me a charming smile. He didn't care for the apartment I lived in. He didn't care for the decor I had chosen. He didn't care there was only one bedroom. And I am more than certain he knew exactly why I asked him to come over and it was all he cared for.
"That's quite an honor, really-" he mutters, the smile turning into a playful smirk as he follows me.
*** Aaron's POV ***
I have met Selena ages ago and ever since then, I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that she was one of the women I could not be allowed to touch. It was simply carnal, to begin with. Her gentleness, her softness, her eyes that reminded me of the innocence of a doe...
And I wonder if tonight....
- Writer
