Cringe
1157 Words
Alexander says nothing the entire walk. He walks beside me, with one of his hands dug into his pocket, and the other holding his cigarette from which he puffs every once in a while. Mainly, the thing turns to ashes by itself, before the man has the opportunity to enjoy the bitter taste of it.
"I never knew you were a smoker-" i make a small comment, trying to break the silence between us, but Alexander doesn't seem too eager to start a conversation.
"Mm..." he grunts and takes another long drag from his cigarette, holding the smoke into his chest before exhaling slowly.
The street lights were all on and by now, the night had swallowed everything around us. There was still a lively buzz around us, but nothing seemed to get to him. He was lost in his own little world and I wondered why did he even bother?
Why did I fool myself by thinking we could actually have a lovely evening together? Foolish girl-
I stop in front of the building and turn to look at Alexander who measures the tall building with his eyes, one of his brows coming up in a questioning way. I feel my eyes roll before I speak again and he looks at me.
"Thank you for your company. It's been lovely to not walk alone." I offer him a polite smile, bringing my hands together in front of me and bowing my head a little. "I wish you a good night, your majesty..." my voice trails off. The words feel disgusting on my tongue and my whole body tenses and shudders as I speak it. I mentally cringe and when I meet his eyes again, he seems almost amused.
"Are you not going to show me your new place?" he asks and I feel my stomach knot with anxiety.
"You want to see my place?" I blurt out, dumbfounded by the sudden request.
"I would actually like that." he hums, as he puts out the cigarette on the designated spot by the entrance of the building.
A cold shiver rushes up my spine and settles somewhere at the base of my skull, making me twitch lightly as I try to process what was going on.
"It's nothing really-" I rush to say, unsure if the place was actually presentable. "It's rather small and-"
"Selena..." he rasps and the tune of his voice makes my knees feel weak, especially when he closes the distance between us and his hand reaches up, and he pinches my chin, forcing me to look at him. "I really need to talk to you in private and the offer for dinner still stands. We can order something you-"
"We can meet up any other time!" I rush to interrupt him, bringing one of my hands up, my fingers wrapping slowly around his wrist, trying to step away from him.
His hand was cold. Terribly so, but the touch was comforting. It was gentle enough to allow me the possibility to pull away, but harsh enough to prove a point. And yet, I was just another impertinent woman-
His eyes move to my hand and one of the corner of his mouth comes up in a gentle, barely there, smirk.
"If you don't give me this opportunity right now, I will not be asking for it again." he speaks, voice gruff and husky, a mere whisper, meant just for me to hear.
I swallow past the lump in my throat and look around us in a bit of a panic. Was there anyone who saw this? Was I going insane?
"There is no one else here, doll." he slowly lowers his hand, pulling away from my touch.
Doll-
I feel warmth spread through my body, a faint buzz underneath my skin which reminds me of nothing else but lust, while at the same time I almost want to gag.
Who was this man and where was the cold and distant and horribly aloof Alexander?
"Alright-" I murmur and nod softly before I turn around and unlock the glass door of the building. "You can come upstairs..." I add with half a heart.
I'm not sure if I was nervous, anxious, or genuinely scared for my own safety. It felt like this whole thing was some sketchy setup...
I feel a gentle hand on my upper back, right above the cut of my dress. Cold fingers brush against my skin, and it instantly turns to goosebumps.
I look at him past my shoulder, but he is not looking at me. He is looking at his own hand, at the ring on his finger, and he slowly pulls his hand away and tucks it away in his pocket, his attitude changing almost instantly.
Silence, as heavy as earlier, sets between us again and I feel stupid.
"I hope you know I'm not just some w***e-" I hiss through gritted teeth as I begin to think of all sorts of possible scenarios.
Alexander slowly turns his head to me, visibly disturbed by my words, his brows drawn together in a tight frown and his lips slightly parted as I leave him at a loss of words.
Cringe. Just how f*****g cringe can I be?
A rush of blood tints my cheeks and I rush to step in the elevator. The thing was big enough to fit two people, but right now it felt too cramped. Alexander's arm brushes against mine and I want to just disappear before I can ever look into his eyes again.
As we step into the apartment, I frantically look around to make sure nothing from last night was still there. Gladly, there was no piece of indecent clothing tossed anywhere or any alcohol stinky glasses left lying around... I vaguely gesture around as I let Alexander enter and point out where the bathroom is, because he asks this before I can even wish him a proper welcome.
I remain in the doorframe as the man rushes to the bathroom.
I stare at his back until he disappears, and I press my hand against my forehead as soon as i am alone, letting out a long, confused sigh.
"What the hell is going on-" I murmur to myself before I slowly take off my shoes and step further inside the apartment. "I'll go ahead and change into something a little more comfortable!" I announce as I hesitantly make my way to the bedroom.
Once inside, I have the urge to lock the door, so I do. The key twists with a gentle click and I feel little better. I couldn't tell why my heart was so frantic every single time this man was around.
Why was it that everytime he looked my way, I felt like I didn't belong anywhere in the world, while also, all I wanted was to know he was going to be there everytime I fell, to catch me-
- Writer
